Don't know what to do..

Tori - posted on 04/09/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

22

0

4

So I'm 17 and I am due in August. I will be moving in with my boyfriend and his parents in July. At first our original plan was to go on welfare in order to support our baby but now that we have gotten more support from both families and family friends we are saving quite a bit of money and feel like welfare is no longer needed. My mom on the other hand though still thinks that we are going on welfare and wants me to move there as early as I can in July so I can receive the money from welfare because I am unable to do so while living with her. I'm not sure if I should just tell my mom that we have decided not to go on welfare or to just ignore it all. I don't want her to think I'm being an irresponsible parent and I don't want her to feel like I can't raise my child properly. Please help. Thanks

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Tori - posted on 04/10/2015

22

0

4

Shawnn, we aren't assuming anything. We have everything planned out already. I live in Canada not the States so things are a little different... I am already registered at a school specifically for young parents and he now has a job. He is also registering to do an apprenticeship with his school which allows him to be paid while going to school. Please don't assume that I'm just some irresponsible teenager, your comments do hurt and you seriously need to watch what you say to people. You don't know my story

8 Comments

View replies by

Tori - posted on 04/10/2015

22

0

4

We have already discussed everything with everyone. We know exactly what needs to be done.

Valeria - posted on 04/10/2015

59

0

6

If you are getting help from your boyfriends parents you have to put all your options and be exactly sure of what exactly they will help you with. What I would assume is they will let you live with them with the baby and maybe provide food and necessary things, but you have to keep in mind, you or your boyfriend will have to work and buy the baby's formula, diapers, clothes ect. Will they also be taking care of the baby once you start working? Think about all this before making a decision. If they are anything like my parents were with me, they will only provide the housing and I take care of all expenses for my baby. And you are not being irresponsible, just need to speak with the parents and see what they are willing to help you with and what they expect you as the parents of the baby to do for yourself

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/10/2015

13,258

21

2015

Tori, I'm glad you've got a plan. FYI, you didn't read anything I wouldn't say to my own sons were they in this situation.

Hazellenora04 - posted on 04/10/2015

3

0

1

There is nothing wrong with receiving help . There is WIC to help you with food and formula , but make sure you that you are receiving the help because you really need it , not because it's there . Use it to get on you feet. Don't use it as a crutch and become lazy and dependent on the state.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/10/2015

13,258

21

2015

Well, a responsible parent figures out how to raise a child whilst having a job to support themselves and the child, not 'planning to go on welfare'. That's about as irresponsible as you can be..."Oh, lets get pregnant. I'll just go on welfare, because I can't really AFFORD a kid, but I want to have unprotected sex, regardless".

What are you and your boyfriend's plans for jobs, etc? When will you be able to finish HS, so that you can move ahead in your education or job placement? These are all important issues that need to be addressed, rather than just assuming that you're going to make it. You can't live with your parents (or his) forever. What are your plans for getting your own abode? How are you going to handle expenses if you don't qualify for welfare?

Jennifer - posted on 04/09/2015

3

0

1

I think you should really think about getting some support from the state. While I'm not saying you may need welfare totally, it does not hurt to get help with medical insurance and WIC for formula. Babies cost a lot more than I think you are prepared for and it is better to get assistance before the child is born so everything is in place when the child comes home. When I was married, my ex-husband and I both had great paying jobs. But my second child was pre-mature and we were shocked at how much our "good" work insurance didn't cover... the social worker at the hospital suggested we apply for medical assistance and they covered everything. Without that assistance, I think I would still be paying the hospital bill 11 years later. Just some food for thought...

Ev - posted on 04/09/2015

7,364

7

910

Well, if you are able to support your child in a reasonable way without the extra help of the state, then do what you feel is right.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms