Mary - posted on 10/23/2012 ( 25 moms have responded )
My daugter is about to turn 4 on Friday and she is out of control. She will be perfectly happy one minute and then if she is asked to get ready for her shower or to pick up toys she completly melts down. She has such explosive fits where she will scream, throw herself on the floor, kick anything around her. If myself or her father is in close proximity she will kick, hit, bite, pinch, and pull on our clothes. We cannot talk to her during these outbursts; they can last 10 minutes or longer. These outbursts happen on a regular basis; it is to the point where if we can go 2 days without an outburst we are thrilled and yet walking on eggshells waiting for the next one. Her outbursts occur from the simplest things: please pick up your toys, time for dinner, please eat your dinner, no you may not have a snack we are about to eat dinner. Her pre-k teacher and daycare provider never see this behavior but have commented that she is sensitive. I forgot to include spitting, she will spit on me during these outbursts as well. Something as simple as it is time to get out of the shower and she screams and begins hitting and spitting. Another problem we have is that we live in a small village on a second floor and her outbursts are so loud I know that the family downstairs can hear them. If I do something as simple as place my hand on her back and say lets go put on our jammies she will throw herself to the floor and scream that I hurt her and pushed her. She does this in many instances screaming that I or her father hit, pushed, pinched, or scratched her when in fact we have barely touched her. We are at our wits end, she does not listen to anything at all, she was jumping on her bed (continuing after we asked her to stop) and bit her tongue and made it bleed. 2 minutes later she was jumping on her bed again, we remind her of this when she continues to jump on her bed and she acknowledges but continues to do it. We feel that simply asking or saying not to do something should have some explanation as to why we do not want her to do certain things and the same for things we would like her to do. It seems as though she is very angry and frustrated during these outbursts. I feel that this behavior and defiance is beyond that of a 4 year old child am I crazy or is my concern justified?