DO PARENTING GET EASIER AS KIDS GET OLDER?

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Bebe - posted on 08/12/2012

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Most new parents when asking this question really mean to ask "does it get easier, physically? As in, does the sheer amount of PHYSICAL labour & resulting exhausion get alleviated? Will we be able to sleep an entire night undisturbed like before? Can we have 10 minutes straight without having to turn over & over again to check on our baby? etc etc..
This question almost always gets misinterpreted and generates some discouraging replies. New parents usually DON'T mean to ask for opinions about how their kids will have to be dealt with as teenagers or young adults, etc etc. They just simply really mean to ask if and when does it get less demanding physically.
And easier it does get as the baby grows older.
Learns to communicate
Gets a hang of toilet-training (no diapers, finally!)
Learns to self-feed (gradually)
Understands your instructions
Learns to be independent in little ways
Life DOES become a lot easier..until you have another little one :) Be a good parent, raise well-behaved & courteous children and you will barely have to deal with teenage (or pre-teenage) tantrums.

Diane - posted on 11/13/2009

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As an experienced mom of 5 (ranging in ages from 31 to 20 and one grandbaby) it definitely does get harder. A LOT harder! Kids are just like puppies and kittens, sooo adorable, but they grow up FAST. Too fast, especially in today's society. Kids need to learn to keep themselves busy, by playing... and using their imaginations! Simple things like dolls, matchbox cars, playing in sand and with water... and read to them from a young age, teach them the joy and fun of reading! Tv and computers can be so addicting... when is the last time you saw children playing outside, like playing jump rope, hopscotch, playing simple but fun things like tag, hide and seek, etc?? You don't have to spend a lot of money to have a lot of fun! My parents sure didn't spend it on me. My happiest memories as a child (I was born in "56) were riding my red bicycle (my pride and joy), roller skating, playing with my dolls... using my imagination! This is why today's children are "bored" and the more they get, the more they want... and this breeds a generation of very unhappy children... and parents! The most precious gift you can ever give your children, is your TIME! Play with them do things with them, simple things like a picnic, read bed time stories, color, play with play doh, finger paint... bake cookies, just fun, "together" stuff. Let them know you love them! The best things in life really are free! Don't spend tons of money on them, spend your TIME with them. Save the money for their education later, they will appreciate it!

Velma - posted on 11/12/2009

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Right!!! Take it from someone who was blessed to raise 3 with only the help of God..It doesn't get easier, it just becomes more challanging...and you have to keep yourself more in tuned with the fine line of Mother (Parent) and Friend. You can be both - you just have to know when to be what. Spend one-on-one time with your child as much as possible..give them cards of love, letting them know how proud you are of them, encourage them to reach their goals. If you have more than one child, always make sure that you tell each one of them about themselves..(never say - you should be like your brother or sister). Even as my children are grown with children of their own. I still send them cards and/or text and emails every 3 to 6 months...If you as the parent don't first encourage and tell your child/children how important they are who will. And remember...Real Love Covers and Mulitude of Faults...So, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE...Always tell them what good they are doing first - then say "this is what we can or need to work on...It changes the out come of a bad report card, and stops a bad attitude...Happy Parenting...

Sylvia - posted on 11/12/2009

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Not in my experience. In Yiddish there's a saying, Kleyne kinder, kleyne tsures; grosse kinder, grosse tsures -- "little children, little troubles; big children, big troubles".

There are some ways in which it gets easier. A six-year-old can do a lot of things for herself that a six-month-old can't (use the toilet, feed herself, put her dirty laundry in the hamper and her clean laundry in her dresser drawers, pour herself a glass of milk, put her dishes in the dishwasher and take clean dishes out, put on her own shoes and zip up her own jacket ...). You can have a real conversation with an older child. You can't reason with a two-year-old (I mean, you can tell her the reasons for things, and you should, but it's impossible to win an argument with a toddler, so it's better not to even get into it!) but you can reason with an eight-year-old. And, of course, parenting an older child is less physically exhausting: you're not a 24/7 milk factory, they don't need to be carried around everywhere all the time, they (mostly) sleep in their own beds.

But although parenting a baby is physically tiring, I found it pretty un-challenging otherwise, compared to parenting a bigger kid. With a baby, almost every decision is easy: she's wet or poopy, you change her; she's hungry, you nurse her; she needs to be held, you hold her. You don't worry about her diet and fuss because she's a picky eater; you don't second-guess yourself constantly because someone else's kid has better table manners or isn't so shy or is doing better in school; you don't worry that you're fostering bad habits, you don't find yourself yelling or lecturing or nagging, you don't have to supervise homework. Things are clear and obvious (as long as you don't read stupid books like Babywise). Oh, and you're on mat leave, so you're not juggling work and housework and child care, either. I didn't appreciate how awesome that was until I went back to work :P

There are wonderful things about every stage, though. Even three-year-olds, difficult as that is to believe some days...

Lise - posted on 11/18/2009

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You must earn respect from your children when they are little. They must know that there are consequences everytime that they do not obey your rules. When they are teenagers it is toooooooo late. Do not expect your mate to do the disciplining... When the child misbehaves, the parent or guardian present must deal with the circumstance right then and there. Have a Great Day!

Lise

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[deleted account]

Unfortunately not. As they get bigger, problems get bigger and more complicated. The good thing is, you can reason with them better as they get older. My daughter is 14. It was actully easy when she was a baby and toddler.

[deleted account]

I feel it does get easier as they grow up. If you are the parent in the very begging. They need strict discipline, consistency and love.

Yesenia - posted on 11/18/2009

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No way I have a 17 year old and a 4 year old and our worries and issues are so different. When they get older you have a whole new set of things to worry about. Going out with friends, having friends spend the night, boyfriend/girlfriends, sports and the list goes on. Build a good foundation and the issues may not be as difficult to deal with.

GOOD LUCK

Anita - posted on 11/15/2009

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Quoting Jo:

No definatly not easier new set of challenges with older kids just remember u are mom



THAT IS SO TRUE

Anita - posted on 11/15/2009

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NO NOT REALLY IT GETS A LITTLE HARDER BUT LIKE RHONDA SAID BE THERE MOM AND LOVE THEM

Kerry - posted on 11/15/2009

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it gets more challenging when they are older. when they are younger they need u physically to care for them but as they become more independent u have to make sure they are safe but u always come over as the grinch who sets unkeepable rules. but its nice to see them grow up and become young adults.

Dee - posted on 11/15/2009

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I have 3 teenage sons (19-15 years) so i have been at ths for a while...also, i work with teens professionally (not that that helps) ~ what does help is to remember you are not their friend, they are never too old for time outs (call it grounding, whatever....i still call it time out, it gets a smile occasionally) BUT remember that their brains are functioning at about the same level as a preschooler so you can use the same techniques, just modify the response to the issue....do the crime, pay the time....take phones/take computer cords/come home or to work with you after school so they can have someone with them (daycare??? or have them be the daycare?????) they catch on fast and if you try to make it somewhat funny they too will see the humor, especially if it is an issue that has come up before...parenting is never easy, it just changes ~ the issues are bigger, the reactions are bigger and their emotions are on their shirtsleeves...they need tons of hugs (if you can get to them when they aren't looking and never let them go...they will always be our babies)

Marilyn - posted on 11/14/2009

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No actually it gets worse. Stay firm and do not let your teenager or teenagers get the upper hand. Let them know they are the child and you are the adult. Especially in this day and time children or teenagers need to stay in their place and it's the parent's responsibility to do that.

Anna - posted on 11/14/2009

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You have a lot of good comments from other moms. Many have been successful in parenting their children and in all honesty I admire them. I have found it more difficult as the children got older, because I was not able to be at home as a single parent, it became impossibly difficult and as the children get bigger, the problems do get bigger.... I am sure I have made many mistakes... I am still learning and it is a miracle that I struggle only with one but not with the other three... I am often so full of doubts and self questioning as to whether I did or am doing the right thing... being a mother is hard work... and it is never easy. .. good luck to you.

Heather - posted on 11/14/2009

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My children are 17, 15, and 12. It doesn't get easier but it changes. I have found there is a challenge and a joy to every age.

