Do you think watching porn is a form of cheating? (if one person is doing it)

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Calandra - posted on 08/14/2009

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No I don't think it is. It gives yourself or your husband a way to visualize what he can do to you without going outside of the marriage with someone else. It's always better to try to be supportive about it and ask to join him, then who knows you'll be having a day of love making. Men like there woman to be open to new things...especially if they haven't tried it.

KEESHA - posted on 08/13/2009

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Porn is adultry if your are in a relationship and it is fornication if you are single. I am a Christian why would I watch or would support my husband watching strangers have sex for our amusement. Marriage is building blocks and we should learn how to be sexy enough for one another.



Often we think we know what our partners can handle when we do not know what we can handle ourselves....



Adultry according to the word of God is not only touching but the thought of it as well. Porno is also fictive play for those whose are watching and not touching and this behavior can lead to an addiction which will affect the household (your sons and daughters, etc...).





This is my suggestions so that one may study/research



If you are a Christian then please refer to the bible and or a bible concordance....if you are beleive you are a Christian please refer to the bible concordance....if you are not a Christain I would suggest that you cross reference the dictionary with the bible and a bible concordance.



As for as recording yourself pray on that as well as that may lead to other things that are not in alignment wit h the word.



If we are afraid of losing our spouses;therefore, allow them to have their way, we need to spend more time with God and ask for His direction as disernment or even Christian guidance is always useful.

User - posted on 08/13/2009

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Hi,

I have to tell you up front that I'm a Christian so that you can understand how I come to the answer to this question. Christ says, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."



Those are not my words but are the words of Jesus Christ; who is the Saviour. It is very important that we guard our minds, hearts, eyes and even guard against things that are not appropriate to listen to.



Pornography is a sin that is not pleasing to the Father. I hope this helps.



Sheila_D

J1974 - posted on 06/14/2012

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yes. I am wired that way. If that person is going to porn to become sexually aroused instead of coming to their spouse yes it is emotional betrayal

Samantha - posted on 08/12/2009

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Quoting Katrina:

YES! It is still lusting after other women which The Lord States is cheating and wrong, that the person doing so should poke their eyes out. Yes extreme and old for these times but it truly is wrong!


 



It's not necessarily lusting after that specific woman.  Majority of the time, it's merely just watching the act being performed.  What about when there is a man in the porn with the woman, would you consider your husband lusting after him?  I doubt he would.  He's watching the act being performed and a lot of times he's imagining it being his significant other and himself.  Is it cheating?  Not at all.

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User - posted on 08/14/2009

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NO WAY! It's natural for a people to be selfish once in awhile and see a little somethin' he/she may not see at home. The problem is when your sex life with each other changes as a result. Just be honest with yourself and with your partner.

Tiffanie - posted on 08/14/2009

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Yes, but you could see if your husband will watch it with you. That wouldn't be cheating.

Stacey - posted on 08/14/2009

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It is not for me but hey if someone wants to watch let them watch. It is cheating when they are doing the action with someone else. But if it bothers you then you need to talk to your partner and let them know how you feel about it. When my husband and i first married his friends wanted to take him to the "titty bar", I was fairly flat and said "Go ahead that is the only way you will see big boobs" My comment turned my husband off and never went. I trust him and if you are in a relationship you need trust.

[deleted account]

I personally don't care for porn and neither does my husband. But that's a personal choice that works for US. I don't think it's cheating as long as it isn't something hidden from the other person in the relationship. To each his own I say.

Lorraine - posted on 08/14/2009

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OF COURSE ITS NOT!! Man are just from another planet remember, They just need a visual stimulant thats it plain and simple,just chile out its all good. XX

Kerry - posted on 08/14/2009

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In my opinion I think there is nothing wrong with porn...if you both have complete trust with each other and you are both honest about your feelings then there should not be anything to worry about. I can understand that feeling some people must have if they find him/her watching another woman sexually and it must not be nice....if u have that strong feeling then you need to talk to him/her and explain how it makes you feel. But for others its nothing...I watch porn with my boyfriend and it doesnt bother at me at all, he also watches it by him self occasionally but its not a regular thing! I know I pleasure him and I have no worries of him cheating. The one thing you have to remember there is nothing personal in it....the person on the end of the camera has no emotional ties to you bf/husband/partner and you have to take that in to consideration. But again its each to there own and if it bothers you talk to him :)

Tamara - posted on 08/13/2009

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Nope. I work 2nd shift so it'd be darn unrealistic of me to expect him to not do anything while I'm out working. Don't care if he watches porn. Shoot, he might see something that inspires him to try out on me.

