Emotional Single Mom

Heather - posted on 12/02/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My Husband suddenly left me and our daughter about 3 months ago. He is still in her life and stays with us every weekend. This was not a mutual decision and came out of left field. I am still in love with him and I would love nothing more than to reconcile but he refuses counselling and says it's done and I need to move on. I still have hope we can be a family again, I want this so badly for all of us. Our daughter is so happy to have him home on the weekend and everything seems normal again. I'm not ready to let go. The reason he comes here for the weekend is because he is currently living with his mother and her places is unsafe for our daughter. Every day is a struggle we both miss him so much and just want him home. I can barely cope with my own emotions and I'm struggling to pick up the pieces for our daughter. It's breaks my heart to hear her cry for her daddy, I'm terrified how this will affect her, she's only 3 and her whole world has been torn apart. I have the weight of the world on my shoulders and I don't know what to do or what is best for her. Can you share your experiences and give me some advice Mommies?

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Heather - posted on 12/02/2014

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We get along perfectly fine, I would say we even have fun at times it's only when I get emotional or our daughter gets emotional that he want to leave because he doesn't want to face all of the feelings. It's all so confusing, I've suggested he stay in the mean time and he says he doesn't want to get my hopes up. Currently our daughter is under the impression that he is at work and I've noticed she has been upset with me when I go to work, I guess she is associating work with taking her daddy away and doesn't want the same to happen with me. It's so unfair for her. There isn't anyone else in the picture that I know of and is he spending Friday-Sunday here which doesn't leave much time for someone else. I'm having so much trouble wrapping my head around all of this, to me it seems like he's facing a "mid life crisis" although he's no where close to that age bracket.

Sarah - posted on 12/02/2014

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If you get along fine on the weekends, and he can't afford his own place, then why doesn't he just stay living with you until he can afford his own place? I have seen couple that can't hardly stand each other live together because it the best financial choice.
Is there another woman involved? Because the in and out is not fair to you or your child.

Heather - posted on 12/02/2014

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He can't financially afford a place of his own yet, so I either let him come here and spend quality time with her or she gets bounced around at either a mall or a restaurant to see her Daddy. Would that be less confusing? I don't know :( I committed to seeking counselling without him, I just want some real world advice too.

Sarah - posted on 12/02/2014

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If your husband is choosing to leave you than you need to stop letting him move in and out. He need to get his own place and you two need to work out a visiation schedlue. the more grown up and amicalbe you can both be the better for your daughter.
What on earth must she be thinking? Daddy's back! Daddy's gone! Hurray! Boo!
How confusing and unfair. If he is refusing couseling, then go for yourself and your child. If your marriage can't be reparied then it is best to get it over with, your daughte will be alright. There are many kids with divorced parents out there.

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