Does anyone have any advice on how to stop breastfeeding?

Khristina - posted on 12/10/2009 ( 53 moms have responded )

75

19

5

My daughter is 26 months old. I never intended on breastfeeding my daughter this long and I would like to stop but that does'nt seem to be an option. My daughter has NEVER taken a bottle or binky and now she is to old for those anyway. I am a single mom- I am her only caregiver with the exception of my mother for a short few hours a week. We called them mookies from the start not sure why but thats what she calls them. She is obssessed- and it's not for the nourshment anymore just the comfort. And I love that bonding time with her and am going to have a hard time giving it up. The only way I can get her to sleep at night is by brestfeeding. And she wakes up a lot thoughout the night yet- which i'm not sure if is due to a food allergy but i'm looking into that also. I've tried laying her in her bed after she goes to sleep only for her to wake up 2 hours later and want mookies. If I give them to her she immedatly goes right back to sleep. Since I'm a single mom she sleeps with me in my HUGE bed. She has her side of the bed and I have mine. When were out in public I can usualy distract her when she asks for mookies and get her interests in other things but sometimes I can't and she throws HUGE fits and even sometimes pulls my boobs out. She is really posessive and calls them hers and I correct her and tell her they belong to my body and I share them with her. Sorry this is so long- I would like to stop just cause she doesn't need them anymore and it is getting a little old for me. Do you think I should make her sleep in her own bed- does she wake up in the middle of the night simply because she knows i'm there and it's easy accsess to her mookies?? Just wanted to add that I am very a happy I have kept beastfeeding this long. My daughter talks like she is atleast a 4 year old- her knowledge is also up there around the age of 4-5 and i think that is because of all the colin sorry spelling that she gets in the breastmilk. Also she has only been sick once a very soft stomach flu. I've gotten the swine flu twice now and she didn't even get it. And she wasn't even vaccinated. So i'm happy i've kept it up i'm just getting frustrated and I would love to maybe be able to go out and have a drink sometime..haven't in almost 3 years now.. Has anyone else had any similar issues? What did you do?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Tania - posted on 12/13/2009

108

17

5

Quoting Stephanie:

don't offer, don't refuse....and definitely get her out of your bed!!! also get her used to drinking milk from a cup......this is what I've been told anyway...hope it helps!! Also, the fat content in breastmilk is higher at night, so maybe some whole milk before bedtime would help??


This is incorrect. Breastmilk has lowest fat content overnight and the hightest in the morning.



At any rate, this child should be on whole milk, not 2%. She is not only feeding for comfort, breatmilk continues to provide nutrients throughout the duration of breastfeeding. She is also getting antibodies, which is why she didn't get H1N1 when you did. There are SO many benefits to breastfeeding.



If you want to stop, you just have to stop. She can continue to sleep in your bed, there is no reason to cast her out. It will actually be more comforting to her. Think of the shock it would be to a small child to have two security items taken away at once. Recommending to move her out of your bed is just poor advice. Also, breastfeeding does not cause cavities. Breastmilk is naturally anti-micribial and and it cleanses the mouth as they nurse. Nature has a way of working thses things out.



What I would reccomend, is continue letting her sleep with you. Bring a cup of water to bed with you. When she wakes to nurse, tell her your milk is asleep and offer her a drink of water. Hold her and comfort her. There will be crying. You will have to just get through it.

Rebecca - posted on 12/16/2009

204

17

8

Hi Khristina,

You've gotten a lot of advice -- some of it pretty incorrect (breastfeeding a toddler DOES have many benefits, and she is still receiving nutrition plus antibodies from you, not just comfort), but I agree with several people who said that moving your child to her own bed at the same time you try to wean her is a bad idea. I would focus on night weaning first -- I think you will feel SO much better if you are both sleeping through the night better, and if you are both well-rested, you will both be happier during the day. She will throw fewer tantrums and you will feel calmer and better able to deal with situations that arise. It sounds like she is and has always been a difficult sleeper, and chronic sleep deprivation makes everything worse.

Here is a GREAT article about night-weaning a toddler: http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/a...

You'll probably find that your supply decreases if you stop nursing at night, which will help you reach your ultimate goal of total weaning from the breast. Or, you may decide that you're okay with still nursing a few times during the day, once you're both better-rested at night. I agree that you have to be gentle yet firm about telling your daughter that mookies belong to Mama too, and they aren't available right at that moment.

It sounds like you're frustrated, and when I'm frustrated with my son I find it's harder to be really affectionate and loving, but that's exactly what we both need at that moment to reconnect! My point is, try to give tons of extra hugs and kisses and cuddles as you remove nursing from your lives. You want to do this all gradually to avoid traumatizing her and making the issues worse.

Catalina - posted on 12/16/2009

33

9

3

Rebecca offers great advice via the article and her own insights - I second her viewpoint Khristina. The main thing is that she brought the discussion around to distinguish between weaning and not nursing at night. You may be ready to wean but not nursing at night is a distinct decision apart from weaning. My 19 month old is still nursing (and unlike his older siblings shows no signs of letting go just yet) - BUT, he is weaned from night time nursings unless he has a cold or a fever. Mostly it happened naturally because I never let him fall asleep nursing after 6 months or so of age so he doesn't associate nursing with falling asleep. However, sometimes after a cold he will be a little confused about the night time nursing thing and wants to insist on boob. I am pretty firm in my belief that he does not need it, it's bad for the teeth, tiring for me, and just not something (nursing at night at 19 mos age) I want to make a habit of, so on those occasions I have refused the breast and offered a bottle of water and unlimited snuggling. He throws a huge tantrum, throws the bottle, goes into a rage for awhile and eventually (after about 5 or 10 minutes of this) collapses into a heap, allows the snuggling, drinks the water and goes to sleep. We go back to our routine. This has happened a few times and what got me through it was having already had 2 children and just knowing that your children rage against the machine from time to time and then 15 minutes later are over it and we all carry on just fine. Whatever you do, know that this stage of their lives is short and precious and whether good or bad it will not last.