[deleted account]

When they get on their own and appreciate you efforts it is very rewarding. We raised 5 and they have all turned out to be blessings. When we did what needed to be done they did not like us at the time but it set an example for them to raise our grandchildren. If you use Bible principles of discipline with consistency it pays off. Pick your fights. Some things are not as important as others. Character counts.

Kim - posted on 11/14/2009

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It all depends upon you as the mother. I found that as y children became older it was hard for me to let go and let them make mistakes but that is an area we all have to work on. They will test you more because they know what buttons to push. I always was involved in all activities that our children were in but the really liked us there but wanted their space. My children are 23, 21, 19 and I love them with all my heart but enjoy them to the fullest each day because you never know what the next day will bring.

[deleted account]

I have raised 6 children. They are all responsible adults with jobs, family, a good sense of values and a strong family bond. Firmness when they are children is so important, as they grow ask their opinion of whether they should do something or not, as they come to the teenage years, communication.......have their friends over so you know them well too, make your house the meeting place. Above all good food limit or omit all junk food except for birthdays chhirstmeas etc. Try always to buy food that has no preservatives or colouring. I have seen terrible children become angels by this simple change.

Reta - posted on 11/14/2009

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No, parenting doesn't get any easier......but God is still God....give them to Him if you haven't already.....Pray for them all the time and love them unconditionally...They're changing and so are we....We need them as much as they need us...The Father will take care of the rest when we've done all we can. Hold fast....It'll all work out in time.....May God Bless you always....

Angela - posted on 11/14/2009

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NOPE! Just imagine... Harmonal Teenagers, Annoying Pre-teens, College, dating, boys, drugs, alcohol, high school... Hurts me brain just to think about it... Njoy the diapers and potty training..

Janelle - posted on 11/13/2009

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Post a reply! Sorry not until they are in their mid to late twenties at least, teenager years are the pits.

Rose - posted on 11/13/2009

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Dear Dear, I remember thinking that, and then I have three teenage daughters at one time. LOL, definitely my 6 year old that is trailing behind is much easier than these three. There are things that are more enjoyable, but they do challenge my husband and I on a daily basis. They always think they are so sly, and for some reason, God is what I think, you have the ability as a mom to know when they are doing their best work. Good Luck and hang in there! Don't let them get the best of you, I hear grandkids are really cute! lol

Amy - posted on 11/13/2009

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remember small kids, small problems-big kids, big problems. First it is who cut her in line at school or not staying up til 10 pm. Then it is out till whenever with whoever and your car. I do not want to scare you-you will evolve with them and be able to handle the problems. Just savior the little ones and the problems that can be easily solved with a hug or time with mom. The more time you spend solving the little problems the more they will come to you for the big problems. And even if you cannot solve things like a broken heart, you will be involved in the healing and a sixteen year old crying in your arms and a two year old crying in your arms will feel the same. It will break and fill your heart at the same time.

Christie - posted on 11/13/2009

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Yes and no.....It is nice when they are able to do some things for themselves. You don't have to worry that they are eating everything off the floor, and if you put a plate of food in front of them they are capable of eating it themselves, and they can move under their own power and use the bathroom.....However, they begin to have their own ideas about what they WANT to do. And then they get busy with school, and work and friends.....Parenting changes, but I wouldn't say it is easier. It is just different. Right now I am a grandma (in addition to having 3 teens at home) and I help my children with THEIR children....

Frené - posted on 11/13/2009

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your attitude plays a major role! remember you're in charge, regardless of the kid/s age/s - and remember to take time-out for yourself as well just to recharge your own batteries - they grow up so quick, when they leave home you wish they were back, so cherish every moment you have with them!!! best wishes

Angie - posted on 11/13/2009

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Quoting Diana:

No parenting doesn't get easier, but what habits you encourage at the younger years may be a problem when they are older. You learn as you grow together. Allow them to be an individual but at the same time give them boundaries.



You are 100% right.  If we do our jobs well when they're little, it makes our lives, and more important their lives, so much easier when they're older. 

Angie - posted on 11/13/2009

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It doesn't get easier or harder, just different. My mom always says, "little kids, little problems; big kids, big problems"

Ginger - posted on 11/13/2009

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Sorry but not too much, I have a 16yr old; 9 and 8 yr olds. I enjoy my children but sometimes I wish there was a how to book on raising kids. It's wonderful being a mom, just hang in there and enjoy the kids.

