Emergency Housing Assistance

Tina - posted on 05/12/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )




Hi I am writing on behalf of my 26 year old daughter with two kids ages 2 and 3. She had a legal issue that prevented her from meeting her Ex-husband (she filed for divorce last year) one time for their visitation exchange and now he will not let her take the kids to her new residence because she has a new boyfriend. I have told her that is not legal because they have a custody agreement and to take him back to court. She would prefer to get her own place. Here is the problem she is on public assistance, has no job and is only living with her boyfriend cause she cant afford housing on the little money she receives. The welfare office says they will help her with move in cost, but the rent can't be more than 85% of what her income. We are in California does anyone know of a program that can help her. Yeterday, (Mothers Day) was the first time she was allowed to see them since March 28. She wants to work but child care is expensive, between public assistance and child support she receives less than $700 per month.


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Tina - posted on 05/12/2014




Here is a little more clarification, she was working and paying child care while living with me. She only needed the child care for two days but had to pay for five, the kids dad would not take the kids the days he had them so social services would not pay. The kids where not sleeping throught the night and their dad was constantly messing with her. He would call her all day everyday either cussing her out, begging her to take him back and even threating to have his girlfriend jump on her. He would call saying he was on the way to family functions that he was not invited to and he would take any information he could find out from mutual friends and harrass her bout it also she became extremely stressed, wasn't eating, wasn't sleeping cause the kids weren't sleeping and could not work. Because she is on public assistance so she can not afford a lawyer, and legal aid wont help her cause she doesn't have any income (that's what they said to her and me when I called cause that didn't sound right) and he wasn't kicking her A**. His lawyer is his mothers boyfriend/former divorce lawyer and when we tried to bring the issues to the courts attention the lawyer would appear on his behalf so he was never reprimanded. They told us to document the issues so we had the Sheriff's office come do a civil stand by and witness his behavior and write a report. When we went to get the report so we could submit it to the court we were told the sheriff's office had the discretion of determining if we could have it.

She even started seeing a therapist

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/12/2014




She needs to revisit this with her attorneys. If she's not the primary custodian, why is she receiving support? If she IS primary custodian, and her ex is withholding the children, and she's got court orders, why has she not pursued the issue with the courts?

SHE needs to take some responsibility here. SHE needs to contact her attorney, provide proof of violation of custody orders, and get a court date set.

She also needs to pursue whatever avenues are available to her, instead of making excuses about why she can't.

You, mom, can guide her, but don't do everything for her. It doesn't help her figure out how to be responsible on her own. Yes, I ask my mother, and MIL for advice all the time, but I am the one who takes the steps, and I'm a pretty pushy, proactive woman. In order to NOT get walked all over in this world, one has to be willing to stand up for themselves.

Best of luck to your daughter in getting things sorted.

Jodi - posted on 05/12/2014




I'm confused. She hasn't seen her kids since March, but she can't work because child care is expensive....but they aren't currently in her care. What does dad do with them while he is at work? Surely, if she filed all correct legal documentation, he would be partially responsible for child care. If there are court orders saying the children reside with her, then he cannot legally withhold them, she could file contempt. Also, are there child support orders?

I agree with you, she should take him back to court for withholding her children. He has no right to dictate who she may or may not live with unless it is in the court orders that he can.

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