Oh, one more thing - use a humidifier and do have a bottle of water to offer - she might be thirsty.

Jaime - posted on 12/16/2009

4,427

24

197

Quoting Tania:

The child that was weaned in the manner was 3 years of age. My son is just under 3. We often eat spicy and hot foods. He is bothered by some things that are particularly spicy. Put hot sauce in your kids mouth and see how they react. I mean, it just sounds crazy. It wouldn't even be diluted at all, because it is straight chilis going into the child's mouth. Perhaps not traumatizing, which isn't what I said, but it would have an negative affect on the child.

Again, breastfeeding is comforting and loving and something a child trusts. I would not want to to something so, we'll say dramatic, to get my child off the breast. There are other ways that are more loving and gentle. But, you do to your children what you want. I will give my son the loving care he deserves.


Certainly there are other ways to wean a child off of the breast, but to imply that a parent would be depriving their child of loving care by choosing an unorthadox method is a bit silly.  Putting chilis on one's nipple is not wrong and it won't usually cause harm to the child (I'm certain that the allergy card will get thrown into this soon)....a bit of discomfort if they react to the spicy taste (not all children do) but it is perhaps a cultural method and might better be viewed with a less ethnocentric scope of tolerance.

Priya - posted on 01/14/2014

1

0

0

I felt like you were describing my child and my experiences.. my kid is 26 months to day today.. I started stopping yesterday by outting on band aid and telling her that I got awwie on my nipples! she bought it and didn't even fuss! for the first time I have hope that this time I will be able to stop!

53 Comments

View replies by

User - posted on 07/16/2014

1

0

0

My daughter was pushing 4 when we stopped...and I never intended to go that long! I wanted to make it to a year. At 4 months, I was begging to make it to 6 months. Once she started eating solid food, it got better. So, a year came easily. But then, after 2 years, I was more than ready to stop. It was only for comfort and mostly a bedtime ritual. The bonding was hard to give up, but, I more worried about her at 3 1/2. She showed no signs of giving it up, but it was time. I really only had minimal milk at that point.Sometimes none. So, I pointed that out to her. I said that it was that time to move on from it. Ugh. Still makes me sad. You do lose a special bonding activity. She still brings it up and we talk about it being a special time and we are glad we had it. If she had her way, it would still happen. I guess all kids are different. She never had the 'enough' moment. But, it wasn't traumatic. Sad. But not scarring. I think it just needs to be gently explained that there are times for everything and the time for this has come to an end. I suppose if you find a new tradition, and explain that now it's time for 'x', it could help the transition. Good luck to all.

Khristina - posted on 12/12/2013

75

19

5

Carol.. I am very sorry to hear that one of your children has gone to heaven to be with Jesus. I just could not imagine what that would be like. I realize this post was from 4 years ago and that people in the medical community have done more research and learned more things about breastfeeding. I received my associates degree in medical specialties before my first child was ever born. I have continued a couple more years into nursing school since then I'm about 3/4th's of the way done with my RN. We have learned so much in school on breast milks nutritional value. The older your child gets the milk become more nutritional with more antibodies and germ fighting qualities. Its funny how things change with each additional baby... this 2nd time around I don't worry to much. I cherish those breastfeeding moments and times where he wakes up and calls my name. I have done some photo shoots where I breastfeed him in public. He is 35 lbs and a very big boy. 99% of height and for weight so he is evened out. He is just built!!! But, what I'm trying to say is that he looks so much older than 19 months and those pics are starting to cause quite a controversy. Don't want to get onto that subject :) We live in a very small apartment now. My daughter started kindergarten early which is a whole another topic.. BUT that just shows how she benefited from the extended time breastfeeding. All the extra DHA for brain development. She just turned 6 and is in 1st grade- she is the youngest by far in her class but the smartest. I am hoping my son catches up- he is defiantly a true boy and ahead in all other physical ways but normal in speech. I have moved on from topics like this bothering me- to now trying to spread carseat awareness, on how many common mistakes parents are making. I had a friend who turned her son to rear facing right at a year and they were rear ended and his neck snapped. He is now dead. I am trying to spread the awareness on keeping your child rear facing until 3 or older. Another thing us Americans are behind on- cause in other countries there seats go to 40-50lbs rear facing. I just found a seat that goes up to 40 lbs and 40 inches for $80. Thank you all for your advice!!! It means so much to me that you took the time. Merry Christmas and may Jesus fill your hearts with so much joy this holiday season!!! It is tough being a single mom- my ex husband- my daughters dad is in Afghanistan. But even when he is state side she has only seen him 6 times in 6 years. My sons father was abusive, so he is not allowed around at all. My parents help out very little cause they both work so much. I was working full time and going to school full time- but little guy would not take a bottle EVER..he started the throwing up thing at the sitters so I decided to try to do the stay at home thing for as long as God would allow. So far it has been a huge blessing!!!

