do i need to be concerned that my four year won't play with other kids

Tammy - posted on 04/27/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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do i need to be concerned about this he is in preschool three days a week and he doesn't want to play with the other kids and his teacher has told us he needs to get some socialization skills

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Lydia - posted on 04/27/2012

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if he hasn't had much experience with playing with other kids than maybe it's just to overwhelming for him to get involved with a whole group of kids at once. I think scheduling play dates with kids from the preschool group so he can get to know them one on one will probably help. Maybe he lacks a bit of confidence and needs your encouragement. Some people simply are uncomfortable in groups and prefer one on one time to open up. I am like this myself, I don't like crowds, I rather just hang out with one friend at a time. My daughter also often just plays by herself when there is a crowd of kids especially if it's a new place or if there are some kids she doesn't know, but she will totally interact with the other child if we have one friend over. She will play with a group of kids if she knows all kids from before and if the environment is familiar to her. Sometimes if we go to a new park or a play place at the mall that she isn't used to she'll play by herself even if all her friends are there. Also sometimes I they just need a little practical help as to how to play together or how to start to relate to a child. You might be able to give him ideas, like for example how he could play ball with a friend, or play cars together (like a race or something)...

Catalina - posted on 04/27/2012

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Well I get that! Haha I'm 25 and I have the same fear! :-)

I would try and schedule some one on one play dates with kids from his preschool and see if that makes a difference! :-)

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User - posted on 04/27/2012

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she says that he more or less likes to play by himself but i have talked to him about it and he says that he is afraid that if he asks the kids to play with him they will tell him no!

Catalina - posted on 04/27/2012

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Hmm, I think concerned is maybe the wrong word.



I would have some play dates at your house watch how he interacts, look for signs of mild autism. Has his teacher given you more information?

Have you asked him why he isn't playing with other children?

At four he should be playing with other children, but maybe there is a back story, mean kids? he feels left out?

I would do a little more research before becoming concerned.



Best wishes,

Catalina

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