Everybody wants a piece of me..

Lorraine - posted on 08/29/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have three adult children sons 31, 28 and a daughter 24, I also have an 83 year old father who depends on me as my mother, who i was very close to passed away at 59 at a time when i still had young children and I missed her terribly. The boys havent given me too much trouble just the usual things I guess but my daughter is very needy and struggles with many issues that always seem to cause huge problems in her life and mine. She suffers a lot from anxiety after an abusive relationship which at the time effected our whole family for years and thankfully now has a good partner and a new baby. The problem is she is really struggling with her 4 month old due to lack of sleep and also her ongoing anxiety and post traumatic shock from her previous relationship. She rings me telling me shes not coping and I try to do everything possible to help her but it never seems enough, I'm at my wits end as I have my father ringing me most days and now my oldest son is complaining I'm spending too much time with my granddaughter and not enough time with our other grandson. I am completely overwhelmed and feel like I'm being pushed to the edge at the moment, I just want to be left alone and have some peace and quiet but maybe thats too much to expect. Sorry if I sound selfish but its really getting to me lately

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Lorraine - posted on 08/30/2013

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Yes she is seeing a pshycologist, but its early days i dont know whether she is being honest with her about everything because she says she feesl ok when she goes there. I told her to tell her shes not coping because I can only do so much and she might have some information that can help. I wonder sometimes if she is being a drama queen but I cant take the risk that she is, and am worried constantly and losing sleep. I have a husband but he doesnt understand why I worry and he never seems to worry about anything which is not necessarily a good thing. I've been going there twice a week since the baby has been born helping as much as I can but we live an hour away so its a bit of an effort for me to go sometimes

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Is your daughter seeing anyone about her anxiety and post traumatic shock? She should be calling her mental health professional when she is "not coping" instead of you. Her doctors need to be away of triggers for her anxiety and they can usually talk her down and help her more than you can.

Are you married? If so, turn your phone off and take an hour for yourself every single day. If anyone needs you, they can call your husband, but let him know he is not to disturb you for anything other than a life or death emergency (someone is being hospitalized, father has fallen or is having chest pains, that sort of thing). If they are just calling to ask you to bring them something, or because they are stressed out, or "just to chat" it can wait until you are finished and you can call them back.

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