DO WE HAVE TO PRESSURE OUR KIDS TO GO TO SCHOLL AT THE AGE OF 4??

Pricel - posted on 06/27/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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i have a 4 yr old kid and i want him to go to school already. He went to school on the first and second day but on the third,he said he don't want to...seems like he's not yet interested to go to school... do i have to pressure?

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Zoe - posted on 04/24/2011

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Jen, do you really believe this? who told you this?
maybe the reason so many children are being put through what they really are not ready for.
No education is compulsory tell the child is 5 years old. After that they still do not have to go to school many family's legally home educate there children.
Please Google this so you no for yourself.

Firebird - posted on 06/27/2010

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My daughter will turn 6 a couple of months after she starts kindergarten this fall, she just wasn't ready for it this year. She did pre school for the last 2 years. If you're talking about kindergarten then no. Don't pressure him or he may end up always hating school. If he's not ready, give him another year.

[deleted account]

I think day 3 is a little early to decide! Some kids are ok for the first day or so, but when they realise this is it (for the next 17yrs!) they often don't want to go.
In England they are getting earlier and earlier to send their kids to school. Mine had just turned 4 when he went to school - a term of mornings (as he was young) and then full time after that. Up until he went to school he was still having a nap!!!
With this son he screamed and cried everyday on the way to school. I continued for the entire year, thinking he would get used to it. He did seem to be fine when he was actually in his classroom - but he kinda had to be.
After a year tho (he was 5) I decided I couldn't continue and so decided to home-educate him. This was very much play focussed and you do not have to follow a set curriculum. There only a few countries where this is illegal. England, US, Australia, South Africa etc there are actually a lot of home-educators. In UK you don't have to register either. In Australia the usual age for your child going to school is 6.
Boys develop later than girls, especially in a school setting as they are more physical and need to move around alot more. In school there is more need for them to sit still for extended periods of time.
Anyhow - I guess wait and see how you go. If you child is still struggling a few weeks down the line, then maybe consider taking him out. He won't be disadvantaged by it, and will probably thrive on the extra input from you. Some kids just need to be with their mums longer in the early years as this is fine. This doesn't mean he'll be tied to your apron strings when he's 20! lol!
We found talking to our local school very interesting. We have been home-educating for a few years now, but in the last 2 terms have sent 2 of our children to school part-time. We didn't even realise this was a possibility! This is working out quite well. All tho I have to say the standard of their education has already dropped. I don't suppose there is anything quite like an individualised education! At times we were very social and had to pull back in order to get some 'book work' done, now we have a happy balance.
There is no problem keeping your son at home - you are his mum - you know his needs best. Whatever you do, keep interested in what he is doing, where he is up to. Keep taking him to the next level (ie if he can count to 20, teach him 25!) Boys often need to learn things whilst moving which can be hard at school. They generally learn fine motor skills, that are required for writing, later than girls. However their balance, co-ordination, physical ability is often further ahead at the same age then girls. By about 7, this kinda all evens out. So take it slow - he's still young.

Angie - posted on 06/27/2010

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I wouldn't force him. He's going to be in school for a lot of years. You don't want him to hate school since now - it may affect him for a long, long time.

Jen - posted on 06/27/2010

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i know one of the schools my son is singned say its 3hrs a day is tht long for 3 yr olds

Sherri - posted on 06/27/2010

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NO funding in the states for preschool. I would fight it No way my child will be going to school at three. These poor kids will be in school until they are minimum 17 or 18 and most likely until they are at least 22 yrs old. Let them be kids for a little while. Even my 4 yr old will only be going to preschool 2 days a week for 3 hrs a day. I want my kids home with me as long as possible. However, I do believe they should be in preschool at least a few hrs a week by age 4 to learn what will be expected of them for kindergarten. Sitting still, listening, following directions. It really benefits them in these areas.

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Thanks for the clarification Lucy. I had no clue that there was funding set aside fot the 12.5 hours of preschool. I think that is fantastic for both child & mom!

Lucy - posted on 06/27/2010

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Here in England there are loads of play schools, nurseries and day cares that children can attend if you choose, some from birth even, and I'm sure that this is the case in most countries. Once children are 2 and a half they get funding for 12.5 hours in a pre school setting each week, but you are still not obliged to send your child at this age.

It is not mandatory for children to attend reception class at school until the September or January after they are 4. In fact, schools won't accept children earlier than this, even if you want them to.

Jen - posted on 06/27/2010

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not school reception in some n its nursery in others ive put his name down at the just nursery ones so maybe they will take him in wen his 3 or later

[deleted account]

School at age 3 is mandatory?! You're kidding! Half the kids are probably not even potty trained and still require naps! I still maintain that forcing a child to attend school at this age is a huge disservice. Age 5 is the minimum in the states for Kindergarten, and Kindergarten is not even mandatory in some of the states. It's optional, but most parents do send their child to Kindergarten at age 5. But if a child is emotionally or socially not ready, why add more trauma?

Lucy - posted on 06/27/2010

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Jen, I live in England, and have not had to send my daughter to school at 3! She starts in January, and was 4 in May. That's early enough for me!

Lucy - posted on 06/27/2010

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No, don't pressure him!

In the UK children go to school into reception class (what is called Kindergarten in the US) the September or January after they are 4. I think this is pretty early, although I feel confident my daughter will be ready when she starts in January, some kids just take a while longer to be ready. Sometimes schools will be happy to allow half days, or one or two days a week at the child's pre school setting for a term or two, if the child is having trouble settling.

I guess what i am trying to say, is that if you have the choice not to send him yet, and he clearly isn't ready, then why rush it?

If you push it, you risk putting your son off the idea of school completely.

[deleted account]

Are we talking about preschool or Kindergarten? Is he clsoer to age 4 or age 5? Every child matures differently and he simply may not be mature or ready for school. Besides, why do you WANT him to go to school already? Is it on a part time or full time basis? Do you need to return to work or just want to get rid of him for the day? If you pressure a child this young to go to school, you will be setting himself up for hating school forever. Think about your motives & reasons. Is it a few hours for socialization and learning? There is nothing wrong with 2-3 hours a day, a few times a week as an introduction to Kindergarten and school readiness. But to force and pressure, as you indicate, sounds like poor parenting IMO.

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