Does my fiance have to give his son back to the mom?

River - posted on 04/15/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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She recently decided we could have the child until she has a job and is away from her bf (who's abusive). My fiance and I feel like it might be a trick as she has thrown a fit at the thought of joint physical custody so it seems strange that she's so willing to hand the child over now. They have a custody case coming up. My fiance has record of her saying we could keep the child. If she suddenly changes her mind after we've already got the child then do we have to give him back?

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Raye - posted on 04/15/2015

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All you can do is try and do what you feel is best for the child, gather all evidence and present it to the judge.

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River - posted on 04/15/2015

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Raye, there's been many times in which we went to pick the child up and she refused to give him to us so the police were called. So there's police records of her denying the visit. There's also texts and voicemails of her denying visits. My fiance mostly wants 50/50 time he says. He wants to go to court and ask for temporary custody until the abusive bf is out of the picture then he wants to ask them to start joint physical custody after that happens. I would think if he can prove the bf is abusive to the mom then I would think he could get temporary custody.

Raye - posted on 04/15/2015

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If they are supposed to abide by the state guidelines for visitation, but she has been denying him that time, then that is parental alienation. Do you have record of her denying him that time? She cannot make him give up his rights just because she wants to. With a court order for visitation, she is in contempt of court for keeping the child from him. She may be afraid of going back to court, and trying to tell you she'll give you the child to keep that from happening, and she could try to take the child back later.

Go to court, get the judge to rule on custody, come to an agreement on visitation, and then you both parents should abide by the court orders. If she tries to "get away with" something after it has been settled by the judge, then take her back to court.

River - posted on 04/15/2015

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There's a court order which states she has primary physical custody and it says to follow the Indiana Parenting Time Guidelines or come to an agreement. He also has legal custody. We aren't trying to keep him from her. Her boyfriend is abusive towards her. That is bad for the child to be around. So my fiance has been trying to get him out of there, which is why he's going to court for custody. as well as she has denies visits many times, and she's told him to give up his rights. Part of why we figured she may be trying to pull something. It's odd that she went from practically not wanting him around his own child to suddenly letting us have him.

Dove - posted on 04/15/2015

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If he has proof that he's the father and there is no current court order for custody... I don't believe he has to give her back. You would want to ask a lawyer to be sure though. They will usually answer one or two simple questions like this for free, but if there is a custody case coming up in court anyway he should already have a lawyer he can ask.

If there is a court order... or once there is a court order... he has to go along w/ whatever it says.

Raye - posted on 04/15/2015

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If she changes her mind, the judge should take your record of her promise into consideration. It will be up to them to decide who gets custody. If it can be proven her boyfriend is abusive, then that helps your case some, although if he has not been abusive to the child, only the mom, then that's a more gray area. Even if your fiancé gets him now, there will be a time later that it could change (assuming she gets her life in order). Both parents should still try to have a relationship with their child, and both parents should be open to letting the other parent remain in the child's life.

Ledia - posted on 04/15/2015

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Is there a current court order that states that she has primary physical custody? If so, then yes, you have to give the child back if she asks for him. Even if you have a record of her saying he could keep the child, it will not override the current court ordered custody agreement.

If they do not yet have a court ordered custody agreement, then it would depend on your state or country's laws. Where I live, if there is no court order, then the parents both have equal rights, so if he has the child, he does not HAVE to give the child back, but if she can prove that he is keeping the child from her or making it difficult for her to see her child, she can take him to court and he could be charged with parental alienation and lose his custody rights all together. So it's best to be nice.

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