Angie - posted on 08/13/2009

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Well to tell you the truth...My husband and I have discussed watching porn together. I am strong GOD believer. So this doesn't make me any less of a christian then if I were to go and steal a dildo...hehehehe. But anyways when I was single, of course I watched porn...that was pretty much the only action I was getting. Also I was looking at those porno people's faces. So I guess there is also a sin. OOPS. Anyways I do eat chocolate and I am very self-destructive....Sharon you should know this by now!!!!!

I do to add a serious note... YES SIN'S ARE NATURAL...It is natural for a man to want other woman....some fight it and some don't

Sharon - posted on 08/13/2009

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Um giving pleasure to yourself is self-destructive?



OMG THROW AWAY THE CHOCOLATE!!!

[deleted account]

Absolutely! An even bigger danger is that it's addictive and can lead to further self-destructive behavior.

Sharon - posted on 08/13/2009

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Quoting Jenn:

This is kind of like (Discovery Channel) Shark Week for Women.......

*show trailer*

Tune in next Wednesday for the beginning of Porn Week on the COM channel.
See their habitats, mating rituals and interactions with other organisms (not orgasms, you pervs) on this week's exciting shows!
You don't want to miss this!!

(same bat time; same bat channel)
;)



lmao when i saw this I had to look up the OTHER question,



original question was about is it ok for your guy to watch porn



new question - is it cheating if only one is watching it....



 



Erin? Is your SO addicted to porn?  Is this an issue in your home?  kidding,



it depends on why my husband is watching porn sort of.



If he were to prefer porn to me - yeah its cheating, if he never wanted to share porn with me - yeah it would be cheating.

Malinda - posted on 08/13/2009

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There is a saying I like: "Cheating is something you do in cards. Lying is something you do in a relationship."



If a partner is *hiding* something, no matter what it is, or something is impacting the intimacy in your relationship, it's a problem. If both parties are honest, open, and have no issues... then why make an issue appear?

Tara - posted on 08/13/2009

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the first question would be.. and it is kinda obvious..is the other person is bothered by it?

I think this kinda subject needs to be openly talked about within the relationship. I personally wouldnt' care if my bf watched it. I like it from time to time.

Is it cheating?? no i dont' think so. he is only watching the tv. it is not like he is Physically there.

in my books cheating is when one person is touching or engaging in sexual acts with another person that is not there gf/bf or wife/husband.

Girl if it bugging u (obviously it is) then u need to discuss this with ur partner b4 it kills the relationship.

best of luck !!

Charlie - posted on 08/13/2009

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i also dont think it is lusting after the women in the movie , when people watch porn NO ONE is looking at their faces , people watch the intercourse and mainly focus on genitals .
i doubt anyone even remembers what the porn stars look like .

Charlie - posted on 08/13/2009

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I dont think it is cheating BUT i do think if the wife is uncomfortable and has expressed her concerns with her husband and he continues to watch porn then it is being disrespectful to her wishes , if he is sneaking of and hiding it there is something wrong and it may be addiction.

Stephanie - posted on 08/13/2009

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I don't feel like its cheating. Because I am a stay at home mom and sometime i am drained from watching the kids, cleaning and cooking i might not be in the mood when he gets home. He can go in the room pop in a porn and have his personal time. Have you ever watched it with him. We have watched it together and even try some of the things with is always fun. But it's not for everyone. At the end of the day if it bothers you talking to him about it would be the best thing to do.

User - posted on 08/13/2009

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I dont think watching it is a form of cheating, but I do think its disrespectful to the partner who dosent watch it and could be hurtful if they found out.

Valissa - posted on 08/12/2009

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i like watching porn with my husband, but i dont really like the idea of him watching it by himself (which he doesn't). but my suggestion is to talk it over with your partner, find common ground.

Amy - posted on 08/12/2009

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Quoting Sam:

I think it depends on the circumstances, if it is done openly and u are ok with it then i think it is ok. If it is done in s clandestine fashion and u have a problem with it then it is wrong. The important hing is that you talk to your partner and set your boundries about what is ok an what is not, getting angry will not help, you need to let him know how you feel about it and why in a rational way that helps him to understand the effect it is having on you. x


 



Totally agree, it's what you (as a couple) decide it is. If you don't like it, you should discuss it and set up bounderies. Both of you should be on the same page.

