Does anyone know much about behaviours of children with Processing Disorder or ODD

Monique - posted on 12/05/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My 7 year old was hurt by the deputy principal at her school and we have now been trying to get her confidence back and improve on her social skills and communication, she has now been referred for attending a school that focuses on behaviour and I am torn between trying this and taking a more normal route. I have no problem with her at home aside from the usual behaviours and she prefers to be around adults or attending to animals rather than playing with her peers... I would hate to put her through all this if this is just her personality, any help advice or indicators would be greatly appreciated as I am trying to find some commonality to try and aid in her diagnosis as really need to know if there is something that I could be doing to help her. Thanks

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Amy - posted on 12/05/2009

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Hi Monique. I'm a public school teacher and have one son who has had a very difficult time in school. I'm very familiar with both sides of your predicament. We have gone through years of testing, problem solving, unanswered questions, and a close call with expulsion in the 3rd grade. Bottom line, you should start by getting a Neuropsychological Evaluation from an Independent Source. Do not go through the school as they don't have the means and/or funds to do a full evaluation. It will cost you some money and usually isn't covered through your insurance. However, they will test for behavioral as well as academic disabilities. The testing usually takes several weeks and the evaluator will want copies of your child's records from school. These are easy to get but take some time for the schools to process. Once you have your evaluation you should request an SST with the school. My guess is that they will find some disabilities with your daughter so she will need to have an IEP that will protect her rights going forward in her education. I would recommend that you have the Evaluator at the SST to help all parties understand the Evaluation & she can give recommendation for modifications to be used daily in your child's education. I would definitely make sure that the school draws up a Behavior Plan to attach to the IEP. This is legally binding and will help to ensure that proper protocol is followed if your daughter has a future episode like the one you described. As educators and administrators we do our best with the situation at hand but we're not perfect and sometimes what we try doesn't work for that child. The Evaluation will help everyone understand how your child thinks and works and will help in the training of all that work work with her on how to respond most effectively. I would also recommend that you look at other Public Schools in your area that are more willing to work positively with your child. I wouldn't jump to transferring her out to a "Day School" until you've exhausted all other possibilities. Often, it's finding the right "fit" of teacher, Principal, and school staff along with a Behavior Plan & IEP that will help your child be successful. We waited too long to move our son to a different school but it was the best thing we ever did. And don't forget, you're never asking too much of anyone when you're advocating for your daughter. You have her best interest at heart and you need to find a staff that will carry that same feeling. Don't lose hope and don't get discouraged. It may be a long road but they all make it through.

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Sylvia - posted on 04/18/2012

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My son is adhd/odd, you think the school is helping you with your child so your ok with what they say. They want it there way. You do not have to do what the school tells you to do. Always remember your the mother it is up to you what is best for your child not the school. if i left it up to my school what happened to my son it would not have went well at all for him. i put my foot down kept contact with my son's doctors out side of school REFUSED the schools psychologist and counselor. (you can do that). My story is SOOOOOO long and hurtful what our school did to my child, and if I didnt turn on the Momma Bear mode and stand up for him, I have no idea what his school life would have been like, But now let me tell ya with working with MY out side doctors with my son finding the proper meds (finally Focalin XR with Resperidone) to help him he is GREAT. Sad that I had to get ugly to let the school know that what they were doing is BS and they can not do it, They have to acomidate your child. I wish you the best of luck and never be afraid of standing up for your child to the school :)

