Does your child's lying cause fights between You & your ex spouse?

BiviP - posted on 08/28/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 6 yr old's lying causes horrible fights between her dad & I.

A little Background: We have not been together since 2009 & don't get along for the most part, our communication skills are horrible, I should say he does not get along with me because until he starts hurling insults at me for the smallest of things we are perfectly fine it took me a while to just be able to not reply to him calling me a "Fkn B" or a "piece of Sht mother" most communication coming from him directed at me usually includes some demoralizing statements if not all. Given he cheated on me with a family friend & pretty much left me for her.
If anyone should have animosity towards anyone it should be me but I don't.

He was a father while we where together He's not a full 100% deadbeat he doesn't miss holidays, birthdays or any special occasions but he is pretty negligent his definition of father hood is picking his child up from school & finding a place to drop her off & not spending any quality time with her or even providing the things that she needs, I have to endure being called a "Broke B" constantly for asking him to provide those things while getting maybe 20$ from him every 6 months & being a full time working mom supporting my daughter.

Well, Back to the issue at hand he picks up my child to take her with him to return a pair of shoes it was a 20 minute trip she has been sleeping over my mothers since Sunday night. Camp is over so my mom took vacation to care for her while I am at work. For the next 2 weeks I am temporarily covering a friend while shes on vacation which are late hours to make extra cash $$ so I work my regular 9am-5pm Hours then I travel to my mothers to be with her till I am off to work again from 8pm -3am for the next 2 weeks. My daughter tends to over exaggerate things & say " my mom never does this, my mom never buys me that, my mom never cooks for me, my mom never lets me sleep in her room, my mom never does anything" anything to make me look like the best mom in the world especially to him & his Gf who because of him coming hurling insults into my apt & me kicking him out has already called me a horrible mother for his actions & since they love me so much they love to feed of any little negative thing to make themselves feel better.


Well she went on to say my "MY MOM ALWAYS leaves me at my grandmas she never comes & stay with me" since I have a boyfriend I guess he automatically assumes that I am leaving to hang out with him. I find it reasonable for my child to stay & not have to wake up at 6 am like she has had to do her whole life during day care years, school time & summers for summer camp. He goes on to call me & question me & call me a negligent piece of Sht mother , everything in the book. Mean while when she called him to stay with her he wants to speak to me & tells me "what is it? what do I look like to you your Fkn baby sitter?" My daughter obviously doesn't understand the situation & surely she has not been the cause of many other issues but the lying has become a problem of everyday life with her even with explaining & her seeing the consequences.

Has anyone experienced a similar issue?

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Jodi - posted on 08/28/2013

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Why are you engaging with him? Stop taking his calls. My ex used to abuse me on the phone and I had my lawyer send him a letter letting him know that all future communication would be by text message, email or in written form (in my mailbox). That way, we could not get INTO that cycle of name calling or emotional abuse. He did try to call me but I would just hang up and text him that he needs to use the agreed forms of communication. You just need to refuse to engage in the discussion.

With regard to your daughter's lying, it is pretty normal for kids this age to exaggerate things a bit. Obviously her father takes her WAY too literally. Just try disengaging from the communication. You do not need to put up with that. Ever.

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