Charlie - posted on 07/25/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )
Hi, I'm realistically hoping for reassurance but am also prepared for home truths. I am 9 weeks today with my miracle, first child. I have always been aware of my fertility issues and have been upfront with my (currently ex) boyfriend. We stopped using contraceptives last September - he was fully aware of this. Whilst he wasn't desperate for a child, we always said that it would be a miracle if we even could and we'd take life as it comes. About three or four months ago I had a major bleed at work and this compounded my anxiety about never becoming a mother. My partner was very supportive and encouraging and insisted that I began a formal investigation. This straight away revealed very damaged, poly cystic ovaries. Miraculously and completely unbeknown to us, I was just pregnant at the time of this scan. Queue a month of constant cramping and mood swings, thinking this was down to pcos. He went away to a wedding for a weekend and came back distant. Three and a half weeks ago, he announced that he felt the spark had gone from our relationship. I've been cheated on before, girls, so I knew the score. Two days later we find out we're 6 weeks gone. He went apoplectic and I sent him to his sisters for the weekend. He came back and for two weeks did everything he could to look after me and be supportive, even though he was still in a huge amount if shock. I really respect him for that. We were intimate again, and I felt unbelievably blessed. Cue "wedding reunion weekend" (just gone). Not a single text. He came home "unable to look at me." Challenged him about a named girl ( plenty of fb pics of the pair of them having a laugh in the sun). Got told that they get on well but she's nothing to do with it. On Thursday I confronted him as I suspected he'd called her on Wednesday night. He has been evasive, but he's not a liar and confessed that he had and that he might pop and see her this weekend on the way back from staying with another friend. (She lives four hours drive away). I immediately told him to leave and went to stay the night at my friends. He is staying with his sister, who has been amazingly kind and supportive of me. This meant that he was two hours away whilst I saw our baby for the very first scan. Heartbroken.
He made an excuse to return yesterday and was genuinely blindsided by the scan picture, seriously emotional. I stayed really calm and explained that he cannot expect to live in my house and then drive off to see the girl he emotionally cheated on me with at the weekends. He is desperate to find somewhere to live nearby so that he can "look after us" with the hope that he can move back in when I am heavily pregnant to look after me and then the baby, when she comes. I have said that this would be the ideal situation, but that my absolute line on this is that he doesn't do the unspeakably disrespectful step of going to see this girl this weekend. I still genuinely believe that we are not together now because of a flurry of unfortunate and stressful situations and that we could so easily be a happy family when she comes. I'm trying to be strong, because I have had three partners and all have cheated (for three months, for eighteen months and this time) and I know it's because I have low self esteem and give too much of myself, meaning that they end up undervaluing me. I am proud that I sent him packing but am praying that he doesn't cross this line. I need him to give me that. So, upshot, I'm sitting here typing, wishing away the time because I told him to text me on Sunday to inform me whether or not he had paid this 'lady' (she knows the situation, so I cannot imagine what she's thinking!) a visit. Felt really confident yesterday and now feel horrible waiting and wondering what message will arrive tomorrow evening. Anyone else had a partner behaving badly at this time? Does this sound hopeless? Did I do the right thing? Etc etc. thank you for reading this far xxx