downward spiral 10 months of hell

Milan - posted on 07/26/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




I have always imagined myself having children eventually...with the man I love. Not a fairytale, but atleast happy was my fantasy. I am mommy to a wonderful 10 month old baby, I feel a bit bamboozled! I have been in a serious relationship for 4 years now, it has been rocky to say the least and it has turned to pure hell since my pregnancy. He was charming, caring, attentive thats all out the door now. I feel completely unattractive, and worthless reality is setting in that maybe he did want children just not with me. From his comments about me not being beautiful, to his demanding me to wait on him like a king, his secrect porn obsession, his daily anger outburst over everything, and being a jerk nonstop. Its frustrating, because not only does he not treat me well, but he helps very little with our son. But, expects me to put on a happy face when we go to events and gatherings with his family.
He says he still loves me but I feel all he does is try to give me a reason to leave. To make matters worst, he has been unemployed most of this year.. so we have relied on my savings. Whatefer little money he has made, goes to himself. Which has been the cause of bad arguments. I feel so out of options, stuck even if I were to find a way to support myself am I being selfish for leaving? And not letting my child grow up with a 2 parent household? Help!

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