Khristina - posted on 12/12/2013

75

19

5

It was so nice to read this again!!! I do agree that getting my child to sleep in his own bed would help. My daughter is now 6 and she is still a horrible sleeper. She still wakes up a couple times each night. She sleeps in her own bed in her own room now but she still wakes up. This is what I posted on any comment..i will copy and paste. "we ended up stopping about a month after this post. I went out and got my nipples pierced and that ended that!!! Now I sit here on the couch with my 19 month old son attached to my boob. We have the same issue again. I am thinking we will go till 24 months min then think about stopping." My daughter talked a ton and seemed to understand more- she started preschool right after we weaned so it all worked out well for us. My son is another story- He sleeps with me- and wakes up ALOT- but he has food allergies and tummy troubles a lot so I know it's from pain and he needs comfort. He is a very hyperactive ornery stubborn child. He is way way more suborn then my daughter was- so maybe we will nurse longer if he chooses. I am a lot more OK with it this time around. Cause in public he does not rip them our like my daughter did. It's when were at home and he is sleepy or needs comfort. I NEED THAT TOO! I am now a single mom of 2 kids and I am not working right now- I am home with him all day and night- so our nursing time is our calm and peaceful time that we need to have. I have tried to get to him sleep in other ways- singing has worked maybe 2 times out of 50. Nothing else works. He is 35 lbs and is very hard for me to carry around. He won't lay down to let me rock- he wants to run all the time. I have been told to try Melatonin. I am ok with him staying with me right now. I have gotten so used to sleeping with a child that I don't think I would sleep well without him. I have no boyfriend or anyone..so it seems fine to me. I think we will wait until he stops nursing to put him into his own bed. I have tried to put him on the lower bunk of his sisters bunk beds and he is ok for maybe 30 seconds. He does this thing where if he screams for to long he projectile vomits all over until I hold him. He has done this since about 9 months- so it has made it hard all along to get him to sleep in his crib- I have tired time and time again and it was so stressful and frustrating that it was so much easier just to give in and hold him and nurse him. Thanks for all your replies over the years- I have not got caught up on here in a while :) Thanks!!!! Khristina

Khristina - posted on 12/12/2013

75

19

5

This made me laugh.. we ended up stopping about a month after this post. I went out and got my nipples pierced and that ended that!!! Now I sit here on the couch with my 19 month old son attached to my boob. We have the same issue again. I am thinking we will go till 24 months min then think about stopping.

Tina - posted on 11/27/2013

74

11

3

You should replace those times with food for her gradually and work her out of the breast feeding that way. If she talks like a 4year old you should be able to help her understand those times will be special but that she needs to make progress in solid food.

Dawn - posted on 05/21/2013

1

0

0

I truly want to believe my baby will stop when she is ready. For the mothers w babies who stopped on their own can you tell me if your babies had difficulty prior to ultimately losing interest?
I stopped my older daughter a little over a year and she was fine. But my youngest is now 27 months and showing no signs of wanting to stop.
The few times I have tried she freaks out. And it doesn't stop after 15 minutes. She has cried for hours on end. I try walking, rocking, singing, nothing works! She doesn't want comfort from ME only from her "baba's." This saddens me that I can't bring her comfort without nursing.
She wants to nurse any time she is sleepy, sad or just hungry. She doesn't eat a whole lot of food throughout the day. Forcing her to eat food has NEVER worked. She throws it, spits it out, or just clamps her mouth shut. She is extremely stubborn.
I have tried putting bandades on my boobs and even drawing on the bandades w markers to show her my "owies." I did it for a couple of days. My milk supply did not dry up and she seemed tramatized the entire 48 hours so I ended up telling her they had gotten better and let her nurse again.
My other children (I have an older son too who stopped at 3 months cause my milk supply dried up due to working 2 jobs) never had such an obsession w my boobs as my youngest does. She also has night terrors which doesn't help matters any! Because during them she isn't able to successfully latch on even tho she desperately wants to, and she won't fully wake up so she just panics and cries.
My older daughter still has night terrors. And I guess that is a whole other topic.
But once again I ask, for the babies who stopped on their own, were they as obsessed to begin with as my daughter? Cause if so that gives me hope and Iwill just keep nursing until she is ready.

Tania - posted on 12/16/2009

108

17

5

The child that was weaned in the manner was 3 years of age. My son is just under 3. We often eat spicy and hot foods. He is bothered by some things that are particularly spicy. Put hot sauce in your kids mouth and see how they react. I mean, it just sounds crazy. It wouldn't even be diluted at all, because it is straight chilis going into the child's mouth. Perhaps not traumatizing, which isn't what I said, but it would have an negative affect on the child.

Again, breastfeeding is comforting and loving and something a child trusts. I would not want to to something so, we'll say dramatic, to get my child off the breast. There are other ways that are more loving and gentle. But, you do to your children what you want. I will give my son the loving care he deserves.

Jaime - posted on 12/16/2009

4,427

24

197

Quoting Tania:



Quoting Catalina:

Actually, on the subject of putting stuff on your nipples in order to wean. I don't find it appalling at all. There's more than one way to skin a cat. I never needed to do it myself - both my older ones weaned very easily just a don't offer policy and gently distract when asked and in two days that was it. It was kind of sad but I was ready. However, I've seen lots of people go the putting something on the nipples route and it isn't at all traumatic. In Colombia we use aloe. If you cut an aloe leaf in half and rub some of that goo on your nipples they will taste bad, sort of bitter. It is perfectly safe. They just get off and never go back, end of story. I've seen it done and it really was not a big deal. Anyway, if they were to cry or be very upset you could always tell them it was an off day and go back to nursing if you really want - I honestly don't understand the shock expressed here over this method.





You can't see what is wrong with burning your baby's mouth to get them to stop nursing? How about just not offering the breast?? Tell the child your breasts are broken, no longer making milk, etc. How can it not be traumatic? The child equates breastfeeding with comfort, love and bonding. Then to put something like hot peppers on your nipples?! No, that would affect the child in a negative way at all. I am just thankful we all get to raise our own children.





I think perhaps you are overreacting just a bit.  Small children don't have strong tastebuds, and often the sensations that some adults experience when trying spicy food is not the same for infants and toddlers.  Certainly it would still be spicy, but I very much doubt it would be traumatizing.  I'm more inclined to think that the nipples would be red and sore from the hot chilis.

