Ruth - posted on 11/13/2012 ( 46 moms have responded )
My husband and I have 4 children. I have two from a previous marriage, he has 1 and together we have 1. My ex has never been involved with my children and they call my husband dad, we have even started to process for him to adopt them. We have never been fond of the "step" label when referring to ourselves or our children, they are not floormats, they are children. I also come from a broken home and know firsthand the pain of not being accepted by the new husband's family. I have made my opinion very clear on the subject, and yet my MIL will still introduce my children as my "children from a previous marriage" or as her son's "step-daughters" or as his "wife's children". We have asked her over and over again not to do this, especially in front of the kids. The other day my daughter told her that her feelings were hurt by these phrases, and my MIL responded with "So what if I tell people he isn't your biological father, It's not a big deal". To me and my children, however, it is a big deal. I believe that she doesn't have a right to define the legal relationship to other people. It is no one's business but ours as to who's DNA our children carry. If we don't point it out to people, what gives her the right? Do I have the right to tell her to keep her mouth shut when it comes to the technicalities of my children's parentage?