Every morning my 11 year old Daughter screams at me

Cris - posted on 10/01/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Every morning my 11 year old Daughter screams at me and calls me horrible names,I am at my wits end, there is no abuse at home and I have tried everything. She acts like a completely spoiled brat. She has been on three different types of medication and none seem to help with this issue. Any new suggestions?

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Ariana - posted on 10/01/2012

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I would tell your daughter that if she refuses to speak to you respectfully she loses a privilage and has to go to her room (if applicable). So if she screams at you she can't watch television for the rest of the day, or she can't go on the internet, won't be allowed at her friends house, no cell phone (although I hope at 11 she doesn't have one but if she does that's a good thing to take away). Even if she yells at you leaves for school and comes back whatever it was that's taken away it stays that way. If she does it late at night take it away for tomorrow, if she screams at you she has to go to her room to calm down and when she comes out if she's screaming again take something else away for the day (or for tomorrow).



Besides that you may want to sit her down and ask her what's going on. Why is she so angry? Ask her if there is some way you two could work things out differently? Do this when she's not screaming or yelling and in a relatively good mood. She may tell you something you didn't know or be able to figure out a different way to speak to you. It sounds like she needs to learn how to communicate properly. If there is some legitimate reason for her yelling you can always tell her, I'll listen if you speak respectfully and then if she continues on THEN give her the consequence and tell her to go to her room.



You might want to join some sort of program with her, trampoline classes, or a mother daughter book club, so that there is an aspect of your relatinship that is FUN instead of you always having to deal with screaming and moodiness. You could take martial arts together which also helps with self-control and self-esteem. Something special just the two of you could do. It's something worth looking into.



If this is getting really bad you might also want to go to a family councellor. A lot of times people can communicate easier (and nicer/more logically) to others when there is an outsider then they do by themselves.



Although you should take your daughters feelings into consideration you do not deserved to be screamed at. If she is screaming at you like this at 11 she's going to be out of control by the time she's 14.

Cris - posted on 10/01/2012

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She has been on a couple of OCD med's and now she is on a low dose of lamictal which is for bi-polar. They also have her taking trazadone at night because otherwise she wont go to sleep till 3 am. Her twin sister doesn't seem to have any of the same issues. How old are you're kid's?

Dove - posted on 10/01/2012

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What is she on meds for? The attitude is fairly normal and common for this age (though it IS unacceptable). Hormones are wicked little buggers and pre-teens are full of them... As for suggestions... sorry, I'm in pre-teen 'hell' myself at the moment. I just pray we all make it out alive at the other end. lol

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