Emotional Exhaustion

Patti - posted on 04/24/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am constantly in the middle of arguments between my 20 year old son and my husband. My son is bipolar and his emotions are extremely sensitive. My husband pretty much doesn't buy into the bipolar diagnosis so he doesn't see or understand how much he hurts my son when they argue. And, they argue over everything, especially money. I try not to take sides, and I see what their arguing does to each of them. It continually breaks my heart, and I'm left an emotional wreck. I have absolutely no energy or the desire to do anything. I don't have anything left to give to them, let alone, myself. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so tired . . .

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Patti - posted on 04/24/2014

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Thank you for your response. You're exactly right about my husband not believing in counseling. There is no way he will go to a counselor, cuz he isn't the one with the problem. I'm thinking of going tho. My son handles his emotions better than he used to, but he's currently going thru opiate withdrawl (for the 3rd time). He's been clean for over a month, and God willing, this will be the last time. So, needless to say he's dealing with a lot, and is getting stronger every day. I love my husband (and, yes he's the bio dad) and the only thing we fight about is our son. I'm just not sure how much more I can endure. It's been 20 years of disagreements about how to raise our son. I thought it would be over by now.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 04/24/2014

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Your husband needs to pull his head out of his ass, and your son may need to learn how to better manage his condition.

Bipolar can be difficult to manage, but if you stay up on meds, and monitor your condition adequately you can live just as fulfilling a life as one who isn't bipolar. There are always going to be situations where your son is going to feel at a disadvantage. He needs to learn how to handle those situations.

Your husband, on the other hand, has a completely manageble condition called headinass syndrome. Is he the boy's biological father? Even if he's not, he needs to learn how to shut up and back off, rather than escalating a situation. Men like that will generally tell you that counseling is a crock of shit as well, but my recommendation is that he get some counseling to help him handle his reaction to his son.

You tell them both that you are no longer mediating. That if they cannot resolve their differences in an adult manner without arguing, then they need to each remove themselves from the situation until they can both calmly discuss the issue. They're both adults now, and they both need to act like it.

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