Mary - posted on 01/20/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
I am new here and like many of you seeking advice. I try my best not to judge or make judgement. I am a black and white person and hold my values and morals very dear to my heart. My number one priority is my children 11 and 14. Like every other family we have are laughs and cries and are success and hard times. But at the end if the day we have a love and a bond that can not be broken. I have been divorced for ten years . I have had many trials and tribulations like most people in these situations. However, I have had accusations verbal threats and physical violations by both my ex husband and his new girlfriend! I do not want to sound bitter as the day he left was the best and a new beginning for me an my children. However the ex and his girlfriend try to sabbatoge my relationship with my kids . Especially my 11 year old daughter. They try to blame me for everything that goes wrong and tries to control and minuplate every little thing. The simplest request are made to be the biggest and hardest challenges. My son of 14 has began to realize what they are like and doesn't visit as much as he use to . Only on holidays or when the exa family is around:( and I worry when my daughter is out for visitation as when she comes home she always tells me that the girlfriend who insist on calling herself the step mom are talking badly of me . Or always critizing everything that we do together. Saying there is no rules or respect in my home and that my son is chosen over her . My heart breaks that my daughter is listening to this. As she goes to spend time with her dad and likes the girlfriend but doesn't like the things she says or acts. The girlfriend in my opinion is very insecure. As I have told her more then once he is all yours , but it doesn't sink in!! I truly believe she thinks I want him back lol and I have tried to be civil to both of them for the sake of my kids but nothing worked. As both try to control and intimidate me because of my bond with my kids. I have been working with my kids to make choices respect their choices and deal with what ever consequences occur because of their choices !! I want my children to believe in themselves to trust themselves and do right instead of wrong!! And most importantly think for themselves!! It is too far gone to be friends with both my x and his girlfriend as they have caused to many issues and problems which is very unfortunate. But I want to help my daughter from feeling she is caught in the middle? :( any suggestions. Oh yes I forgot the ex husband nor his girlfriend are allowed to contact me in any shape or form. This has been court ordered due to their behaviour towards me:( help any suggestions or advice I would appreciate it greatly but please keep it civil and non insulting please as I am not putting blame or demeaning anyone I am just trying to one help my kids and especially my daughter as she is at the age that self image confidence and emotional health are very important right now as they always where but more now then ever!!