Does my soon to be x husband have rights to our daughter?

Elle - posted on 08/11/2015 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I am in the process of filing for a very ugly divorce. If my x and I were not married when we had our daughter and signed the affidavit. Does he have rights to her?

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Elle - posted on 08/12/2015

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Getting rights to my daughter with his history will be next to impossible. Therefore I am not to worried about it. Like I said I am not moving across the country. Just to the next state . I still plan on letting her visit her dad just as often. He is not thinking about what is best for his daughter he is thinking he doesn't want to pay child support. But honestly I don't want a dime of his money. I just want him to do what is best for our daughter. And someday I may offer him joint custody but not until he gets his act together.

Elle - posted on 08/12/2015

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Spoke with a lawyer today. He has no rights. I will still give him visitation however because its important to my daughter!

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Raye - posted on 08/13/2015

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Elle, not all states give sole custody to an unwed mother. So, don't act like that's a 'given' in every situation. This is an international site, and the laws are very different around the world. So, if the lawyer advised you that your state's laws grant you custody, then great. The father can still petition the court to acknowledge his rights, and it could still be a nasty legal battle which may end in a way that you don't like. We cannot know all the particulars and we cannot say how a judge would rule. So we're just trying to prepare you, just in case.

Elle - posted on 08/12/2015

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As for parental alienation, I am not brain washing my child that my x is a bad person nor am I manipulating he in any way . I am the one who has encouraged him to even visit his daughter. He has made his bed and he can lay in it as far as I am concerned.

Elle - posted on 08/12/2015

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And to me there shouldn't be a reason for him to protest the move. He will see his daughter the same amount of time as he does now. And the best interest of the child is with me the mother. Mothers Pros- We have the stable household with her own room and space to play, we have medical benefits that her father does not receive or obtain for her, we have Pre- K Programs with all the children at the military base, she will have her college paid for, and receive a lot more benefit from the move then staying with her father in Arkansas, there is a child's savings program that our family has signed up for her, she has a yard to play in with her dog and her swing set, has a great father figure for a role model her sister is here. Cons of mother- Living with fiance, moving out of state, military moves. Pros to living with father- establishing a bond between father and daughter. Cons- Living with her fathers "buds", being in a home where there is smoking and drinking on a daily bases, meeting different girls all the time, sleeping in the same bed as her father, not having her own room, no medical coverage, not knowing if he will have the money to pay utilities because he bounces around from job to job. I am just stating I am all for fathers rights. When the father is in the right. But in this case I do believe I have made the best decision for my daughter and I.

Elle - posted on 08/12/2015

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Under law, when a child is born out of wedlock, the mother has sole legal and physical custody of the child. The father’s name may appear on the birth certificate after a DNA test establishes his paternity, or if both mother and father sign an acknowledgement of paternity form at the hospital. However, putting the father’s name on the birth certificate does not create any custody rights in the father. The father must petition the court for visitation or custody if he desires these rights.

Dove - posted on 08/12/2015

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If he is fighting you now... imagine how much worse it's going to be if you move before you have that court order in place. He may not have rights NOW... but getting them will be very easy and if you have moved w/out a court order allowing it... he could very well have you forced to move back... or to bring his child back to him.

Please do not move until this has gone through the court system. Did the lawyer say what would happen if he fights you in court? Or did you just ask what CURRENT rights he has?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/12/2015

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What will you do when paternity is proven, and he DOES have rights?

Biological parents BOTH HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE PARENTS TO THE KIDS. If you move, and change the dynamic of the relationship between the two of them to the point that it is severely restricted, he CAN take you to court for more custody, or even attempted parental alienation. As long as you're prepared for that step, that's great, but if you are expecting everything to be peachy-keen, and sunshine and rainbows to result, I am sorry to say...The man has rights.

I certainly hope that he exercises them.

Michelle - posted on 08/12/2015

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If you move without court permission he could file for custody and claim parental alienation because you took her away from him.
It's best for all parties to have the visitation in writing so you all know where you stand.
Be prepared for him to petition the courts to not let you move though, if he does and it's granted then you can't move.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/11/2015

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That really is the best for you all, Elle. With the involvement of attorneys, you can both get equal and fair terms.

Good luck!

Elle - posted on 08/11/2015

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Okay. Thank you. I am trying to move out of state and he is fighting me every step of the way. He only sees her MAYBE 1 weekend a month. I wanted to work everything out without court but he refuses. I honestly think it is fair. I offered to bring her back one weekend a month and 1 month in the summer. But he still refuses. I am moving to a military base and he says he will call the cops for kidnapping if I move. So its just a big mess. I am seeking an attorney tomorrow afternoon.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/11/2015

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Is he the child's biological father? If so, then YES he's got rights, and they happen to be the same rights that you have. You BOTH have the right to a relationship with your child. NEITHER of you has the right of possession, as the child is a human being, not a possession, so neither of you has rights "to" her in any way.

You both have the right to support your child, you both have equal responsibility in regards to financial support, and you both have equal rights in regards to physical custody and visitation.

Consult a family attorney to make sure that you both are represented in this, and that both of you are fairly given access to your child.

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