Tania - posted on 12/16/2009

108

17

5

Quoting Catalina:

Actually, on the subject of putting stuff on your nipples in order to wean. I don't find it appalling at all. There's more than one way to skin a cat. I never needed to do it myself - both my older ones weaned very easily just a don't offer policy and gently distract when asked and in two days that was it. It was kind of sad but I was ready. However, I've seen lots of people go the putting something on the nipples route and it isn't at all traumatic. In Colombia we use aloe. If you cut an aloe leaf in half and rub some of that goo on your nipples they will taste bad, sort of bitter. It is perfectly safe. They just get off and never go back, end of story. I've seen it done and it really was not a big deal. Anyway, if they were to cry or be very upset you could always tell them it was an off day and go back to nursing if you really want - I honestly don't understand the shock expressed here over this method.


You can't see what is wrong with burning your baby's mouth to get them to stop nursing? How about just not offering the breast?? Tell the child your breasts are broken, no longer making milk, etc. How can it not be traumatic? The child equates breastfeeding with comfort, love and bonding. Then to put something like hot peppers on your nipples?! No, that would affect the child in a negative way at all. I am just thankful we all get to raise our own children.

Catalina - posted on 12/16/2009

33

9

3

Actually, on the subject of putting stuff on your nipples in order to wean. I don't find it appalling at all. There's more than one way to skin a cat. I never needed to do it myself - both my older ones weaned very easily just a don't offer policy and gently distract when asked and in two days that was it. It was kind of sad but I was ready. However, I've seen lots of people go the putting something on the nipples route and it isn't at all traumatic. In Colombia we use aloe. If you cut an aloe leaf in half and rub some of that goo on your nipples they will taste bad, sort of bitter. It is perfectly safe. They just get off and never go back, end of story. I've seen it done and it really was not a big deal. Anyway, if they were to cry or be very upset you could always tell them it was an off day and go back to nursing if you really want - I honestly don't understand the shock expressed here over this method.

Catalina - posted on 12/16/2009

33

9

3

One thing I have found to be true is however you get your child to sleep in the evening - be that rocking, sitting with them, letting them cry it out, stroller rides, car rides, or nursing - that is the same way they will want to go back to sleep when they wake in the night. If you want to stop breastfeeding at night you will need to begin with her bedtime routine. If you want to go the cry it out route (and there are many different approaches to that) it might be best to start with naptime. How does she go down for naps? Ideally you want to be able to read her a book, brush teeth, give her a hug and a kiss, tuck in and leave. When you achieve that they begin to sleep through the night. Thing is she's pretty old and I doubt it will be easy!! Maybe someone out there has the magic bullet? I sure hope so! Good luck. Nursing is a two way street and if you are ready to quit then by all means start finding ways to ease her off the breast.

Tania - posted on 12/16/2009

108

17

5

Quoting Mai:

hi! we had the same issue of how to stop our kids to breastfed. My daughter is already 3 years and 7 months. She stop when she had her 3rd birthday. what i did was i put a little chili flakes on my nipples but of course not really reccommended but i did. Then when she tasted that, i told her that my nipples were really spicy now and its time for her to stop. Then she understand it and told me that. Mommy i don't like it anymore. She adjusted only for two days then she shifted to a cup. that's it, I'm now comfortable going somewhere with her. Just take your time and soon ur child will understand it.


I really hope you are just trying to start some controversy. This is really inappropriate and you should certainly not be recommending it to other people. I am blown away.

Mai - posted on 12/15/2009

2

26

0

hi! we had the same issue of how to stop our kids to breastfed. My daughter is already 3 years and 7 months. She stop when she had her 3rd birthday. what i did was i put a little chili flakes on my nipples but of course not really reccommended but i did. Then when she tasted that, i told her that my nipples were really spicy now and its time for her to stop. Then she understand it and told me that. Mommy i don't like it anymore. She adjusted only for two days then she shifted to a cup. that's it, I'm now comfortable going somewhere with her. Just take your time and soon ur child will understand it.

Jessica - posted on 12/15/2009

17

0

3

I think you should try giving her a cup with warm milk and hold and cuddle her as if she is still getting mookies. Try explaining that big girls and boys use cups. I wouldn't suggest just making her stop all at once, try a little at a time. Hopefully in a week or two, however long it may take, you will be able to have a drink. I wouldn't take her out of your bed until she is totally comfortable with a cup cause that could possibly be traumatizing for her. Take baby steps. I have watched a friend go through the same thing you are going through now, she has 3 children ages 5 and younger and she has not stopped breast feeding since her first one was born. I hope this really helps.

Felicia - posted on 12/15/2009

1

3

0

i think you should put her in her own bed an go out for a bit and she how she thinks about that..........

Rosalyn - posted on 12/15/2009

32

22

1

I've been told cold cabbage leaves on the breast ceases the flow of breast milk slowly. Also have any other women noticed that if their breasts have been run under cold water for a time they find that their breast milk flow reduces?

Kathy - posted on 12/15/2009

2

12

0

this is what my mom told me to do, my baby is almost 2 months and Im going to breastfeed until shes 3, my back is killing me, and it's very tiering... she told me to pump, and wet to little rags or towels and out them in the sun to dry, do it for a couple of days and ur breast milk will dry up. This is a spanish thing, my mom did it when she wanted to stop breastfeeding me and it worked for her.

Robyn - posted on 12/14/2009

9

15

0

In the same vein as the sports bra/band aid comments - my sister (who doesn't have kids) says that hers are just for show (or just for looking at, or whatever phrase you want to use!), when bubs try and have a go on hers.

