Do you think this is wrong??

Carissa - posted on 07/20/2009 ( 83 moms have responded )

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When my son was a couple months old his doctor told me he had asthma so I never let anyone smoke around him. He is a year and a half now and I think he outgrew his asthma but I still dont let people smoke around him it irritates me sooo bad. My question is, is it rude of me to expect people not to smoke around him in their own home?

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Jessica - posted on 06/03/2011

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not at all! I told my MIL.. if you are expecting us [please don't smoke iny our home, or else we wont be coming over. and my daughter doesnt even have asthma. and I was a smoker at the time!

Kelli - posted on 07/26/2009

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Not at all! Your childs health is the most important thing even if smokers get offended.

[deleted account]

no it is not wrong but tell them before you go over and make sure they are okay with it. i cant be by smoke at all. so i cant even stay at my sons house for more than 15 minutes cause he smokes inside. watch you son and make sure he doesnt have my so easy irritated system.

Toni - posted on 07/26/2009

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Everyone in my family know not to smoke around my child. She is 7 and not asthmatic. I just don't want her to inhale carcinogenic fumes or to smell of an ashtray.
My ex MiL is a heavy smoker and promised all through my pregnancy that she would quit (not that I asked her too, just not to smoke in the same room as the baby). Then when my DD was born that she would quit. It's been going on and on ever since. She knows not to smoke around my DD but Mia, who's now 7, tells me that she has now started coughing deliberately if her gran lights a cigarette near her and tells her it makes her cough and smells horrible. I haven't told her to say these things, that's my own DD's words....lol.
I remember when my DD was a baby and she used to go to her grans for a couple of hours, she would come back smelling of stale smoke even though her gran hadn't smoked around her, the odour had rubbed off her clothes, hair and skin and onto my baby when she cuddled her. It's the worse ever smell to inhale from a sweet, clean beautiful baby. I would bathe her, change her and have her smelling sweet again as soon as I could. It's a shame because my Ex MiL is a wonderful grandmother, but she's already had 3 mini strokes due to smoking :/

Lindsay - posted on 07/26/2009

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i agree i think even people in their own hime could have the decenty to go outside, or at least in another room, i mean were talking about the health of a baby for god sake what kind of selfish person would smoke round a child and if the grandparents or other family smoke you cant always avoid being round people who do it. I could understand people saying, well if you smoked, you'd feel different, but i used to be a heavy smoker before i tried for dex and even in my own home i never smoked round ANYONE not just children, i would have been ashmed of myself if i did, its selfish.

[deleted account]

We don't really take our kids anywhere we know someone will be smoking, but my in-law's smoke, so it's tough. They are outside, tho, when they're smoking. We have said something about it when the kids are... say... sitting on their laps and they're smoking. Usually someone can respect that, especially when the kid's sick.

[deleted account]

Absolutely not! I would just make sure you let people know before you come over and if they don't agree, don't go to their home. You need to protect your child. That should be your first priority, not worrying about hurting people's feelings.

Kerrie - posted on 07/25/2009

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Are you kidding??? Who cares if it is someone else's home, it is the HEALTH of your child that is more important. If the person who is smoking can not understand that, then I would re-evaluate the relationship and ask yourself if it is worth putting your child in harms way for that person. If it is a family member and they don't understand, then I guess you can visit them at your house or on their front porch. In my opinion, your child's health and wellbeing FAR OUTWEIGHS someone's bad habit.

Nicole - posted on 07/25/2009

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Not at all. Granted, I am so adamantly against smoking I won't go to people's houses that smoke indoors. Even if they aren't smoking at the time, there are still so many poisons in the air and on the furniture that go straight to you and your baby. Totally not worth subjecting your baby to.

Lindsay - posted on 07/25/2009

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i thought thats whats she's saying? doi have the right to not let people do it round my baby

Alicia - posted on 07/25/2009

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well don't let people smoke around him , it's nasty! second hand smoke kills and it's a higher risk with a child with asthma ! It is most deffently not wrong , it's wrong to smoke with a baby there and to fill there lungs with tar and whatever else is in them cancer sticks!

Lindsay - posted on 07/25/2009

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i dont think so at all, i used to smoke and gave up when i decided to try and concive. I would have been discusted with myself for smoking round a child, its just plain selfish. I say stick to your guns hun, you dont need to stand for people damaging your little ones health.

Sara - posted on 07/25/2009

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Well, I would say that people should use common sense and not smoke around a baby, but you can't really ask them NOT to in their own home IMO. Perhaps you shouldn't go places where the baby will be exposed?

Bonnie - posted on 07/25/2009

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Whether we want to say they can outgrow asthma or simply stop showing symptoms, medically-speaking, they're the same thing. It is what it is. Check out the following site: http://www.netwellness.org/question.cfm/...

As for smoking, my father loves to babysit his grandson. Unfortunately, he and my step-mother smoke, and whether they smoke inside or outside, it's on their clothes, on the furniture, and hands. I hate it, and I want my parents to be part of my baby's life. Unfortunately, I had to make it clear that I would not be bringing him over unless they stopped at least smoking in the house. They agreed, but I have to monitor the situation. However, the choice is mine. I can either choose to bring him over or not bring him over. I can't tell my parents what to do, I can give them their own choice.

