Do I need his permission for a passport? Not on birth certificate no custody order

[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )

I want to take my baby on a cruise. The father has not established paternity and he is not on the birth certificate. I told him if he wants to see my child he needs to take the steps to establish paternity and child support. He doesn't want to establish paternity because he is afraid of child support. He only wants pictures of the baby to show off to his family and friends. My baby is two years old and I have not sent him pictures or let him take the baby anywhere. If he doesn't want to establish paternity then I won't let him see my baby. Anyways, my question is do I have to fill out any special forms so my child can get a passport when paternity is not established? Thanks for your help, and before anyone says "You picked him" my baby shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes I made, so unless he makes the effort to prove paternity and pay child support my baby will be spared from being around him. He has never bought anything for my child not even a Christmas or birthday present and I will not allow him to hurt my baby. I apologize if this offends anyone trying to be helpful, but it needs to be said some people care more about the best interest of the man and not the child. How anyone would think it would be best for a child to have a relationship with a man who doesn't even buy presents for Christmas yet has money for cigarettes and other things he wants is bizarre

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Trisha - posted on 02/27/2015

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I am sure there is a way, as not all mothers know the father of their children. Call the authorities that handle that where your from, and ask them the question. As horrible as it is, I would just claim that I do not know who the father is in that situation.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/27/2015

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Oh for God's sake. NOW you're going to play the "I'm not really SURE he's the father" card?

It is your responsibility to know who the father of any child you have is, really. For medical reasons, if nothing else. Stop making excuses for why you're willing to alienate the child from their biological father. I wouldn't be surprised if the guy isn't making any effort because you've told him not to bother, and so he's biding his time.

Ev - posted on 02/27/2015

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I am not going to get into the "you picked him" scenerio but I do have a question; did you know about the other women and kids? If so, you did not stop things from happening. You both were responsible for the protection not just him or just you. I also find it in a lot of posts that he is good enough to be with but when a baby comes out of it, he is no longer any good.

There are so many that think the father is no good for all sorts of reasons from not being able to take "proper care" of the baby to the drug user. All we have here is your word on this and we do not have his end of it. You have to have absolute proof he is a drug addict before even anything will be done by the courts. I hope you have it.

Jodi - posted on 02/27/2015

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Here is the thing. You know he is that father of your child. Whether he has established paternity or not, you are choosing to alienate your child from him. If he does decide to fight this, he has absolute proof that you are denying him access to his child. Drug addict, not a drug addict, whatever, you are actually committing parental alienation. People lose custody for that; it happens all the time. Just saying. I hope you have had legal advice on your actions and have that legal advice in writing.

The whole "when he establishes paternity, then he gets to see the kid" is playing a game. You already know who the father of your child is.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/27/2015

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You are avoiding the issue. A responsible adult would request a paternity test so that they could get the other party served for support.

You are not doing your child any favours. You, as many other women, have decided that YOU know what is best, regardless of any legalities you may be ignoring. Go ahead. When the kid's father does finally petition, and fight for custody, he'll have a great chance of getting it, because you just admitted, in writing, that you will not allow him to know the kid.

That, my dear lady, is parental alienation.

Jodi - posted on 02/27/2015

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I can only go by what you write in your OP! And in that, you only mentioned cigarettes. Yet now, he is a drug addict. I am frequently surprised by how often that one only comes out when someone is challenged.

I hope you have proof that he is a drug addict. You may need it in the future.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/27/2015

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Lauren, it is not for YOU to decide whether or not the child is allowed to know his biological father.

So, you can be the adult, put on your big girl panties, get paternity established, and ask for support (and abide by visitation orders), and most likely keep physical and legal custody, or you can not pursue anything, have the man pursue paternity on his own, charge you with parental alienation, and have a very good chance of having the child removed from your care at all.

Jodi - posted on 02/27/2015

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@ Jen, if he was on the birth certificate, she absolutely would need his permission for a passport. Been there.

I don't think you will need his permission if he isn't on the birth certificate. However, IF he decides to object to it, it could get tied up in the courts awaiting a DNA test.

Can I ask why you wouldn't want to establish paternity anyway? Aren't you somehow denying your child the right to a parent? Of course you are!!! Your child has a right to a relationship with its father.

If you want him to make the effort to prove paternity and pay child support, just file. But stop playing your "little game" at the expense of your child.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/27/2015

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Call a family attorney if you want to make sure.

If you want paternity proven, get a judge to order a test. Then, you can get support orders.

Jen - posted on 02/27/2015

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If he's not on the birth certificate I don't think you need his permission to get a passport. Even if he was on the birth certificate I still don't think you would need permission. If the port leaves a city in the US and ends in a US city then youre technically not leaving the country. Either way I don't think he matters. Good luck 😊

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