Michelle - posted on 08/12/2009

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It's not cheating to me! Plus I know that when he's watching it's normally with me or to get ideas for when we're in the bedroom.

Athina - posted on 08/12/2009

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nooo idont think so. i mean even if he get turned on by it theres only one person that can put out the fire and thats not those ""ladys"" lmao if you know what i mean

Angie - posted on 08/12/2009

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Is porn different from just a plain ol' movie from the sex scenes. There are some that just show the passion...do you consider it cheating when you get turned on from it?!?!?!? :)

Athina - posted on 08/12/2009

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You know lately i have this question stuck in my head, i told him that it bothers me and i feel like i dont coplete him in some level but he said that he doesnt cheat on me or anything, he doesnt even fantasize them so i think it doesnt consinder as cheating. still it makes me uncomfy knowing that but hey its better than actually cheat on me so i let him do it, some men just like watching porn and theres nothing we can do about it. i guess i have to learn to live with it.

Beth - posted on 08/12/2009

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I agree with Samantha. When I watch it, I am not imagining myself with the man. I just like watching the act of it being done, and I feel my husband is the same way. Some people have their own beliefs/thoughts and that is fine. To each their own, but I think some people are being naive if they think their husband wouldn't like to watch it.



There are tasteful things out there for women to watch. I prefer soft-porn and so does my hubby. Some of you might like to look into it. It doesn't make you a bad person.

Firebird - posted on 08/12/2009

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In my opinion no it isn't cheating because there is no physical or emotional attachment between the viewer and the pornstars. I personally don't like porn but I've been with men who do. I don't believe it's appropriate for someone to watch porn when their partner is offended by it. Talk to him and explain how it makes you feel. One of my last boyfriends loved porn and I hated it, I told him this but he watched anyways so I gave him the old heave ho because porn became more important to him than I was. But is it cheating? I say no. As for the person who said "It is still lusting after other women which The Lord States is cheating and wrong" I'm not by any means christian but even still just because a man is watching 2 people have sex, it doesn't mean that he is in fact "lusting" after other women.

Sam - posted on 08/12/2009

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I think it depends on the circumstances, if it is done openly and u are ok with it then i think it is ok. If it is done in s clandestine fashion and u have a problem with it then it is wrong. The important hing is that you talk to your partner and set your boundries about what is ok an what is not, getting angry will not help, you need to let him know how you feel about it and why in a rational way that helps him to understand the effect it is having on you. x

[deleted account]

I'm agreeing with the ones that said if your sex life at home is GREAT and it's a VERY occassional thing (like when one of you is out of town, etc...I'd rather have him watch porn then in the ti**y bars) and I'm okay with that (but I'm lucky and my hubby is never out of town on business alone either). BUT...if it's becoming more important to him than you are, then YES, I consider it wrong and cheating. This is one thing we discussed the night before we said our "I do's" and he knew how I felt about it. So after our son was born, and he claimed I was too sore for him anyways (there's always other things than just the 'act')...and he got caught, I packed my bags and left. He finally aplogized and we are obviously still together but it hurt b/c it happened after I had just given birth to OUR son just a month prior. I just wished more married couples (read: men) would just ask their partner and maybe that partner actually would be interested in watching it together (at night, in the bedroom, on occassion). We women might actually like to see tasteful porn too. :-) But it needs to be discussed PRIOR to there ever being a problem so each other knows how the other feels about it so IF it becomes a problem, the hubby shouldn't be surprised when she calls it "cheating" and kicks him out. LOL

Topaz - posted on 08/12/2009

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Quoting Katrina:

YES! It is still lusting after other women which The Lord States is cheating and wrong, that the person doing so should poke their eyes out. Yes extreme and old for these times but it truly is wrong!


i agree... well for the most part.... i believe it is a form of cheating. if your partner prefers to look at someone else other than you there is a problem.....

Janet - posted on 08/12/2009

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If he / she is only watching it at home and not going out say to a hotel and watching with another person, then I don't think anything is wrong with it. It is just TV and harmless. Yes, there are people out there with serious porn addictions that take it too far...we won't go into that now tho as that is a whole other issue. My husband and I watch porn together and it only leads to a more exciting and fullfilling sex life for us. I know we have both watched when the other was not home and we are both fine with that. You are the only one who knows if your relationship is solid and if there is a trust issue or not. Also like others have said...if it bothers you (or him if you're the one watching alone) then you need to discuss it with each other.

