DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Cassandra - posted on 03/08/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My youngest son's father is getting out of prison soon. I told him he wasn't the father he wants a paternity test. He is phisacly and verbally abusive. He is not on the birth certificate . I have been denied a restraining order don't know why , but I know how he is and I am afraid he will try to take my son . What can I do ?

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Pam - posted on 03/09/2014

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-Please contact a domestic violence advocate right away. You can check the internet or the phone book for a number of try the national hotline 1-800-799-7233 and they can refer you to something closer to home.
They should be able to refer you to legal services. There also also people who are available just to talk and will respect your choices. Google your city of your state to find a number. Without knowing much more, it's possible that the restraining order was denied because he is still in prison or the judge/magistrate doesn't really understand how abusers work. Some organizations will have advocates that will come with you and help you through the restraining order process. Call and talk to someone. Even just to talk. And call tomorrow is you are still worried or have more questions. And call the day after. Even just to talk. It's not just about getting bruises. Domestic violence is about power and control and abusers are master manipulators and can really work the system. You are not alone.

Dove - posted on 03/09/2014

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Well, if he's not on the birth certificate and has no documentation stating he's the father... it would be kidnapping. But if he's not above committing illegal acts... I'm not sure what more you can do. Maybe speak to a lawyer to see if there is a way to get that restraining order

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Cassandra - posted on 03/08/2014

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YES THERE IS EVIDENCE OF THE PHYSICAL ABUSE THE COPS WHERE CALLED BUT HE RAN . HE HAS CHARGES FROM ASSAULT ROBBERY, BURGLARY ,RECKLESS ENDANGERMENT THE LIST GOES ON. I KNOW THAT I SHOULD HAVE JUST STAYED AWAY ALTHOUGH I HATE TO ADMIT IT HE HAD SO MUCH CONTROL OVER ME . BUT I DON'T WANT HIM AROUND ME OR MY SON'S ANYMORE AND I TOLD HIM THAT IN A LETTER I WROTE HIM. HE WROTE BACK THREATENING ME . I KNOW HE HAS RIGHTS BUT I KNOW HE HAS NOTHING NOT EVEN A PLACE TO LIVE . HE WON'T DO IT THE LEGAL WAY TO GET MY SON. I FEEL HE IS GONNA COME AND JUST TAKE HIM . AND I SERIOUSLY CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT.

Dove - posted on 03/08/2014

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Do you have evidence of the physical abuse? What is he getting out of prison for? My best advice is to get a lawyer to handle the details. He has a right to a paternity test and your son has a right to know his father... in a protective environment if need be.

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