Don't Llke the High Risk OB Doctor

Molly - posted on 06/10/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Here is my dilemma. I have had two miscarriages at 11-12 weeks. I had some abnormal lab work when I thought I was 15ish weeks but then an ultrasound showed my due date was off by two weeks and I am carrying twins. Since I had the two losses and it looks like the two babies share one placenta, my doctor referred me to a high risk obstetrician in Minneapolis. Derek and I went to see him today and he was not pleasant at all. This is my first pregnancy to go this far and so I had some questions. Not crazy stuff. Just about physical activity, sex and mostly what to be watching for as far as complications. This doctor actually sighed and rolled his eyes at me. I thought I was just being sensitive but Derek agreed that he was not nice to either of us.
I have to decide to stay with this guy or stick with my regular OB. Who I really like and has seen me through the two losses. My current doctor will care for me but he urged me to consider the high-risk doctor based on my history. Do I put up with the rude doctor for the well-being of the babies, or do I stick with a doctor I know, like and trust? I don't want to be foolish and would like some opinions. I would consider seeing the high-risk doctor's partner but the nurse was pretty firm that the one doctor should follow my case for the duration of the pregnancy. My doctor has be see everyone in his practice at least one time so the partners won't be strangers. This doctor said since I will probably have to have a c-section, that only he needs to see me.

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Sarah - posted on 06/11/2016

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I am pretty sure she said mono placental which is the only way to know if they are identical, the sac and the chorion aren't always clear at 14-15 weeks or whenever that US fro nuchal thickness got done.

Sarah - posted on 06/11/2016

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This is a good point. Even sharing the placenta can be the cause for some complications. Have a heart to heart with your doc and maybe he can refer to you to a different high-risk practice. If you live near a large city, there will be more than one. When you have your next US, probably at 20 weeks, you will get more information about the babies and whether they are:
Dichorionic/Diamniotic : each twin has his/her own placenta, chorion and amniotic sac
Monochorionic/Diamniotic: twins share placenta and chorionic sac but have their own amniotic sac
Monoamniotic/Monochorionic : twins share placenta, chorionic and amniotic sac.
This final pairing of sharing everything is the rarest and does have a high rate of complications. I am not trying to scare you, I know you are nervous enough, but really talk to your doctor about this. Ask him if you were his own daughter or spouse, what would he do. If you have a good rapport with the man, he will be frank with you. As a nurse ins L&D I have often had patients struggling to make decisions; be it internal monitoring, breaking the waters, getting an epidural, whether to proceed with a c-section. I never owuld give my own true feelings, unless a couple was really asking "if this was you, what would you do?" In that instance it is ethical for a medical professional to say, "if this were me or my child, I would do this because of a,b and c." So have this talk with your doctor.
If you do need to see a high-risk guy, you do not have to stick with the first one you saw, even if you simply want to see his partner. You and your spouse are in control of this decision.

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Molly - posted on 06/27/2016

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Thanks for asking. so far so good- work has been quite hectic and derek and i took a short trip to Maine. i am almost 20 weeks now and the changes are happening fast. i went from showing a little to obviously pregnant in what seemed a few days- the babies are wiggling a bit now too. no mistaking it anymore. when i lay very still on my back derek can even see the tiny bump, bump and feel it ever so slightly. i will be having another scan this week and hope to find out the gender of the babies. then the scans will be more frequent to rule out complications. thanks for checking on us!

Sarah - posted on 06/27/2016

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How are you and your family doing? We have not heard from you in a few weeks, I hope all is well.

Molly - posted on 06/11/2016

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Dove is right the only ultrasound i had done, the radiologist wrote: "a monozygotic pregnancy, no evidence of fused placenta, placenta is intact within normal limits for dates, two intact umbilical cords are seen, no evidence of shared cord or fused cord, two fetal poles are visible within the same gestational sac indicative of a monoamniotic,monochorionic gestation" then are tons of sizes of different things and those sizes are what switched my due date to November 16. it is a foreign language to me. The high risk guy said the risk of tangled cords and twin to twin transfusion is about 50% and i was lucky they were not conjoined-- that made me feel even worse. i felt like he was like-- well this is the way the cookie crumbles, instead of saying-- i will try to get you all thru this safely. derek and i talked it over with our parents and we spoke with our priest and we are going to stick with the high-risk doctor. i will still see my own doctor a few more times before this guy takes over everything and by then hopefully i will have gotten to know him. what is most important is whomever is most experienced in dealing with this sort of pregnancy and has the best outcomes. I would have had the baby (if it was one) at a local hospital but now I will deliver at University of Minnesota Masonic Children's Hospital, which has a really good intensive care unit for babies. they deliver babies as early as 22 weeks there, that is just over a month from now- being a numbers person THAT is freakin me out. per the new doctor my goal is 30-32, 34 being huge success and really wanting them at least 28 weeks. the most frustrating thing for me is there is nothing i can do to make anything better. laying in bed will not make the cords not tangle, and one twin may get more nutrients that the other but the doc did say something about the cords being at "distal" ends of the placenta, which is a good thing. at least derek is calm as can be-- nothing really throws that guy! Thanks both of you-

Dove - posted on 06/11/2016

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I thought she said they were mono/mono before which is why I mentioned it. ♥

Dove - posted on 06/11/2016

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If the babies are actually sharing the same sac... you are likely going to need the knowledge of the high risk OB. I would be very cautious if your own doctor recommended it and you choose against seeing him.

Molly - posted on 06/10/2016

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Thanks that helps-- yes my doctor is a regular OB doctor. he did the surgery to help me finish the last miscarriage-- he is very kind and patient as well.

Sarah - posted on 06/10/2016

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Ultimately if your doctor who you like is a Board Certified Obstetrician, he is qualified to care for you during this pregnancy. The referral to a high-risk doc is sort of standard as you do qualify for high risk. If your regular doc is a Family Practice specialist then I'd suggest you go to at least an OB. If you feel safe and your doctor makes you feel comfortable and safe then I'd stay with the doctor you prefer. Your visits are going to be more and more frequent and if you don't like or trust your doctor, you will be less likely to be forthcoming with questions or even afraid to call him if you think something is wrong. If something becomes a problem with your health in the coming weeks, maybe you can reconsider your choice. If there is an issue with the babies you'd be sent to a perinatologist, that is a doctor who deals with just babies before and during birth. If you live near Minneapolis I have sure there are good specialists at the hospital

Jodi - posted on 06/10/2016

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So is your regular doctor who saw you your losses an OB as well? I had two miscarriages, and then a high risk pregnancy (combination of my age and the size of the baby.....super tiny measurements) but I just saw a regular OB.

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