[deleted account]

I would not ask people not to smoke in their own homes but would just not visit smoker's houses...

That has gotten me through 10 years :)

Mel - posted on 07/25/2009

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we also have to rule over here in GB that when work men come round to do something in your own home, such as fix a boiler ect. you are told not to have a cigarette for an hour before they come!! and you are not allowed to smoke while they are here otherwise they will just leave and the work will not be done.

for every cigarette someone smokes near your child, your child breaths that same one for an hour!!!!!!!

and same for adults if someone lit up infront of me i think its rude and discusting.

i was a smoker years ago as a teenager but never smoked near anyone unless they were smoking and i think smoking in a house is discusting as the smell lingures and the walls go a nasty shade of yellow.

you shouldn't take your kids round to a smokers house

do you want them to have a higher chance of developing lung cancer???

my dad smokes but he has already started smoking outside his own home so i can come visit when baby arrives in 3 months!

[deleted account]

I think thats a reasonable request. Most people would oblige I would think. If not, then you know thats not a place you can visit.

Denise - posted on 07/25/2009

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No with scientific health risks, i thnk you have every right, and that me who is a smoker, just need to quit though! with the laws in great britain to ban smoking from all public places, i think every country should do it, it will help those people like me to quit once and for all, and that shoud include peoples homes too

Barbara - posted on 07/24/2009

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No it is not, if you are a guest in they’re home they should be respectful of what you ask you are only there on a visit and that would be the courteous thing to do. I feel the same way I am not a fan of smoke. It is very unhealthy. I do not take my 2 year old around any one that smokes you can best believe that the people I go visit know that and understand that and if they didn’t I guess that would be a visit missed. I am my daughter eyes ears and mouth. It was nice of God to hand her to me so I will do right by her.

Chera - posted on 07/24/2009

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If it were someone that new how I felt like a grandma or close relative, I would expect them to be considerate. If they didn't I would just try not to bring my child over to their home until it was discussed further w/ them. Now distant friends would be a little different. I would just try not to bring my child around them when they smoke.

Alica - posted on 07/24/2009

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I am a former smoker, but when I was smoking, I had a friend whose children had asthma. She kindly asked me to smoke outside when she visited, and that didn't bother me at all!!! Even though it was my home, if it made the children sick, and all I had to do was step outside for a cig, for the hour or so that they were there, then I didn't see the problem!! I would just kindly explain the situation to the folks and see how it plays out. :) BTW...I have been smoke free for nearly 3 years now!!! Just wanted to share!!

Amy - posted on 07/24/2009

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I wouldn't take my son into that environment. I learned after years of tolerating my family at Christmas that it just wasn't worth it. People who smoke around kids just don't get the damage that they do to them and you asking them not to will just offend them. Get a babysitter or don't go to their homes.

Rhonda - posted on 07/24/2009

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No it is absolutely the right thing to do! We didn't visit my inlaws with our kids for almost 2 years because of excessive smoke. My sister in law told her parents straight out why we weren't coming over, and they now smoke outside. Everyone knows by now that second hand smoke kills; and a childs health should be everyones first priority.

Melissa - posted on 07/23/2009

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I never allow people to smoke around my 3 year old and 1 year old. Actually funny story, my son was watching tv, and looked at me and said "mommy i can't believe it!" I asked him what and he said "that lady is smoking inside her house, she isn't allowed to do that" lol! He has grown to believe smoking is only done outside. Neither me or my huband smoke at all but a few friends and my brother smoke, but always outside!

Hailey - posted on 07/23/2009

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I WOULD JUST MAKE SURE MY CHILD WAS IN A DIFFERENT AREA OF THEIR HOUSE WHILE SMOKING IS TAKING PLACE

Tara - posted on 07/23/2009

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No I don't think it is. You have a right to try to protect your son's health. If someone refuses to not smoke around your son, I would suggest not taking him to their home, and having them only visit in your home where you can enforce them not smoking.

[deleted account]

I dont think it's unreasonable but agree you cant tell others what to do in their own home. I think it's a shame that it doesn't occur to them not to smoke around kids.

Barbara - posted on 07/23/2009

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One thing I have learned in all my years is that you cannot control other people or change them. All you can do is change your reactions to them. It is their home and they have a perfect right to smoke in it if they choose. You have a right not to take your child where there will be smoking. If it is close family like parents, siblings, etc. I would choose a time when there aren't a lot of people around and approach them with the information that smoking around the son causes him distress but I wouldn't ask them not to light up in their home. If they chose to do that after you informed them, then I would politely cut my visit short and take my little boy home. From then on I would make a point to invite them to my house rather than go to theirs.

Sandy - posted on 07/23/2009

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What people do in their homes is their business. I do not smoke and do not take my kids to friends/family who smole. If I amat my parents who both smoke, I take the kids outside and eventually they get it. My parents bought a hepa air filter and they sit in a certain room with it while my kids are there.

