Done

Polly - posted on 02/18/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

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@Shawn The last 'mom' who replied has proven to me that it is parents are blind to bullying. Your attitude poisonous and out of line. I was being conversational in what I though was a safe forum of adults. I'm thinking you are a bully.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/20/2016

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Oh, well, I do have to say that your second paragraph pretty much put me off wanting to read further.

When an adult refers to a CHILD as "dumb as a box of hammers and the runt of the litter", there's an issue, and its not with your daughter. Good grief, if you speak like that in front of your own child, no wonder she puts up with harassment from others! After all, if it's ok for your mother to speak like that about others, then it's ok for others to speak demeaningly about her.

The best a person can do is focus on the positive about themselves, and be ready and willing to turn in those who harass her. It helps if others witness the behaviour. You going in second hand with information that she's given you and demanding results is not effective. You weren't there, you didn't witness, and the victim is not willing to come forward.

Perhaps, once the adults in her life figure out how to not speak demeaningly about others, and start working on the positives with her, things will improve. I would recommend a good therapist who works well with those with self esteem issues.

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Rita - posted on 02/20/2016

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My child who is about a year or so (she's turning 14 this year) is autistic and is bullied by peers too. She has a "best friend" who is five years older than she is, and I understand that younger/older kids may not judge you the way that your peers do.
If the school is responding to the bullying, I'd let it go but be there for her when she needs it. Be aware of the fact that her schoolmates may "seem" like they stopped harassing her, but tweens/teens have the "secret lives" of social media where they set up fake accounts to target on one person. (Your daughter may not tell you this!)

Sarah - posted on 02/18/2016

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Very true. We can't control how people treat us, just how we react to them. The more she focuses on the few who are kind and ignores those who are unkind, the better.

Dove - posted on 02/18/2016

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As long as the school keeps addressing the incidents... I'd let it go. If she has some friends and the bullies don't bother her that much, you kind of have to let her figure things out for herself. Absolutely step in if she is being assaulted or stolen from, but otherwise just be her safe place to vent and encourage her towards the people who like and accept her the way she is. If she wants you to intervene... then go w/ her and help her speak up to the teachers/administrators about the situations.

There are a LOT of jerks in the world... at every age. The best a person can do is to focus on the positives of people and avoid (as much as possible) the negativity.

Sarah - posted on 02/18/2016

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If she has been physically assaulted, then this may be over her head and you may need to step in and address the principal. did you call the police when this child stole from your home? Or at least call her parents? Verbal abuse, as well cannot be tolerated and those kids need to face consequences. Not taking action when she was pushed into traffic, or to confront a thief is not modeling how to stand up for what is right.
Have you looked for friendships outside of school? If she is into art, then maybe an art class will expose her to like minded peers.The tides change quickly in junior high, the popular girl one day is out the next, but it sounds like the kids in her class aren't really friend material.

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