Empty Nester of New College Student Trying to Find Myself Again

Shay - posted on 08/10/2017 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have been raising my daughter alone for the pass 17years. Like some moms she was my whole world. My life was all about sacrificing to make sure she had what she need. In 9th grade she had trouble finding friends that had money to do things with her so I start doing thing with her movies, bowling, etc. She was in basketball so all my weekends were dedicated to tournaments. Slowly but surely invites from my friends dropped off and I was always with my daughter. We were two peas in a pod. It didn't bother me I loved being a friend to her because some of her friends had bad home lives or parents didn't let them go places as long as I was paying for them. Fast forward to Senior year. She is coming into her own, hanging out with her friends going to watch movies I didn't go see because I'm waiting for us to see them together. So I started seeing she doesn't need me anymore. Now she's leaving for school and everyone is telling me you need to do what you like, what you want to do you have given all your time to her. Well problem is I DONT KNOW WHAT I LIKE TO DO ANYMORE. I know they mean well but its not an automatic thing for me to think of myself. I have changed so much, I am 42 now so the stuff I did back then isn't fun to me anymore. I am embarking on a life transition and I cant even think of what I like to do for fun. I feel stupid when people ask me and I cant tell them. Any moms out there that's been through this and have some advice on how I can find me again???

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Rene - posted on 08/13/2017

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First, congrats on the great job you did raising an awesome daughter on your own! That's a tremendous accomplishment! There will be more wonderful times with your daughter ahead as she grows and passes through the life stages. I have two grown daughters and get to enjoy them together once every three or four weeks. They're busy being adults, of course, and that's good and healthy. But I'm their mom and they always come to be for comfort and guidance as needed (which I love!).

The first thing that popped into my mind reading your post was wondering whether you've considered volunteering as a mentor to children or teenagers? I've heard of Big Sisters, but there are probably more. Maybe that is your niche in life, the thing the provides you with your brand of fun?

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