does my daughters father still have rights to my daughter if hes been gone for her first year?
Ariana - posted on 11/06/2012
That really sucks for you Summer and I disagree with the majority who are talking to you right now. Yes he DOES have rights but he's the one who CHOSE to skip out and walk away for a year. Since he's finally decided to act like an adult you, unfortunately, will most likely to be forced into letting him into your daughters life.
It will be easier if you talk to him and try to get an agreement set up rather than be forced to do whatever a judge wants. Try to find a mediator and also mention to your childs biodad that HE chose to bail so it is going to take time for your daughter to get to know him and you want to make sure he's safe to be with your child.
It sucks, and you don't deserve to have to deal with this. It isn't fair that he can just run off, you take care of your daughter with no support, worrying because she's got no father around and then BAM the biodad finally decides to act like an adult and you've got to change your and your daughters life around to suit his needs. He wasn't thinking of his daughter when he went off, doing who knows what, for that year.
You have to compromise and you have to deal with things since biologically this is his child as well as yours. There's nothing you can do about that. I just think it's unfair that you were the responsible adult, taking care of your child doing everything you were supposed to, and the other adult, who was supposed to be helping take care of your child, just gets to walk in and out of your childs life when they suddenly feel it's alright instead of when they're supposed to. It just seems silly for you to be told 'be an adult' when you're obviously dealing with someone who hasn't been an adult for the last 12 months.
That being said you have to deal with him now that he's chosen to be around, and it will go a lot easier for you and your daughter if you find a mediator to talk to him and set up a visitation schedule. Also remember never to bash your daughters biodad in front of her (even at this young age or even if he really is jerk) because it IS your daughters dad and she will remember if you say negative things about him and it will split her loyalties. Just for the future.
â« Shawnn âªâ«â« - posted on 11/06/2012
Summer, not to sound harsh and bitchy, but here's the deal. Why should YOU have all the rights to a child that it took TWO people to create?
Yep, he may have skipped out on her first year, but he's back and ready to be a dad now, so you need to let that happen. Your alternative is to withhold visits, and not allow him to see her, and then have a judge grant HIM custody because you decided that you wanted to sleep with him, but not allow him the chance to know his child. So, which would you rather? An adult approach that takes into consideration both the needs of the child AND the needs/wants/desires of BOTH of her parents, or a judge telling you which days YOU get to visit the child that you're claiming is entirely yours???
Be an adult. Meet with your ex, see if you can both come to an amiable agreement, and get it notarized. If you can't agree, then get a mediator involved and come to an agreement.
Dove - posted on 11/06/2012
Yes he does. He will always have visitation rights and the right to attempt to go for custody unless he signs away his rights or a judge removes them for some reason. Being absent for a year (while sucky) is not a reason to have his rights removed.
Talk to him and see if the two of you can come up with a visitation schedule that you both agree on, get it in writing, and notarized by the courts.
If you can't agree.... Get a good lawyer and go through the court system. Then you will have it in writing when your daughter can be with you and when she can be with her father... That way if he tries to just take off with her you have a legal document to protect yourself and your child.
Lacye - posted on 11/06/2012
Summer, that's the thing. She's not just your daughter. She is his as well. Have you tried to talk to him about setting up a visitation schedule? At least try to work with him on something that would allow both of you to have ample time with her.
Jodi - posted on 11/05/2012
Firstly, yes, he still has rights unless you have had them removed.
Secondly, you should always leave the door open for your daughter to get to know her father. It's about her opportunity to have a relationship with both of her parents, not about whether he has rights or not.
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