Engaged to great man, with three children.

Michelle - posted on 08/22/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




My fiancee and I have been together almost a year. We both love each other very much and we both feel very connected. I do not have any children, but he has three kids- ages 4,8,11. the younger two we have shared parenting with, and the third every other weekend. He has good communication for the children with both exes and is a good dad. My problem is, everyone around me, mostly just family, is warning me about marrying into three children. I am 25 and he is 31 and we plan to marry next summer. Getting my parents on board with this has been difficult, because they do not like the fact that he has so many kids. he is willing to have more kids with me, when I'm ready (currently in nursing school, so would prefer to wait a little bit). I am very involved with the children, and do have them frequently on my days off from work or school, but he is very good about taking them to babysitter if I have plans or need a break, which I appreciate. I guess I just need an unbiased opinion on this.


Sarah - posted on 08/22/2014




They see the trails and challenges with the relationship. Marrying someone that has children from a prior relationship makes it harder and more complicated and if he has had children with more then one prior relationship that makes is even more riskier. The divorce rate for those that marry after 1 prior relationship is about 50% and then it rises to 80% when there have been 2 prior relationships. That does not say yours will be that percent, but it does say that it is VERY hard and there are lots of complications when you marry someone with 3 prior relationships with kids. Then if you do have kids of your own that makes the relationship even more complicated and most times those end in divorce. There are so many issues that enter into the relationship....things right now you will say will never happen, but end up happening. My suggestion is to wait at least another year before marrying. Really evaluate the situation. You may love him, but the situation may not be fun to live in long term. Your family is not on board because they see the issues and complications and the HIGH risk and the hurt you would feel.

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