Dawn - posted on 12/14/2009

7

2

0

hey, tania i was defensive in my last post because you were condescending and belittling in yours, often times you get what you give.
that's great that you are a student midwife. that's a great thing and i wish you only the best with it. however, as in all fields there are different types of midwives. in my particular case my midwife was absolutely useless and would have been much more suited to the profession of a western medical ob. she was absent in every way, unfortunately something i didn't realize untill we were in the moment. luckily my doula was more present. people can declare quite a bit with a little bit of knowledge, i wish you good luck with your studies.
before i ever had my baby, myself and my peers always dreamed of how our birthing experience would be. home birth, water births, midwives, doulas, and all that would follow it, so the le leche group is a group i have been familiar with for many, many years. when i had my baby and he was having a little trouble latching on i called the revered group i had always heard about, read about and was so excited to finally get the chance to take part in what they had to offer.well, much to my dismay all i got was a run around. try this number, no try that one, a meeting is taking place, no it's been canceled. normally we come out to your house, but not anymore....myself calling, leaving msgs with no return call. luckily myself and my baby figured out what to do and didn't need them after all. for what i needed them for which is the main reason of their existence-helping and/or advising women on the topic of breastfeeding. they were non-existent. suffice it to say my opinion of them went down dramatically. however, i do believe, at least i hope, that i must have caught them at a bad time, low staff or something, because i know that they do have very knowledgeable people there, i just wasn't lucky enough to talk with any of them. i also know that they are very adamant about there views, i believe they think that weaning should never take place, like the kid could nurse till he/she is ten, and they'd be fine with that. so, you know take it all with a grain of salt. so, i can't say i've talked to le leche league people, but i, like you have talked to may others, midwives, doulas, a couple of dentists, and most importantly other mothers. i have heard of similar experiences of the one i had, it's not super common, but it does happen, anti-microbial qualities and all.
i think just a simple thing like giving the baby a sip of water after nursing might be helpful to rinse their mouth out a bit. though that's something i never did, my baby was solely on breastmilk for the first 9 months of his life at which point i started to introduce food, but i know others who have tried that and it seemed to work for them. for those who have a really hard time falling back asleep maybe this isn't for you, but then some swear by waking a baby a little bit to have them fall back asleep on their own, supposedly creating better sleeping habits down the road, though also something i've never tried but has been recomended to me.
when it comes to our kids no one is going to agree 100%, and will argue till they're blue in the face about what is the "right " way. i've been told that parents who co-sleep ought to be arrested for child endangerment because of the potential of rolling over on the baby. ridiculous. hopefully, we all do the best that we can and that's all that we can do.
that's it for me on this topic. there always seem to be people who get off topic and into some sort of debate on these opinions over the internet, i guess i'm one of those now. peace :)

Alicia - posted on 12/14/2009

8

10

0

I had the same problem when I weaned my son from the breast, I read up about it alot and here's what worked for me, I can also add that he also used to wake up every 2 hours to take a sip, and since I weaned him he sleeps through the night without a problem except when he does not feel well.

I started by dropping one feed every 3 days, what I did was put lemon juice on my breasts, so if he asked for it, he didn't like the taste and after trying both breasts he would give up and I would rock him to sleep, it took alot of my sleep away for about 3 weeks, but after that he started sleeping through the night and it was the end of continues night waking and crying about tietie. Good luck!! Hope this helps..

Chinggay - posted on 12/13/2009

29

0

0

Please don't stop breastfeeding your child! Let nature take its course. When your child is ready to let go, then she will. I've breastfeed my kids for 2 & 3.5 years. They just said they don't want anymore. And when they do tell you that, it would hurt (not physically, emotionally). I remember when they told me that, I cried.

Tania - posted on 12/13/2009

108

17

5

Quoting Dawn:

well, tania it's such a good thing we have one as informed as yourself to see us thru.
you don't know where we're getting our information from? where are you getting yours? i'm sure with whatever "information" you might be able to bring forth there would be plenty to refute it. i believe in breastfeeding, if you note i breastfed my kid for almost 4years!! though this can be quite common in other countries it is definitely not the norm in america. i was constantly getting into debates and looks from friends, family, doctors, strangers. it was quite tiring to have to deal with such ignorance on a regular basis.
true, i wasn't a 100% with my son's dental care and i learned a painful lesson that he had to suffer for, though he's just fine now. having said that, there is a natural sugar in breastmilk, taste it, it's sweet! there is also a natural sugar in oj, apple juice etc. would you send your baby to bed with these? ask a pediatric dentist for pete's sake!
khristina, also someone here mentioned not to have her sleep in her own bed and wean her at the same time. i agree, i think that would be too much trauma at one time. one thing at a time. good luck.


Dawn, I am a student midwife, so I do think my information is reliable. I see nothing wrong with you breastfeeding your four year old - I am still breastfeeding my 3 year old. Kudos to you. I think American is seriously lacking in its breastfeeding. We are way behind other countries, as you stated. There is no reason for you to be defensive and condesending to me. I am educated and have talked with Le Leche League members, midwives who are teachers of mine and our dentist. Yes, breastmilk has natural sugars as do juices. However, the two are quite different. Like I said, breastmilk has anti-microbial qualities that cleans the mouth and reduces the amount of cavity causing bacteria. Are you aware of something in fruit juices, that I am not,  that have the same effect? Our dentist said breastmilk *can* cause cavities, however he has only seen it two or three times in over 30 years of practice.



I am just trying to report accurate information. Ingnorace is something we all deal with on a regular basis.

Dawn - posted on 12/13/2009

7

2

0

well, tania it's such a good thing we have one as informed as yourself to see us thru.
you don't know where we're getting our information from? where are you getting yours? i'm sure with whatever "information" you might be able to bring forth there would be plenty to refute it. i believe in breastfeeding, if you note i breastfed my kid for almost 4years!! though this can be quite common in other countries it is definitely not the norm in america. i was constantly getting into debates and looks from friends, family, doctors, strangers. it was quite tiring to have to deal with such ignorance on a regular basis.
true, i wasn't a 100% with my son's dental care and i learned a painful lesson that he had to suffer for, though he's just fine now. having said that, there is a natural sugar in breastmilk, taste it, it's sweet! there is also a natural sugar in oj, apple juice etc. would you send your baby to bed with these? ask a pediatric dentist for pete's sake!
khristina, also someone here mentioned not to have her sleep in her own bed and wean her at the same time. i agree, i think that would be too much trauma at one time. one thing at a time. good luck.

