Do you differentiate between your adopted child in comparison of your own?

Laurie - posted on 10/04/2013 ( 14 moms have responded )

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It really seems very common, parents generally tends and bends towards their own child in respect of an adopted one.

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Angela - posted on 10/07/2013

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I don't know about this - I tend to feel that some parents may well favour their adopted children over their own in order to make them feel they belong properly. I have 4 biological children (all grown up now) and don't have any adopted children at all but I think that if I did, I might just be a bit harder & stricter with my bio kids and possibly be more easy-going with adopted kids, give them the benefit of the doubt in a dispute etc ...

A friend of mine married a lady who had one infant son to a previous partner. She had another 2 children to him and all 3 kids were fairly close in age. Discussing it with someone one day, the other person said to me "Yeah, the oldest one isn't his and he tries to compensate too much ......

Sarah - posted on 10/06/2013

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I would agree with others with the fact that you have no evidence. And just looking for stories. I grew up in a family with 2 bio. sibs. and 3 adopted sibs. We all considered each other brothers and sisters there WAS AND IS NO DIFFERENCE!!!! We are a family and as a family we love each other NO DIFFERENT!!! I also work in adoption for the last 15 years. I have yet to see a family that treats an adopted child less then a bio child. I would suggest talking to those who have been adopted before making statements about them.

Glenda - posted on 10/06/2013

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One of my sisters has adopted two children they have two biological already. I have observed over the last couple of years that they do treat the adopted children different. Sometimes I want to cry for them. I feel that in my sisters eyes her children can do no wrong we're the adopted ones are liars. It is very sad and other family members have observed the same things as I. We have tried to talk to my sister but she says we don't understand, and she is doing the best she can.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/04/2013

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If you have no factual evidence other than a few poor examples that you've seen, then you have nothing to support your theory that an adopted child amoungst biological children is treated differently.

In MY experience with my friends who have both bio and adopted children, the adopted ones are treated with just as much love and attention as the bio kids, as they should be. Perhaps the ones that you've seen adopted for the wrong reasons.

I have a very good friend whose son and daughter in law adopted their firstborn, and then found that they were pregnant. Both of the kids are treated equally, loved (and somewhat spoiled) equally, given the same opportunities in regards to extra curricular activities...You name it, they both get treated the same. I have another good friend who adopted after having several biological children, and the adoptee actually gets spoilt by the entire family (kids included), because she was so wanted by this family.

So really, what seems common to you is actually uncommon in my experience.

As Jodi says, unless you have solid evidence that is not anecdotal, you have no claim to make.

Jodi - posted on 10/04/2013

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No, I am asking for some evidence OTHER than anecdotal. There is actually no clear evidence of what you claim. I am not even sure of the point of your post.

Laurie - posted on 10/04/2013

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You can watch with some very common activities like sharing limited food items, putting effort on their studies, if both make same mistake, the one who is adopted is scolded more than own. There are many more........
It really seems bad really really bad.

Laurie - posted on 10/04/2013

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Gone through your article. Quite good!
Adopting a child in this cruel world is really a great kindness. But what I watch is the parents who don't have their own child and have only adopted one, cares a lot. Really..... and too much. But those parents who have their own and an adopted one. They generally bends towards their own. Even they don't do intentionally.

Jodi - posted on 10/04/2013

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I am not denying it happens sometimes, but claiming it is the most common thing is quite a claim. Do you have evidence to back you up on that one?

Laurie - posted on 10/04/2013

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This is the most common thing not even me not even you consider actually. But, it happens. I just want to know, why so..........
Even no one want to do so but it happens.

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