Vera - posted on 11/13/2009

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No, No, NO! hahahah! In some respects it does but in other's it doesn't. Good Luck!

Sarah - posted on 11/13/2009

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Yes and no. My oldest who is and is a boy seems to follow the rules and seems like i don't have to displine him very much. He's a seetheart and Is very protective over his
little sisster. The youngest is 2 and she s just naughty but every kid goes thru it.

Diana - posted on 11/13/2009

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No parenting doesn't get easier, but what habits you encourage at the younger years may be a problem when they are older. You learn as you grow together. Allow them to be an individual but at the same time give them boundaries.

Selina - posted on 11/13/2009

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Not really, I think it is more difficult to parent when they get older. You have to look at parenting in phases. (Being is parent is something that never ends -- I think it is life's phases.) I now have a 28 year old who is married and expecting his first child. He's the kid who doesn't call. So, I don't call either. When I do, I try not to show I am on edge. But he knows his mom. My 25 year old is a joy. She calls almost every day. She calls as soon as she is out of work and talks to me or dad on her way home. This gives me insight to what is going on in her life and she finds it helpful to hear my perspective. When they were teenagers, that was a whole different thing. My 6 year old is a delight. All that goes on in her life needs guidance, understanding and love. This is the best time of life, when they are under your control, within reach to hug and support! Enjoy those younger years, they pass much too soon.

[deleted account]

It really doesn't get easier. When they are older, there is a different set of problems. friends, school, job, puberty, mean kids, school choices, dating, etc. I agree with what one mom said, I miss when my kids were little. Hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Christina - posted on 11/13/2009

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YES! It does get easier in some ways and harder in others. First of all you don't have to lug all the baby stuff around when they are out of the pull ups phase! Then it is all up to you to keep the dialogue open and age appropriate. Follow your heart and you will be fine. If you become overwhelmed, it is okay and you should do exactly what you are doing in seeking answers to your concerns. God made infants for us to fall in love with, toddlers for us to giggle with, kids for us to play with, tweens for us to scratch our heads with, and teenagers to help us let go of them to be productive members of society. (any mom with a teen can attest to this!) Stay strong, and enjoy every phase. Soon enough they will be out of the nest, and it really doesn't matter how clean your house is because it will be the memories of silly instances that will keep your heart glowing for years to come.

Trisha - posted on 11/13/2009

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That depends on well you parent in the beginning. If you treat your child like an intelligent being, talk to them instead of yell, spend lots of quality time with them, understand they are a child therefore need to be told things a million times, do not have sense of cause and effect until they are older, then yes it gets easier. If you assume they stupid, yell at them, punish them then no. If you treat them with the same respect you expect - then you will have a good relationship with them, be able to talk about anything, they will respect you and come to you for guidance and be life long friends. The goal is not to be their mother for eternity but move into a friend position - at some point they become adults - and if you don't start letting them make decsions and accepting the consquences when they are small - they certainly won't magically be able to do so when they are older. Parenting isn't hard but it does require that you put yourself second something most people don't want to do - they ascribe to the pet theory of parenting - I can out it in the bathroom ( in front oof the TV) and do my thing and the pet will be fine - doesn't work for kids - there are no bad kids just inept parents. Good parenting starts on day one. As with any difficult relationship - the first person you at is yourself. People reflect back what you put out. Learn to put yourself in time out - when you are the problem. Like if you go off becasue the kid broke a glass - you need the time out not the kid - use plastic and keep paper towels around - and don't be one of theose people who goes oops if you do it and scream and yell if the kids does it. Don;t say on things and do another - they learn from watching us. So if you lie and tell kid don't lie - you have already lost the battle. Rather than dealing with parenting as war where you force the kids to do your bidding - which if someone tried to do to you - you would raise holy H - treat them as an ally and make chores and school work fun and do them with them. You are your child best example and teacher - Mom to 3 grown kids

[deleted account]

You know, that is a question that is open to opinions of all types. For me, it depends on the kid and the situation. I have 8 ranging from 14years to 15 months, and, while teenagers are definitely harder to parent than toddlers they still have times when it is really easy. I think the key to it all is that you don't think of it as hard or easy. Just as I would never want to go back to being younger (because I don't want to have to redo all the hard stuff I have already done) I wouldn't want my teenagers to go back to being younger either (because then I would have to redo teenager-hood). Look at each situation as "This is what I do. Every job has its ups and downs and this is just one of those moments." It gets more complicated as they get older but younger kids throwing temper tantrums in the grocery store are, in my opinion, harder to deal with than a teenager's attitude. It's all relative. Good luck!