Tania - posted on 12/13/2009

108

17

5

Quoting Dawn:

wow, khristina! that is my story! my son is now 4, and i stopped nursing him when he was 3.5 yrs. slept in the bed with me too, would wake to nurse, never sick, really smart. it was very difficult to get him off the ta-ta's. every now and then he still grabs on and tries to nurse, except i'm not producing anymore, so he just does for a second then tells me that he loves them and that they are beautiful :) .i think after the first 18 months they really are not getting anymore nutritional value, it it solely comfort at that point, which is also important. i would just tell him no, which would be hard to stick to, occasionally would give in and sometimes i would hold out, let him cry and hold him till he fell asleep. eventually he got used to being told no, and from stopping breastfeeding for a few days here and there i think it diminished my production so he wasn't getting as much and he lost interest. i wish you the best, it seems like you can't do it for another day at times, but one day you'll be looking back at this time with fondness. and kudos to you for co-sleeping and nursing as long as you have, it's a beautiful thing.
one last thing, watch the teeth, i never knew that they could get cavities from breast milk , but they can. brush them morning and night. i learned the hard way. my baby had to get two crowns when he was three. pretty awful.


First of all, breastmilk does NOT lose its nutritional value. I don't know where you people are getting your information, but it is incorrect. Doesn't the fact that these children aren't getting sick tell you something? When the mother gets sick, antibodies to that illness are passed through milk. Beyond that, it is designed FOR humans. Do we get nutrients from cows milk? Why would breastmilk suddenly drops its nutrients? It just doesn't make sense.



Second, breastmilk does not cause cavities. Lack of or poor dental care does. Breastmilk actually has anti-microbial properties that cleanse the mouth during feedings. It does not cause cavities. Refer to www.LLLI.org for more information.

Tina - posted on 12/13/2009

74

11

3

I introduced my children to solid food a little at a time, started though when they were 4 mths. old when the teething started, two of my children went from the breast feeding to the cup at about a years time. We had them sleep in their own bed after a year or less . My second two were bigger babies than my first. I am sorry that you are a single mom, it must be very hard . My husband was a great help to me in that transistion time, and he helped with the waiting it out, and discipline time. That is something you should ask your dad about maybe if you can do so and see if he can offer any help or a loved male figure in your family if they can offer help there in the discipline aspects. By two they should be weaned, but I know there is a leage called the "La Leche' leage, and they have toddlers that still breast feed, which for me would be way too late. Get help from some experts and see if they can offer some real advice.

Carol - posted on 12/13/2009

88

0

0

Our babies are only little once! Breastmilk is the best food there is. I nursed both
my daughters till they were 3, and my sons were both 15 months. Had to wean
the older boy because I was already pregnant again and didn't feel strong enough
to provide for 2 at once any longer. But the younger son weaned himself at 15
months. Babies are all different. I had to make my older daughter stop nursing
during the night because I had had surgery and couldn't recover without enough
sleep. I just went to her when she called in the night and offered a cup, not
nursing, and she would just whimper a bit and go back to sleep. After 3 nights,
she stopped waking up. I am glad I nursed as long as I did, no matter how
inconvenient it was at times, because it provided something my babies needed.
Now that they are grown, and one of them has died, it is a happy memory for me.

Traci - posted on 12/13/2009

3

1

0

I had a hard time with my son with that. I tried weaning gently at 12 months as I had with my daughter but he was just SO insistent on continuing to feed. Finally at 14 months I declared that he was going cold turkey and started wearing turtlenecks all the time. For three days all he did was cry face-down on the floor in despair. He was like a drug addict. But I stuck to my guns and he finally accepted it. This might also be a good time to go to her own bed. I think you're going to have some serious discipline issues down the road if you don't draw some boundaries now. It'll involves some short term screaming, but I think in the long run you'll be glad you did.

Dawn - posted on 12/13/2009

7

2

0

khristina, another thing, it helps if they have a full tummy from dinner before going to sleep. they're more likely to sleep thru the night without wanting to nurse.

Dawn - posted on 12/13/2009

7

2

0

wow, khristina! that is my story! my son is now 4, and i stopped nursing him when he was 3.5 yrs. slept in the bed with me too, would wake to nurse, never sick, really smart. it was very difficult to get him off the ta-ta's. every now and then he still grabs on and tries to nurse, except i'm not producing anymore, so he just does for a second then tells me that he loves them and that they are beautiful :) .i think after the first 18 months they really are not getting anymore nutritional value, it it solely comfort at that point, which is also important. i would just tell him no, which would be hard to stick to, occasionally would give in and sometimes i would hold out, let him cry and hold him till he fell asleep. eventually he got used to being told no, and from stopping breastfeeding for a few days here and there i think it diminished my production so he wasn't getting as much and he lost interest. i wish you the best, it seems like you can't do it for another day at times, but one day you'll be looking back at this time with fondness. and kudos to you for co-sleeping and nursing as long as you have, it's a beautiful thing.
one last thing, watch the teeth, i never knew that they could get cavities from breast milk , but they can. brush them morning and night. i learned the hard way. my baby had to get two crowns when he was three. pretty awful.

Julie - posted on 12/13/2009

4

0

0

Well, they are your breasts & you have the right to say NO! Just be firm and love her. Eventually she'll get over it. I would suggest having her sleep in her own bed. My children sleep in their own beds and do not get fed during the night at all. My youngest weined herself at 11 mos. & hasn't ever taken a bottle to bed. It is just something she'll have to get used to, and you too. You might try feeding her only once or twice a day to get her off the breast. One thing we did to get our oldest daughter off the binki was to take her to build-a-bear. She got to pick out & make a stuffed animal to sleep with...i suppose that just transfered her attatchment but it worked! Maybe you could rename you breasts by their correct name and suggest she transfer her pet name from your breasts to her new stuffed animal now that she's a big girl.

