empty nest,feeling sad.

Shirley - posted on 09/19/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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nearly 2 years since my daughter left home and i just feel so sad and useless.

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Snowangel97 - posted on 09/20/2016

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I think you're right! This new way of life is an adjustment for all involved.I'm so glad to hear that you're going to a church and making connections there! That's the best way to persevere through challenging times- human connections! Good luck my friend!

Shirley - posted on 09/20/2016

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Hi E Kane,thank you for getting back to me,thanks for your lovely comments,your right i am more than just a mum! im so pleased your getting your life back on track.i think its like grief as it just felt like a black hole to begin with,like when i lost my mum a few years ago,and as they say time is a great healer,we dont forget ever but we start to live in a different way.

Shirley - posted on 09/20/2016

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Hi Snowangel, thankyou for your reply.it helps just to know im not alone with my feelings.i do try and keep myself busy,but sometimes it all just builds up again,its like going through grief really,its the same feelings.i have been to counseling and yes it did help. i started going to church and i have made some new friends,i guess its just time and getting used to a new way of life.

Snowangel97 - posted on 09/19/2016

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Oh Shirley! I'm so sorry that you're struggling with this, but understand where you're coming from. My only child left this year for college and it's been a rough transition. I think keeping yourself busy is really a step in the right direction! I made a "empty nest bucket list" of all the things I could accomplish with the extra time of not having my son around. Do you think taking a small step like that could help? What about speaking with a pastor or counselor? Do you have a church home or small group of friends that you could connect with?

E - posted on 09/19/2016

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I know how you feel. My daughter left for college 2 years ago and during a messy divorce no less...I found myself in a serious depression, for a multitudes of "losses" happening at once. I was also working full time, and not really "Living" or taking care of my own feelings. I knew I needed help, but did not want the stigma. I started going to a therapist, and faced the loss head on, and talked about it ALOT, to the point I was a broken record. I started realizing yes I had loss, yes I am in pain. I had to go through it until I began feeling like,... Ok what next? Yes I am a sad MOM, but there are so many more dimensions to me, why not re-open those parts of me that have been dormant or at least have been hyper focused for 18 years on my precious daughter? and direct it in other areas of my life. Thats what I did....I turned my life upside down, I have a different job, a new lifestyle, and yes still sad over my daughter leaving home but, she knows where I live if she needs me. In the meantime there is more life to live, I started out on the journey not knowing where I would end up...and I would not have it any other way...I had so many wonderful surprises along the way, I could have never predicted!! Your not just a MOM, you are a strong woman with from what it sounds like much more to still give the world.

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