Don't listen

Corina - posted on 07/13/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I can tell my girls to do something they won't do it what do I do I don't say much cause they got a big mouth

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Loretta - posted on 07/18/2013

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Those are tough ages for girls. One thing that really helped me when my oldest became a teenager was a CD I listened to about parenting teenagers. The most useful tip on it was, "If you're going to parent a teenager, you need to become tolerant of conflict. Anytime you stand between a teenager and what they want to do, you will have conflict. But they often need you to stand between them and things they want to do that are dangerous or destructive or otherwise unhealthy." Teenage girls can be very mouthy and have a lot of attitude. But that doesn't mean that you are wrong in setting down guidelines and offering consequences for them. You will have even more impact on them if you are also cultivating a relationship with them. That doesn't mean being their best friend who caters to their every whim. It means laying a foundation that you care about them and are interested in them and their lives. Then when you have to draw a line or set a limit, while they may balk and complain, under it all is the foundation that you are doing what you do because you care about them.
To be honest, there were days when my oldest girls were teenagers (my youngest isn't there yet) when I worried I was wasting my time and that they didn't care about me or anything I was teaching them. But with those years behind me, I can assure you that every tough day like that was worth it for the beautiful young women they became.
Don't be afraid to reach out for help and advice. It was good you posted this. As it is said, "There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors".

Jodi - posted on 07/15/2013

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No, it doesn't make you a bad mother. You just need to develop consistent consequences for their behaviour and be really consistent about enforcing them.

Jodi - posted on 07/13/2013

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What are the consequences? If you don't say much, it sounds like there are no consequences, so of COURSE they are going to refuse to do it. You need to set up consequences for their behaviour.

Loretta - posted on 07/13/2013

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I have 3 daughters! Girls can be so mouthy and they can be really hard on mommies! I don't know how old your daughters are, but you are the mom and while you cannot "make" them do anything, you can make sure they face consequences for their choices. I found it was important for me to set the boundaries for my kids at a point before I was overly frustrated or angry--because once I lost my cool, all was lost. It seems in almost every stage of child development, they are stretching and pushing and testing boundaries. This is not a personal reflection on you--just part of their growing up. How old are your daughters?

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