Dumped after finding out I was pregnant

Miss - posted on 11/12/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi,

I'm 26 yrs of age, I'm 34 weeks pregnant. My baby's father dumped me when I told him I was pregnant. He told me he wasn't ready for a second child (he has a daughter with his ex wife). My son is due in a few weeks and it breaks my heart that he will not have a relationship with his father, or half sister for that matter. What hurts me the most is that he takes care of his daughter but wants nothing to do with my unborn child. He is now trying to work things out with his ex wife ( who cheated on him with his best friend). I want to forgive him for leaving me when I needed him the most but for the most part I want to forgive him for neglecting his responsibilities.

I'm finding it hard to forgive him and I do not want to be bitter for the sake of my son. He doesn't deserve it. Please help. Is the anyone who's been through similar experiences?

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The thing you have to always remember when dealing with other people is that you cannot trust them, and you cannot allow them to become so important to you that their actions (or lack of action) becomes important to your own happiness.

You can't control him or what he does, you can only control your own emotions and actions. He is just another person, so whether he wants to parent your child or not, should not matter to you. You don't need to forgive him for anything, just push him to the sidelines and deal with him on a non-emotional level while you move on with your own life.

Forgiveness is HARD. I'm struggling with it myself right now, because for the first time in my life, I need to forgive someone who I cannot just force out of the emotional perimeter of my life (I have a commitment to emotionally support this person, it's complicated, but you don't have that with this guy). I can't tell you how to forgive him, but I honestly don't see any reason why you need to keep him in your life on an emotional level. File for child support and visitation and move on without him. In the future, do not give him the power to hurt you again by depending on him for any kind of relationship. You don't need a romantic relationship to be a good parent to your child.

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Sarah - posted on 03/01/2017

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Bastian, this post is sort of old, so I don't know if you will hear for the OP. However, for legal reasons you should absolutely put him of the BC. To leave him off will only make things complicated for your child in the future. While you cannot force him to parent, you can file for child support. That is his obligation to his child.

Sunnygoodstreets - posted on 02/28/2017

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Hey I'm 40 and just found dead out I was pregnant all. Osteoporosis 3 moths ago... my bf said I had to choose between him and the baby because he had 3 kids already is 45 and will be 65 when the kids is 20 and doesn't want to be a partlent anymore. I picked the baby which made him mad and he left me. I have two little ones of my own from a failed past relationship and I'm in a high risk situation and he knows all this still he chooses to walk away leaving me with all the responsibility and no remorse because he believes in am making a mistake.he has cut me off all links of communication. Your not alone. I'm mad as he'll that he would make me pick that he would leave us for dead. And wish me luck ..more so that his family is soon used to women coming to them with this same sorry they could care less. .I could never take him back that's the ultimate betrayal to me and his child to be....and he's moved on that very day it would appear with a girl who's my very clone...he sees his other daughter every second weekend and would move mountains to be with her...but his eldest wants nothing to do with him and the other child well he has little to do with...I too am mad..that he could love one and not the others...I'm not sure what to do about the birth certificate as it needs his permission...but it is child..what do I do

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