Engaged with single dad obsessed with his daughter

Ida - posted on 02/16/2016 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I am frustrated with the relationship I'm in. My step daughter doesn't let us go out alone not even Valentines . I can't remember the last time we had sex. She doesn't let him out without her. He picked me up for Valentines and he brought her with us. No romance at all. He lets her have all the control and caters to her each time we are together.

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Sarah - posted on 02/16/2016

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Ok, so are you ok with that or not. This is who he is and how he wants to do things. Part of dating is figuring out if this is the guy you want. So is this what you want? If it is no then discuss it with him letting him know where you stand. If he wants/ feels it is important to continue how he is then move onto the next guy that might be a better fit for you.

Michelle - posted on 02/16/2016

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I did post this one of the other posts you had made but will post it here:

So you need to decide if you want to stay in the relationship or walk away.
I agree that it's not healthy for her to be acting that way but not knowing her background I can't really comment on it.
Don't give him an ultimatum though. If he's happy to let her be like that then you can't change it.
Be honest with him and let him know how you feel though but you need to make that choice.

Raye - posted on 02/16/2016

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I agree with Sarah, 100%.

Also, I don't know how long you've been dating this guy, but (until you're married) the child is not your step-child.

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Ida - posted on 02/21/2016

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I finally did it. Today was the day. I ended it. We didn't argue . I did it over the phone and said sweet heart it's over between us. You will find someone new and I hung up. He didn't call back. So we wanted the same thing . Funny thing is I am not sad

Sarah - posted on 02/18/2016

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Again then you need to make a choice. You are not going to change the situation. So decide if this is what you want or if it is time to move on. He has decided how he wants his life, so choose how you want yours. You are not a victim.....if you want different then choose different.

Ida - posted on 02/18/2016

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They have joint custody but the mother rarely has picked up the daughter . I am fed up and need to get out. The relationship isn't beneficial to me at all. Not emotionally, physically , or mentally. I am constantly feeling alone and envious of other couples who are happy and in love.

Sarah - posted on 02/18/2016

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How old is this child and isn't there a custody order in place. A child can't just choose to move in with the other parent. This girl is ruling the roost and you've been waiting for it to change for three years? Wake up.

Ida - posted on 02/17/2016

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Well she tends to threaten to go back to her mother if he leaves her behind . So like a scared puppy he listens to her. I proved to him he needs to do what I do when I ask her to do something. For example she has braces and she wanted to go out . I told her go brush your teeth and we will pick something up for u. I told him that's what u have to do so we can go out . Take her cell phone away and her lap top priveladges. She automatically wants to go back to the mom. Tell her ok well when u go back to her I'm not providing these things for u so your mom can use them or pawn them so get use to not having them now.

Ida - posted on 02/17/2016

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I know the choice I have to make. I've been trying to work on this relationship for 3 years nothing is gonna change. She controls him and he never takes my advice at all. It is an unhealthy relationship. I'm lonely and want companionship.ive threatened to leave him and he always says we belong together and that he doesn't want anyone else . But I am starving for romance. Affection He just doesn't get it.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/16/2016

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There's your sign.

He's indicated that the level of his child's involvement in the relationship will be high.

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