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Sonia - posted on 07/10/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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Hi was wondering my ex partner is not the father to my unborn child, but he really wants to be there for me and my baby girl.
we talked about the name and we set that just wondering is it right to put his lastname in her lastname to?
Is it right to have a different guys name in her Last name? Worried if i just put it on her birth certificate. TIA. :)

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Dove - posted on 07/10/2015

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Falsifying legal documents (which is what a birth certificate is) has the potential for severe legal ramifications... like jail time, losing custody, etc... Don't do it. Your ex partner can certainly be involved in her life and care for her as much as possible, but do NOT falsify legal documents. Your daughter and her biological father also have a right to know each other and have whatever relationship is possible, so make sure you get a court order for custody, visitation, and child support set up as soon as possible.

Michelle - posted on 07/13/2015

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It still doesn't make it right to put your ex as the Father. If you don't know who the Father is then don't put a name on the BC, simple.
Like it has been said, falsifying a legal document is an offence.

Raye - posted on 07/10/2015

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Don't do it. The child's last name should be either the father's last name or yours. Where is the father? What is his opinion? If you need financial help, then go to court and get custody for you, visitation for the father, and file for child support. If you need government assistance, they will want to go after the bio-dad for support anyway.

So, you got pregnant by one guy, have another ex in the mean time, and the baby is not even born yet? Maybe you need to think harder about who you allow in your life... especially when the child is in the picture. You don't want the child getting attached to someone you're going to discard like yesterday's news. It would be very hard on the child to keep losing people they begin to care about. Start being more selective with your romantic partners, and have more respect for yourself and your child.

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Raye - posted on 07/14/2015

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If you don't know who the father is and can't find him, then put your last name as the baby's last name. It's that simple.

MaryAnn - posted on 07/13/2015

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For the legal aspect... please dont give baby his name. Dont have him sign the birth certificate. Find the father- sort that legal shit out. Talk to him (with reasonable respect) about this other man who wants nothing more than to be a father and go from there. Im a firm believer that there is no such thing as too much love. If he's serious about it, arrange visitation. Anything else can be modified once things are settled. No one can stop you legally for taking parenting advice and allowing your child to form a relationship with a crimeless man- especially a loving one.
If he has a hard time understanding- just tell him youre keeping your nose clean- but fully support him as a parent.

Sonia - posted on 07/12/2015

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I only write this up because i have no idea who the father is it was a mistake i cant remember his name and i dont know where to find this guy. its hard for me because we only knew eachother for a lil bit than we started off with our lifes again. getting pregnant wasnt meant to be.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/10/2015

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Also, one more major point to add......what happens when your already ex, wants nothing to do with said child? Never sees the kid? How do you explain this to your child? You have some random strangers last name.....that is awful. Don't do it. Just don't.

Every one of these comments is on target. Especially the "he is your ex for a reason". If you eventually find a man that you are compatible with, and he wants to adopt your child.....it will be easier if you don't need permission from a man that you put on the birth certificate that isn't even the father. You really need to think with your head, not your heart on this one.

Michelle - posted on 07/10/2015

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I agree with Little Miss. Involving your ex to that degree will only end up a big mess. He's your ex for a reason, try and remember that.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 07/10/2015

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I would not put an ex's name of your baby that is not the father on the birth certificate. We have seen this done so many times on this page, and all it causes is pain. Don't do it in my opinion. Only the bio fathers name should go on the birth certificate, or the mothers name. Why would you want your ex's name that is NOT the father on it? He wants to help, that is great. Sounds like a stand up guy. But he is not the father, and not even your partner.

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