LaMonde - posted on 12/07/2009

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First, let me say that my family will be praying for your family and especially your little one. I have a very spirited 6 year old son and he has a very strong personality. Many people have suggested since last year that he needs to be "tested", seek a psychologist, etc... He has been to the asst principal's office at least twice this year. I did some research on the normal "labels" that people try to place on our children especially when they attend public school. Don't have your child tested until the age of 8, most doctors will not even entertain it until then. Next, focus on the "triggers" for the outbursts of the adverse behavior. I ask 100+ questions about what happened during the day and I try my best to find time to observe my son in social settings including times that the teacher is not aware of my presence. I need to know that he is okay and not in an abusive setting. Also, my husband and I talk to my son...ALOT!!! We focus on thinking about rewards and consequences(punishments) for undesirable behavior. Finally, take some time and do some research on the DP's credentials. Find out if this is something that someone else has complained about with him and their child. File a complaint if you feel that he was aggressive but be careful...if your child was in a position that he felt was dangerous, then he acted the way he felt was appropriate. If I were you, place 99% of your attention to your little blessing and 1% on the DP's behavior. Getting back to my son. After 2 1/2 months this year of terrible behavior marks, last week he brought home 1 full week of great behavior. What happened??? His friend Joseph, moved to another school district and school the Friday before last week!!! So, was the problem his friend??? No, not really. I believe that they are trying to learn how to get along with others and knowing what behavior is appropriate and what is not. Our children are not robots and some are very expressive. We should learn how to assist them by creating an environment that is flexible and understanding. As parents, become a presence that is always there. My husband is out of work right now so when I receive an email about any of my 3 children, he is there in 5 minutes. If its something that he cant handle, I leave work and demand attention. I have worked a couple of years in the elementary school system and volunteered, also. The more they know that you are there, the more you learn about who is teaching your child and how the school is run. Don't allow them to run your child to an institution...get in and fight. Educators are not physicians but they are people and parents, so do your very best to work with them. You will find that like the rest of society, there are some really great ones (and some-not-so-great ones). Whatever you decide, God bless you and your family! I know that your little one is going to do great things in the future!

Lisa - posted on 12/07/2009

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Children are amazingly resilient. As long as the school atmosphere she is in right now is not in any way detrimental then I wouldn't change her. Constant open communication between you and the teacher and also the administration is key right now, also with your daughter. Unfortunately if you are not sure of your current school's ability to handle this situation with your child's best interest at heart then you should seek out other options. I have had similar situations with my 2nd daughter, although I'm not sure what you meant by "hurt". As long as I stayed positive and in constant open communication it worked out OK. GOod luck to you.

Christine - posted on 12/06/2009

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The system is hard to get along with. I had to pull my son from public schools because he was wrongly accused and "punished". Go to a private therapist that specializes is PTSD. That will help find underlying causes for the new things you are seeing. There is a definate need for some more investigating on what exactly happened. No one at the school is allowed to mishandle your child. You must sign off for restraint to be used. I have an 11 yo son who is labled as ADHD, ODD, PTSD with severe anxiety. I wish you luck....show lots of love, its hard to trust adults when so many abuse the privledge.

Jacinta - posted on 12/06/2009

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An independent assessment would be really valuable A child psychologist will be able to assess her properlyand hopefully help with the trauma of her experience a t school.there are a few different types of processing diorders and they all range from mild to severe effectsFrom what you describe they may be thinking about a sensory processing disorder..My son has an auditory processing disorder,ADD, and food sensitivities. It was a long arduous road arriving at these diagnoses,But knowing has made it easier to find solutions.(he attends a normal public school)

Christabel - posted on 12/06/2009

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"I wouldn't jump to transferring her out to a "Day School" until you've exhausted all other possibilities. Often, it's finding the right "fit" of teacher, Principal, and school staff along with a Behavior Plan & IEP that will help your child be successful. We waited too long to move our son to a different school but it was the best thing we ever did. And don't forget, you're never asking too much of anyone when you're advocating for your daughter. You have her best interest at heart and you need to find a staff that will carry that same feeling. Don't lose hope and don't get discouraged. It may be a long road but they all make it through."
I have a student who is a little like this and although her behaviour can be disruptive she is actually a bright student who definately has some psychological and/or intellectual difficulties. However the bottom line I feel is that any child will respond to the level of 'anger ' they percieve in the adult. I suspect that is what happened to your child and it can be a case of the 'right fit' for some children who are outside our general experience. Perhaps if the DP had just waited with your daughter and did some walk and talk she/he, withour blame or impatience, she/he may have calmly discussed the situation . Clearly it seems to me that your daughter thought she was in trouble and perhaps was confused as to why. This is speculation, however the if your child has not shown any sign of such behaviour before and she is now 7 then assuming that she is violent child is a big assumption. Overall I think Amy was spot on and don't let others label your child just because one person was unable to handle your child!

Marie-Chantal - posted on 12/05/2009

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I like Amy's comment! I am a little shock by the DP response... However, if we don't trust the system ourselves, how are we going to help our children develop trust? No body is perfect, but our littles ones have the right to be protected and nurtured! Keep us updated!

Darla - posted on 12/05/2009

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Get her out of the public school system. They will continue to cause damage to her. They cannot and do not help any child that does not fit their definition of "normal" or "good",

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Rather than depending on the schools to help treat your child, you should try to get her evaluated by an independent psychologist. She may have a processing disorder,which would cause difficulty in getting her feelings across to the DP, even if she was able to identify them. His attempts to restrain her may not have been intentionally aggressive, but I'm sure they were traumatic for her (and possibly for him). She may now be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and still is unable to identify and express her feelings appropriately.

Debbye - posted on 12/05/2009

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When your children are younger, and have suffered abuse by other adults, it is always wise to reinforce positive bonding and attachment by helping her to learn to trust again. Choices and perceptions made about relating to adults at the age of your daughter need to be healed. Have you considered homeschooling her, so that you can be the one to help her to release her hurt when it surfaces?

Jacqui - posted on 12/05/2009

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Sounds like assault by the DP to me. I would take it further as behaviour towards children, even when they are being unco-operative, is absolutely not allowable in my opinion. Why should your little one be labelled at 7 years old because a teacher was unable to handle the situation.

Jacqui - posted on 12/05/2009

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Quoting Monique:

Thanks Christabel, she was up a tree with over 20 kids beneath her the principal removed them and she came down and went off to play by herself, when the bell rang not long after she was at the class but wanted the teacher to talk to my assumption is regarding why she was up the tree, she refused to return to class and her teacher could not leave 23 other students alone to called the DP to come and get her, he stated that he cornered her in a garden outside the class she then freely went with him and he walked her through the carpark and out of bounds area to the locked rear door of the office building, at this point he stated that she went limp and he had to drag her into his office, she once there proceeded to hide behind chairs under desks and anywhere else she was sometimes talking other times growling and requesting to go back to class, he stated he frequently asked why she was doing what she was and said he could not get a clear reply and was faced with her laughing sometimes also, these are all clear indicators of panic and fear. She then from his discription scratched and kicked him repeatedly (she has no finger nails as had been biting them for the three weeks previously) so he recanted and stated that she rubbed his arms. When I got there she crawled out from under the table and gurgled a growl I was unable to get to her as the DP was blocking the door. She eventually came out and after I got her to apoligise she manages to press past the DP to me where she clung to me all the way to our car. Once we got home she showed me two huge marks between her forearm and wrist on one arm these bruised by the next morning and were still there 14 days later along with peticial haemorrahging on the back of her neck at her singlet line and a mark on her right shoulder.. The DP had stated that he had tried to restrain her and none of the restraints had worked, again clear indication that she was in extreme panic. Hope that this clarifies. She has since had a Guidance Officer assessment whereby the GO stated that in her experience my daughter exhibited clear indicators of a Processing Disorder. Since this episode she has been labeled as a Violent aggressive child..


 

Monique - posted on 12/05/2009

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Thanks Christabel, she was up a tree with over 20 kids beneath her the principal removed them and she came down and went off to play by herself, when the bell rang not long after she was at the class but wanted the teacher to talk to my assumption is regarding why she was up the tree, she refused to return to class and her teacher could not leave 23 other students alone to called the DP to come and get her, he stated that he cornered her in a garden outside the class she then freely went with him and he walked her through the carpark and out of bounds area to the locked rear door of the office building, at this point he stated that she went limp and he had to drag her into his office, she once there proceeded to hide behind chairs under desks and anywhere else she was sometimes talking other times growling and requesting to go back to class, he stated he frequently asked why she was doing what she was and said he could not get a clear reply and was faced with her laughing sometimes also, these are all clear indicators of panic and fear. She then from his discription scratched and kicked him repeatedly (she has no finger nails as had been biting them for the three weeks previously) so he recanted and stated that she rubbed his arms. When I got there she crawled out from under the table and gurgled a growl I was unable to get to her as the DP was blocking the door. She eventually came out and after I got her to apoligise she manages to press past the DP to me where she clung to me all the way to our car. Once we got home she showed me two huge marks between her forearm and wrist on one arm these bruised by the next morning and were still there 14 days later along with peticial haemorrahging on the back of her neck at her singlet line and a mark on her right shoulder.. The DP had stated that he had tried to restrain her and none of the restraints had worked, again clear indication that she was in extreme panic. Hope that this clarifies. She has since had a Guidance Officer assessment whereby the GO stated that in her experience my daughter exhibited clear indicators of a Processing Disorder. Since this episode she has been labeled as a Violent aggressive child..

Christabel - posted on 12/05/2009

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I would like a little clarification; when you say hurt do you mean physically or mentally or both and in what way? It helps to have the circumstances of the incident made clear because the circumstances will determine to a large degree the response.

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