Maryland - posted on 11/13/2009

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Some of it does get easier, but for the most part it is a challange. U just have to stay strong and let them no who is boss.

C - posted on 11/13/2009

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I hate to say it..but NO! it doesn't really. There is always somethng they do ..that freaks you out and worries you...........even when they are adults. They will always be your babies, forever. It is nice in one way but worrying in another...think us Mums are meant to worry...isn't that what we are there for.

Beth - posted on 11/12/2009

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No, they only change with age.. my kids are now 25 and 32..lol.. a whole set new set of problems.. but I wouldn't have missed a day of any of it !

[deleted account]

Hey Tricia
not easier, just different I would say ") my boy is only 2 1/2, but i have looked after kids for 7 years in total :)
The challenges changes defcon 1-5 :) What I have seen... the teens are defcon 5.
Toddlers are still dependent on you so that is easy :) naughty-corner works for my boy. And I only use it when its very very bad... if we r out - he finds his own corner and come back and say woowwy (sorry) and gives a hug :)
Patience and smiles and loads of love is the best armor in my world :)

Gaila - posted on 11/12/2009

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No it doesn't. Just about the time you think you got a hold on everything they'll hit you with something new. I have a 17 yr old and a 14 yr old and I never know whats going to happen next. I just pray and ask god to give me wisdom to help them with their problems and questions.

Sharalyn - posted on 11/12/2009

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Depends on the ages. Infancy to toddlers. More or less easier. I loved the infancy stage. But I am assuming as they get older it will be a challenge, not as hard but a strong challenge for parents. Children are becoming more independent, opinionated, and smarter by the minute.

Leigh - posted on 11/12/2009

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With some things it's much easier, such as going on trips, or even just going to the shops, and eating out at nicer places is great when they get older, because you can actually enjoy your meal without worrying about them (that is if you teach your children good table manners). Other things are hard, but enjoying family life together, & being on holidays in a new place & having them experince something different for the first time with your is great. Make sure you teach them about boundries and acceptable behaviour & attitudes when they are little means as they grow they know what is expected.

Jennifer - posted on 11/12/2009

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No, it is much easier when they are younger! As they get older you deal with attitude, mouthing, not listening, etc. It's more complicated than ever. Best to resolve issues now. Just do the best you can.

Rebekah - posted on 11/12/2009

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In some ways yes. But in other ways it is a whole new set of challenges. Instead of temper tantrums and dirty diapers you have mood swings, dirty looks, girl (or boy) problems, and other equally irritating things. Just hang in there and take one day at a time.

Luz - posted on 11/12/2009

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No it does not but I can tell u this cherish every single moment thats yet to come.

Natasha - posted on 11/12/2009

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I found that the first 3 months were the most challenging!! After my baby hit the 3 month mark he was more responsive and easier to settle. He is 7 months old now and although i still have some very difficult days over all i think it is still easier then the newborn stage!

Karen - posted on 11/12/2009

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I always thought it would get easier... I was wrong.

It is more "work" caring for little ones... physically. But, discipline was easier, etc. The older kids are more of a challenge to correct attitudes, etc.

I miss when mine were small.

Jennifer - posted on 11/12/2009

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Truly, no. The only thing I can tell you is that you get a better sense of your child even if things are always changing. Its always going to be hard but consistancy is the best thing you can do for your child and your sanity. When they know you wont give in things can get a bit more simple. My son is 3 and I still struggle with him at times and sometimes I just want to scream and/or ignore him but that is never ever the answer. Im not saying I havent yelled at him, just that you cant let your childs behavior get to you that bad. Just remember to breath and take a time out for yourself once in a while because you have to keep yourself healthy and happy to keep them healthy and happy.

Jo - posted on 11/12/2009

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No definatly not easier new set of challenges with older kids just remember u are mom

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