Do you believe in milestones?????????

Dora - posted on 05/11/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )




When I was a first time mom, I read all the books, did my research on line, asked friends and family many questions. I notice that I was always stressed out with my 1st little cutie because I was never 100% sure if he was developing accordingly. Well when my 2nd little cutie pie came a long I threw out all that crap about milestones. To me all of it was crap. Even though my 1st son never met any of the milestones when he was supposed, he is now turning 4yrs old and above his age group when it comes to reading, writing, comprehension, figuring things out, etc...... Every child is different and should never be sized up against the so called milestone chart. For example with my 1st son he only said mamma and dadda for almost the first 2yrs of his life. As soon as he turned 2yrs old he just talked up a storm. He didn't roll over until he was well into his 5th month of life. He also didn't start walking until he was 14 months old and Im talking about just starting to walk where he was holding onto everything. Now we can't stop him from running. He never like playing with other children until this year when he turned 3yrs old. He wouldn't even parallel play before the age of 3. I drove myself nuts wondering if there was something developmentally wrong with him. Well guess what he is completely fine. Now when one of my friends tell me they are concerned about their child's development because they are not meeting the milestones, I tell them not to sweat it because every child is different.


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Amanda - posted on 05/11/2012




Neither of my kids did everything they were supposed to do when they were supposed to do it. It didn't really bother me.
My son never rolled. He would do a sit up to get himself upright and move from there. He crawled at 8 months and walked at 11 months, but wasn't saying more than a few words till after he turned 2.
My daughter was a lazy baby. She was 10 1/2 months before she even attempted to start trying to crawl and 14 months before she was walking round furniture, but she was talking in full sentences and was starting to resight her abc's at 15 months.

I defeinately believe every child is different and we would make things so much easier on ourselves if we stopped comparing our children to others and worrying ourselves about what the book says they are supposed to be doing.

Brittney - posted on 05/11/2012




No not anymore, I'm a first time mom of an 18 month old girl and I did read a few books about development and all that. Ruby was reaching milestones not for her age. Like when she said her first word...she said hi at 4 months, at first I thought she didn't mean to say it, but I asked her 'what did you say?' and she said in a low whisper 'hi'. She said it at least a dozen times until she got mama and dada in the list too. She was rolling over since she came home from the hospital, but rolled over meaning to at 4 months (I somehow managed to get it on tape). She sat up at 5 months and walked at 11 months. The doctor is amazed at her development but the thing is children reach them as they are able to. Ruby is never around kids her own age, so she pokes them in the eye, she cannot jump with both feet off the ground, and she doesn't always do things I want her to (like stacking blocks or saying her ABCs or numbers.)

Lady Heather - posted on 05/11/2012




A milestone to me is a guideline and if they don't meet them all it means is that you should make sure there isn't anything wrong. My older daughter only started crawling at 17 months and didn't walk until 21 months. And she is fine! But I still had her checked out and monitored just in case when she hadn't yet tried to move at a year old. I think there is a healthy medium between competing over the fastest kid and entirely ignoring developmental milestones. The guidelines exist for a reason. Unfortunately some mums get on their high horse about how "advanced" their kids are and others worry too much when their little ones dont do everything right on time.

Kelina - posted on 05/11/2012




I like to think of milestones as things our kids will do eventually rather than certain times they are supposed to do certain things. The nurses were all concerned that my son wasn't talking by the age of two. So we had him evaluated by the local speech therapist. What a boost to the ego to ahve him tell us the reason our son wasn't talking was we were simply too good of parents! We always knew what he wanted so he didn't feel the need to talk. He suddenly started talking right before his third birthday. He was also a late walker, he waited until almost 18 months before he started walking unassisted. I'd have loved it if he were walking earlier he was so heavy! and I've never even bothered looking at the whole parallel play or anyhting like that. We're all different. The fact that he socializes at all thrills me because I was so shy and he obviously is not. My daughter too hasn't met her milestones "on time" but 'd rather she met them at her own pace than mine!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/11/2012




and that is the best advice you could ever give your friends, Dora.

Hopefully it will keep other mothers from pushing their kids to do things on Mom's schedule, rather than kiddo's.

Each child is different, each develops differently, and shows that development differently. The fun thing is that it doesn't change as they get older. Each kid is STILL different, and showing different behavioral and developmental signs even as teens, and each should still be dealt with as an individual.

Good on you for seeing that so quickly and not letting yourself stress about "milestones"

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