Rory - posted on 12/13/2009

2

2

0

The day my son turned 7 months I just decided to stop one day because he was teething and it was getting pretty painful for me. He was a little grumpy for a few days but that's it. I know some people say to make the change gradually but for me it really worked to just rip it off like a band aid. He realized he was hungry/thirsty and that his bottle or baby food was the only option I was giving him. When he turned one 1 I just took his pacifier away and he was cool with that too. I think if you find some other activity like reading a story when they're eating and making your presence known during that time it could really help them know that they aren't losing that bond, just growing up and making changes. He also used to wake up in the middle of the night and just want to snuggle to fall asleep. It's actually very common for breastfed babies to wake up in the middle of the night. I couldn't even get him to sleep with snuggling and rocking him, which don't get me wrong I loved but it's not good for him. My hubs was deployed so I just let him come to bed with me and rocked him every night, but in the long run it was a horrible idea. Just a few months ago we wanted to try "sleep training" and get him in his own bed. My husband actually got him to get to bed. We just started a bath, read, bed routine. He still cried for about a week and it's tough. When he would wake up and try to come out of his bed we would just tell him to go back or walk him back without any coddling, say goodnight, and that was it. Sometimes it would take a few tries but now he's 19 months, marches right into bed, picks out his books, and lays down to read. He's awesome and I'm proud of us that we were able to do it because he feels more independent. I hope something of this novel can help you, don't be afraid to try different approaches until something works for you!

Kristin - posted on 12/13/2009

4

57

0

my daughter nursed right up until her third birthday and people thought I was crazy but I couldn't get her to stop. She wouldn't take a bottle or binky either. She was also and still is a more demanding child. I went on a women's church conference for two days and when I came back I told her there was no more milk and I just stayed firm about it. The first night she whined a little and still tried to climb into bed and sneak a nurse. I had to stop myself b/c I was so used to just doing it. I took her to the store and let her pick out some "special" sippy cups and that was the end of it. I think part of it was realizing myself that she didn't "need" to nurse anymore. I wasn't depriving her of anything and then I didn't feel so guilty for stopping.

Karen - posted on 12/13/2009

11

11

0

It seems like ur the only one with this issue when it's happening. My son is finally off...it took 4 years, yes i was weak. In the end, i told him they were broken. Mind you, it was only a few minutes before he drifted off for comfort and habit, but when i got bitten a couple of times, i called it quits. Yes he cried and i stood strong. The longer you take to sort it out, the harder it gets...and they get stronger too with the pulling at you! Yes, the bonding is beautiful, but you must move on. Water by the bed is great idea because you don't want to encourage cavites. I woudn't put her out of bed either. My son still falls to sleep with us and we move him after. He's 5 now. Good luck and be strong.

Lindsey - posted on 12/13/2009

54

12

1

I would suggest cutting out various feedings until there aren't anymore to cut out. Remember most 2-3 year olds not only need comfort, but they are also testing their boundries for control. It will be difficult- but it won't get any easier the older they get! You have to find your own way and STICK TO IT! They will move on from it and it won't be emotionally scarring. I assure you it is far worse for a child to not learn independence and self-soothing then to have their parent put their foot down on something. I am not at all suggesting you cut her off cold turkey but once you get there- no is no. Also I wouldn't suggest a binky or bottle. That will only create a new habbit you will have to try and break later.

Maybe go buy her a special bedtime stuffed animal or blanket that can help replace that comfort. Then stick to a bedtime routine. My son gets dinner, bath, massage, teeth, book, 5 minutes of rocking (no more) and into bed. He will rarely fuss. They have to learn to self sooth.
I have found that these situations are often times much harder on the parents than the kids in the long run. Be strong, and do what works for you. Best of luck to you!

Stephanie - posted on 12/12/2009

23

22

0

don't offer, don't refuse....and definitely get her out of your bed!!! also get her used to drinking milk from a cup......this is what I've been told anyway...hope it helps!! Also, the fat content in breastmilk is higher at night, so maybe some whole milk before bedtime would help??

Putu Evie - posted on 12/11/2009

2

6

0

I breastfed my son till he was about 2 and the only way to stop him was to let him had two sleep over at my parent-in-laws. And that was really such a big help from them and they were really nice offered me the help. Then the next step was very difficult - I had to firmly say no every time he asked for my breast to comfort him. Some time I scared him by putting tomato sauce on the nipple because he thought it's chili sauce. It worked for me and hoping it will work for you guys too. Felt so much better after you quit, because it just the time for your hormone to be back to normal as a woman, not a breastfeeding woman. You have to do something or you end up breastfeeding your child till they 5 yo, just like my mum. It's not good for you...

Khristina - posted on 12/11/2009

75

19

5

yea alana- she has to have milk for her nap- she is just a really hard kid to get to sleep at all- Sometimes driving in the car will put her to sleep wish i could do that every day to get her to sleep but with the weather the way it is right now we aren't leaving the house very much here. It hasn't gotten above 20 degrees and the 2 feet of snow we got isn't going anywhere. There are lots of issues- my mom would try to get her to sleep but she wont i did go out once one time and got home at like 4 am and she was still awake i'm telling you this child does not like to go to sleep once she latched on she was out. yea i think she will grow out of it- i hope so. Everyone is encouraging me to keep it up a while longer. I think i will wait till she is 3 then maybe get more serious about weaning. I would sleep in another bed and try to get away from her- but we live in a little apt and there is only one bedroom so that is kinda hard. My mom also watches her at her house most of the time cause she won't drive in the snow or at night..i'm screwed lol. If only she had a dad i could make watch her..

