[deleted account] ( 10 moms have responded )
Hi, my name is Christy and I am the proud mother of two beautiful children, ages 3 and 15 month, boy and girl. Ive been in a relationship now for 2 almost 3 years and things have started to get rocky. I happened to come across a video on youtube about emotionally abusive relationships. I started thinking about all the times that my boyfriend has yelled at me and what it was really for. Im in an emotionally abusive relationship. I have no friends, no family, Im always restricted to the house. He yells at me over the littlest things, like this morning he couldnt find his wallet before he left for work, and presumed it was my fault he couldnt find it. Hes called me things( exuse my language ladies), a retarted bitch, and asks me whats wrong with me. I barely get any attention from him anymore, in the bedroom area, hes always focusing on the things that I dont get done rather than the things that I do get done. He expects to come home to a clean house dinner and I understand thats my job as a housewife and a mother but he takes it a step too far. The slightest thing that doesnt get done he makes the bigest deal out of it like hes looking for a fight. Weve gotten into some fights in the past and hes left and went to bars, i think its just an excuse to leave. Hes always on porn sites all the time. What makes it really bad is he tries to hide it and hes hiding that from me then what else is he trying to hide. A lot of the times I have to lie to him about certain things because he gets really pissed off about something and he yells at me for lying. When I try to tell him the reason why, he gets defensive and doesnt want to talk about it anymore, like hes avoiding my feelings about the situaton and he dont care. Im here all by myself. I have no friends, no family here, noone to talk to to help me through times like this. Im always living in fear of when the next time hes gonna get mad at me and start yelling. He was with a woman before me and he was together with her for 9 years and he started cheating on her after about 3 years they were together. Is he substituting the porn for cheating? Its worse in my book. Hes always telling me who he wants me to talk to and who he doesnt want me to talk to. Ive left him before and went home to my family hoping he would realize and stop. I want out of this relationship so bad but if I do then its the fear that hes is gonna take my little girl away from me. The little boy isnt his, I already had him when I him.. Hes always asking me about screwing around onn him, paranoid that I am when I dont go anywhere and if I do,if im a minute late, then hes accusing me of cheating. He walks around looking for things to complain about. I think I need some time on my own to figure out what I need and want for myself. Do I stay and put up with the fear of this everyday, he says he would never hit me but I heard that from my sons father and he put his hands on me twice, so I dont believe those words that come out of any mans mouth anymore. Do I stay and put up with the heartache and end up only causing my self deep depression and keep putting my children throught this, risk loosing my daughter to him. Or do I leave and live my life fearless, the way I want to live it without someone telling me what do or say all the time? I really need some advice on this becaus leaving, this man will make it hard on me and he will try to make my life a living hell.