Empty Nest

Rhonda - posted on 12/04/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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My youngest daughter is graduating from high school this year and is moving away to college. I am already starting to feel the pains of empty nest. I am single, don't make a lot of money and live in a small community where there is not a lot to do. I have had kids in my house for over half my life. I don't know how to move on from that. Any suggestions?

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Judy - posted on 12/05/2009

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It's been awhile since my boys grew up and left home, but I remember well how it feels. This normal process, or stage, in one's life is inevitable if you're a parent and, unless you haven't bonded well with your children, the feeling borderlines mourning the loss of someone dear to you. It does get better, I promise you. Time, will open your feelings and eyes up to an entirely different chapter in your life that will engage you in a whole new identity. You'll find "who you really are" and make the most of it. If there's not a lot to do in your community, be proactive. I suggest, like a previously mentioned idea, that you join or start a book/movie/art/scrape-book/exercise/ social, anything you're interested in doing, club. Or, start your own business and make it your new baby. Everybody has something to give, you just need to to find out what it is. And, one more thing, I have found through the years that keeping a journal everyday, writing down my thoughts and feelings has been very therapeutic; like having a best friend. You'll be amazed at what you discover about yourself. Good luck ... and welcome to this wonderful new chapter in your life!

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Glenda - posted on 07/21/2014

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https://www.eventbrite.com/e/empty-nest-moms-3-keys-thriving-in-the-midst-of-change-tickets-11961789033 you are invited to be heard and supported at a Teleclass I too am an empty next mom. I want to welcome you to the possibility of a wonderful life despite what's going in with your life. It was meant for you to write this. Blessings to you. Click on link for details. All empty nest moms are invited

Myrna - posted on 12/08/2009

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I feel the same way,but someone said when that time comes just keep yourself busy & live 1 day at a time , go out with friends,

Guen - posted on 12/08/2009

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ughhhh,I am going through this,too,Rhonda,and its worse cuz my son has chosen the "wrong path" and I pray for all of us,empty-nesters,that miss our kids,and are worried about them,which to me is an added grief! ♥ Guen

Rhonda - posted on 12/07/2009

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Thank you so much ladies!!!! These have all been great ideas!! Now, I am going to add a twist.... Just found out that my oldest daughter may be going to Afghanistan. If she goes, I will have her 2 year old and 3 year old while she is gone.

Padricka - posted on 12/07/2009

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Rhonda what you are feeling is very normal. But what you need to do is to surround yourself with support and good friends and start to live, I mean we as mom's put everyone's needs before our own and maybe because you had a daughter and wanted to put of dating and focus on her. its ok you have been a mom so long and now when you are finaly free you don't know what to do, Mingle sign up for dating websites and go to the Mall even if it means alone, Treat yourself find you all over again, and it will have fall in to place and Pray Pray about it as well. You only live once all the kids are grown get out and let your hair down you deserve it.

Dee - posted on 12/06/2009

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Do some volunteering at a place of your choice. Day care, Caring Pregnancy Center... Lots of options out there to meet new people while helping too.

LIsa - posted on 12/05/2009

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I felt the same way when my son moved away to college. Single, and he was my only child. I had a career working in automotive, which was fine, but I felt a little stir crazy without my son. I just begin to do things on my own, lunch, movies and shopping. At first I didn't want to be around my family or friends, they made fun of me missing my son. But after the first year things got better, I begin to get use to him not living at home. Now he's a junior, but decided to stay at home and go to school. Whoa! just when I got use to him being away. lol.... You have to find things that you like to do and capitalize on that until you find something that will keep you busy. Maybe go back to school yourself, it will defintely keep you busy. I have two masters myself, and working on a third. I find school soothing and rewarding, and it keeps my mind busy.. Just somethoughts and suggestions.. You will be fine!!

Carrol - posted on 12/05/2009

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START GOING TO CHURCH AND MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS KEEP YOUR SELF BUSY IT HELPS IF YOU HAD A FRIEND YOU CAN DO THINGS TOGETHER GO FOR WALKS, TALK, IT HELPS SO YOU WONT FEEL SO LONELY. IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO GET A LIFE NOW.

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Do something that you've always wanted to do for yourself but couldn't because your child always came first. Hobbie, job change, trip. Don't forget she will be wanting to be home on breaks and holidays. Then when school is over and she is graduated, she'll be around again. Getting a pet is a great idea for something to care for and talk to if you don't plan on travelling. Adopt from your local animal shelter.
It won't be an empty nest for very long. My last two are out of the house, but my grandbabies are here a lot. Babysitters don't come cheap, but grandmas do! LOL, don't worry, enjoy some time for yourself because it's just temporary.

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Have your daughter invite her friends from college home to your house for weekends of fellowship and home cooked meals. Make sure she answers your phone calls and text during the weekend. When you are missing her terribly, go ahead and call her. Just a few minutes of hearing her voice will help alot.

Diane - posted on 12/04/2009

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Rhonda,
I have a moblie spa and go around pampering and helping woman feel good about themselves. Its also been the best thing for me I get out, have fun , make friends and really good money too. email me if your interested in hearing more....diwroten@yahoo.com

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I'd love you to check out my website and go to the Be A Stylist section (www.stelladot.com/emmagreengrass) - it's a fun and very flexible way to earn some extra money on your schedule - and meet LOTS of new people! Not to mention the irresistible jewelry! Doesn't hurt to look...let me know if it interests you. It could be just what you're looking for ! Meeting some new people in surrounding communities AND having fun and earning some extra cash at the same time. This company, believe it or not, was created for women like you (and me, which is why I'm doing it!)
Good luck, whatever you decide :)

Tiffany - posted on 12/04/2009

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Try taking a class of something your intrested in like cooking, bead making, pottery, dancing. There you would most likely meet more moms like you or just people to network with.

Catherine - posted on 12/04/2009

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What about taking up a course at college. Learn new skills and meet new people too.

Natasha - posted on 12/04/2009

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Any hobbies you like??? or do?? Joining a bookclub or movie club...or even creating one! My Aunt is 51 and still single...she has created her own + 35 single evenings where they get together and mingle....it sounds like loads of fun!! ( everybody pays there own way)

Lot of luck

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