Ashlee - posted on 07/22/2009

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I have a 8 month old and where he is so young i dont want anyone smoking around him its hard on their lungs...when i am invited to someones house i ask if they smok in their house and if they do if they would mind not doing so while i am there with the baby if they have a problem with that i invite them to my house...some people find it rude but i look at as i am looking out for my child...

Leasa - posted on 07/22/2009

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Tough call... I would probably say something to the people I felt closer to and not say anything to the ones I really don't know and just keep the visit short...

Alexis - posted on 07/22/2009

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If someone invites you into their home, they should have the common courtesy not to smoke around your child. it is in no way unacceptable to expect people in public not to smoke around children. i smoke, but not around my child. i don't allow other people to do so either.

Diana - posted on 07/22/2009

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No, there is nothing wrong with it...my children also outgrew their asthma (4,5,15) and still no one smokes in our house...even their dad has to smoke outside

Leigh - posted on 07/21/2009

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Nope, your doing a great job. Keeping your son healthy & keeping his environment healthy because of asthma is your right, I could careless where you are, even if it's not in you own home. I've smoked off & on over the years, so has my husband, never smoked around our kids, never allowed anyone else to smoke around them, always spoke up. So happy that we now have these new laws to stop smoking around kids, especially the park ones, still not happy that most pubs 'smoking areas', are right next to the playground!! Keep at it Carissa.

Jan - posted on 07/21/2009

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You could respectfully request they refrain from smoking when you and your little one are at their homes. But, it is their home and they do have the right to smoke there if they please.



With that said, whether or not they smoke in the house while he is there, he still can have problems. The smoke will be trapped in the furniture, drapery, carpeting, bedding, etc. The same goes for cars; the smoke stays in the seats and carpeting. That is why smokers homes have that musky, smoky smell - kind of like a bar.



Also, your son will not out grow asthma. He may have a mild case, but he will always be asthmatic.

Stefany - posted on 07/21/2009

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it is rude to expect it. you can ask and give your reasons as to why you would like that. but people are going to do what they want in their own home. on that note, i go outside my own house to smoke and expect my smoker friends to do the same , and they do. depends on how nice your friends are. good luck!!

Lawrence - posted on 07/21/2009

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Hopefully people would understand your reques to keep your child safe from secondhand smoke which has been scientifically proven to cause harm. I am carry for an elderly parent who has lund disease from secondhand smoke exposure at 85 it is not fun. It's all in the delievery

Hope this helps

[deleted account]

No its not rude its your baby so you have a right to not what anyone to smoke around him! I smoke but have 3 grandsons and i don't ever smoke in front of them.

Carissa - posted on 07/21/2009

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First off let me just say how much everybody is helping. I dont think anybodys comments are harsh at all, and I respect EVERYONES opinion on here. So thank you! BTW Im not closing this post I just wanted to thank everyone I still want to hear other ppls opinions!

Nicole - posted on 07/21/2009

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My father-in-law smokes like a chimmeny, so does my husband.All my children suffer from asthma. i have never asked him to go outside and smoke. He just does. MHusband DOES NOT smoke around our kids either. People who smoke should have respect for others that don't smoke. Just take your kids away from those who do smoke.. Or do what I do and not visit them as often.. They soon take the hint.

[deleted account]

People can do as they wish in their own home. If you are worried about taking your son to their homes because of his astma, tell them. I'm sure most people would rather go outside while you visit than have you stop visiting. If they don't like it, don't go to their home.

Sara - posted on 07/21/2009

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I don't think that you can expect people to change their personal habits in their space, but you can control where you take your child.

[deleted account]

not at all my son was told that he had asthma as well, but i smoked during my pregnancy. Once my son was born we told every one no smoking around him and if there did want to smoke outside and wash your hands afterwards my friend respect me for that he is now 3 1/2 and his asthma has gone away over the years

User - posted on 07/21/2009

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What I do Is when they light up I take the kids outside or in another room. You can still say he cant be around it they will never know the diff.

Laurel - posted on 07/21/2009

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i totally agree. i would never let anyone smoke around me or my daughter. It's terrible for them. If the people who are smoking cant respect that then just remove your son from the situation. He doesn't need to suffer because of other people being inconsiderate. Either ask them to not smoke around your son or just take him away from it. Either way, you have to protect him. He can't do it himself.

User - posted on 07/21/2009

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If you have friends that smoke in their house then ask them if they would mind smoking outside if you came to visit, although I think tests have shown the smoke stays in the air for ages even when you can't see it or smell it. If they say no then ask them to visit you at your house where I presume it is smoke free. I stopped smoking inside when I had my first and encouraged all my friends to do the same it works out really well no more stinky house and yellow walls and nonsmokers don't have to worry about visiting.

Abby - posted on 07/21/2009

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if u dont want them to smoke round him, why not get them to come to you then there wont be a problem. i dont allow people to smoke around cam, but if it was in their house there's not much u can do!

my mil smokes but she does it outside so no worries there, same with bil and sil!

i dont agree with anyone smoking in front of children

Lucy - posted on 07/21/2009

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not at all if any one lit up around my son id tell them straight away to put it out

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