Alana - posted on 12/11/2009

1

17

0

Hi Khristina,
You don't say if she is drinking milk during the day in a cup or not? Ok, just saw below and it looks like she does! haha. I think you need to take it slowly for a little while. Just start with breaking any feeding during the day first. Once that is sorted then you can think about night. Maybe a step at night would be to introduce a new step to the nighttime routine and take out the nursing as much as possible over time. Also, if your mum is ok with it, once a week she could come over so you can go and have coffee and dessert with your friends??? and your mum could put her to bed, to help brek the habit there too. It sounds as though she is a good sleeper so she might just be waking after you are in bed, because it is her way of saying Oh look there is Mum, mum=comfort-nursing??? But it is totally up to you whether you keep her in your bed or not. Also, the older she gets, surely the easier to reason with?
With my daughter, we went on an overseas trip for a long while and when we got back I just distracted her when she asked for feeding and then my husband put her to bed for a few nights and all of a sudden she had weaned off the 2 nursing times she was still having during the day. It was painless for the both of us. I guess I have one more question, when you put her down for her day nap, do you nurse then as well? Maybe just choose one of these times as first to break the habit. And maybe if you do have a few drinks, just sleep in a different bed yourself that night? Might be enough for the night, so you can have a little freedom. I am pretty sure, by the time she gets to school you will have been able to talk her out of nursing so just try and think about what you need for now and how you can get it with minimum heartache.

Maria - posted on 12/11/2009

3

1

0

I have a friend who went through the exact same thing she found a book that completely solved the night time wake ups and now only after 3 months her daughter is fully weaned. The idea is that you nurse for a certain amount of time every time she wakes up so lets say 10mins. Once that 10min is up you put her back to bed and rub her back. Shorten the time every few nights or week until you are no longer nursing and just go in and rub her back.

Khristina - posted on 12/11/2009

75

19

5

I love the sports bra and the band aid thing. We will have to do that. My watching her all day on sundays and asks my mom alot of the time for mookies and graps at hers- which is funny cause she hasn't had milk for decades. She has always told her they are broken and all dried up.

Stacey - posted on 12/11/2009

6

54

0

Ultimately you will have to find and stick to a system that you feel is best for you and your daughter. I ended up telling my daughter that mine were "broken" and could not work anymore because she was a big girl.... and they were for babies anyway. My daughter knew that because we had had friends that had infants and she knew that babies fed that way. My daughter also has never had a bottle or paci. She is now very well adjusted and handles things in stride very easily as long as I take the time to explain them to her.... I dont try to reason it out I just say it in a matter of fact voice and go on with other things and act as if it is no big deal. The one thing that was different for me is my daughter did not sleep with me after she turned 10 months old... she was sleeping through the night and she seemed to get better sleep in her own crib. Plus I got great sleep knowing she was sleeping soundly too. I was very consistant in telling her that my boobs were broken and wore a sports bra to bed for a while as my "bandaid" and she has never asked again.... anyway... it worked for me. Good luck.

Jen - posted on 12/11/2009

14

11

1

I was going crazy around 20 months b/c I was ready for DD to stop. Essentially, I started to deny her. I decided that I would nurse her to sleep but not during the night. Instead I would snuggle her or hold her hand, whichever she chose. I still do that. I think that she just needed to learn that she was OK without milk in the middle of the night. Then she stopped asking in the morning b/c she was busy. Then she would forget during the day. Then there was no more milk and she was just suckling to go to sleep- I did not want to be a "binky" so I gave her one last "try" to get milk and she didn't, so we were done. She never used a pacifier or bottle either. She asked a few times after that and I would remind her that she already had her last try and that she is growing up and that is wonderful. She still has milk for "baby doll" and all is well. If she wakes up at night it is only once or twice, but usually she sleeps for 10-11 hrs. In the end, I would try cutting out the middle of the night feedings- it will be hard for a bit (a day or many!) but it might help her to gain confidence that she doesn't need it anymore. Oh, Dr Jay Gordon- look him up. We followed his advice and "plan" for night weaning. Check him out. He is a co-sleeping guy. Good luck!

Khristina - posted on 12/11/2009

75

19

5

Waned to add that she drinks 2% milk all thoughout the day. And loves it- she does drink from a cup. We have the big girl conversation all the time- i guess she is just not ready. It not the milk she wants from me i think but the drinking from the book that comfort. I guess you just have to be stubborn and say no and stick wth it. But yea since i'm a sinlge mommy i'm always at my wits end with her and give in a lot! if you can stick with it and just say now- keep going to get a bottle I guess.

Tifani - posted on 12/11/2009

3

0

0

Ok you guys are scaring me. My little girl is 16 months and I am so ready for her to get off the Boob. She too sleeps in the bed with myself and my husband and wakes periodically to get some boob. I need to be freed from these shackles so if either of you figure out a good way please please let em know. I can't be doing this at 20-26 months, i just can't!

Anne - posted on 12/10/2009

14

37

1

OMG Khristina!!!! I know the feeling all to well girlfriend!!!! my sone is 2 going on 20 never been sick and if so mild of anything for just a day...smarter than Einstien its Amazing...but yes he thinks my BOOBS as he calls them are his too...Hellooo...in public whatttt the same here but def not gonna happen....although there were times when he was younger that i had to no choice but covered up of course...what did was i tried regression kinda like going backwards...i bought a bottle that mimics a breast nipple u know the widder ones...pumped some breast milk warmed it up...n it actually worked for awhile but i blame myself for not being consistant...maybe i'll try again but if u get any tips please get back to me...i'm a prisoner by my own regards :-)

PS...careful with the nite feeding as they older they can get cavities i noticed a small one forming on my sons 2 front teeth make sure u brush in the AM...i bought a lil spin brush soft bristles of course...spinbrushes are awesome for those hard to reach places n buy natural toothpaste...i've heard about putting coffe grinds on your nipples so they wont like the taste but personally i think that would be horrible! I breaks my heart but hello i would like a lil drink every now n then too lol...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms