Does anyone know what happens when visitation crosses state lines?

Lauren - posted on 09/17/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




I am the mother to a 6 year old daughter. Her dad and I were never married and upon our break-up we never got court ordered visitation established, partly because he moved to 3 states away and only comes to town 2 times per year if that much. Recently he calls 1 day prior to coming to town and announces that he'll arrive the following day and in addition demanded that I make our child available to spend the weekend with him. I didn't allow this to happen because I on this particular weekend she was being rewarded for things she had been working on and working for. The other reason I didn't let her go is because I want there to be boundaries and I want those boundaries to be respected. I don't want him to feel that he doesn't owe me the courtesy of at least 2 weeks notice when he is going to take out child. I want them to be able to maintain their relationship but, I am torn because I still want him to know that even though I am the custodial parent and thus I have her the majority of the time, this doesn't give him a pass to just breeze in and out of her life as he pleases, and while doing so our world has to literally stop because of it.

After I refused to give in to him over the weekend he began threatening to take me to court for court ordered visitation. This makes me nervous because I am scared of my daughter going to another state without me. I am wondering if anyone knows how court ordered visitation works when it is working between 2 different states?


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Lacye - posted on 09/17/2012




My parents at one time used to live in two different states when I was a kid. It's not that bad. One weekend a month, depending on how far away, alternating holidays, and 2 months summer vacation.

I hope you realize that because you have not taken him to court yet that neither one of you technically have custody of your daughter. If he ever got her alone, he could take her to the other state and file for custody there and there would be nothing you could do about it until court date. That's how my dad got custody of me and my sister. You really need to proceed with the court papers as soon as possible. It's only a matter of time before he does if he is threatening it.

Dove - posted on 09/17/2012




From friends I had growing up who lived across the country from their fathers.... they would spend pretty much all summer with their fathers. Some courts will split school vacations. Half the summer, half of Christmas break, and alternating years of Spring Break...

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