Samantha - posted on 08/12/2009

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I believe porn is perfectly fine, unless it's to the point of addiction where he'd rather look at porn than have sex with you. But if everything is good in the sack, then I wouldn't worry about it! But if you just plainly don't like it(which doesn't make you a bitch or anything, some people just don't like the thought of porn). Talk to him and explain to him that you don't like it, if he's a good guy then he should understand! Besides, porn can be very educational in learning new tricks!

Michelle - posted on 08/12/2009

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no i don't think it is cheating...as long as it is not a behavior you have to hide from your spouse or it being used to replace your spouse, i see nothing wrong with it

Lisa - posted on 08/12/2009

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Yes I deaply feel it is, and it sadens me when my husband does, like i'm not go enough to "think" about when needed

Lisa - posted on 08/12/2009

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I don't think so, boys will be boys and it's not like he's jumping through the t.v. screen to be with someone else. As long as my significant other keeps it put away where the kids don't find it, I really don't care. I trust him and I know he would NEVER cheat on me.

Beth - posted on 08/12/2009

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Do you have any interest in watching it with your partner? My husband and I watch it together. We don't mind if either of us watch's it by ourselves, usually when one of us is out of town, but that doesn't happen very often. Maybe your partner would like for you two to watch it together but thinks you would be uncomfortable with it? It has made my sex life much better becasue we get ideas from watching it. Neither of us are perverts we are normal people :-)

Melissa - posted on 08/12/2009

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here's my take. if it bothers you, it bothers you. partners should talk together about where they stand on the issue. i wouldn't mind if my hubby watched porn. i know that he's not fantasizing about other women, or lusting after anyone else. plus, like a previous poster said...i'd rather he watched it than acted on it outside the house! it doesn't bother me...but that's me. if it bothers you, and you personally consider it cheating, then yes! it's cheating! it all depends on your take on the issue.

Katarina - posted on 08/12/2009

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I don't find anything wrong with it. Even while we're were dating he watched it. I find as long as he's open and honest then we don't have a problem. While I was pregnant I encouraged it beacuse I had no sexual desire whats so ever. He either gets it from a TV screen or from someone else. I choose the screen. Everyone has fantasies and there's nothing that can be done about it.

Crystal - posted on 08/12/2009

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No its not cheating, its only watching tv watching porn with another person other then ur significant other would be cheating. porn is harmless

Katrina - posted on 08/12/2009

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YES! It is still lusting after other women which The Lord States is cheating and wrong, that the person doing so should poke their eyes out. Yes extreme and old for these times but it truly is wrong!

Jane - posted on 08/12/2009

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i think it`s o.k my boyfriend is just looking and not touching.(i also like porn i guess thats why i`m o.k with it)

Candice - posted on 08/12/2009

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this is sucha common question on here, i had to chime in.



if the option is "one person watches porn..by themselves...when they are alone and horny" or "that person goes out and fills that need outside the house"...i'll choose the porn option.



i don't buy that people in relationships who don't watch porn NEVER have fantasies that may or may not involve other people while they are...*cough*..."alone and horny".



also...some people don't watch porn looking at people's faces and bodies, they look at scenarios, or ..*cough*..."body parts".



personally, if it's not an addiction and you have a healthy sex life with your partner, then no, it's not cheating. there's no emotional relationship involved, and the only one touching their body is them and you. i wouldn't worry about it.

~Jennifer - posted on 08/12/2009

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This is kind of like (Discovery Channel) Shark Week for Women.......



*show trailer*



Tune in next Wednesday for the beginning of Porn Week on the COM channel.

See their habitats, mating rituals and interactions with other organisms (not orgasms, you pervs) on this week's exciting shows!

You don't want to miss this!!



(same bat time; same bat channel)

;)

[deleted account]

depends if you are ok with it ... if it bothers you which i assume it does since you wrote this question then yes he shouldnt be doing it, or you shouldn't be if you feel lik eyou are hidding something from him... talk about it our world is SO bombbarded with pron he/she might not think anything of it or maybe he/she would like to share it with the other person ? talkingis th eonly way to solve this but i dont thin they is a universal answer

Angie - posted on 08/12/2009

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Yes! :) I feel like it is wrong for one or the other to watch/visualize another woman/man.

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