Evil sister in law

SiMpLiCiTy - posted on 11/22/2013 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I don't know how to make this simple, it's actually a long story. I've got the worlds worst sister in law and mother in law. I met my boyfriend 5 years ago bc his sister was sleeping with my sisters husband. The whole 5 years we have been together his mother and sister have done nothing but try and tear us apart. His sister has done more than enough damage to all of us, to the point of us staying away from absolutely all of them for the last year. Here's the deal, she's constantly bashing me on Facebook and spreading ridiculous lies and rumors and all the friends and family join in on every conversation. My kids can't even see their grandpa, who they adore more than anything bc she's got her moms head full of lies and everytime we take the kids to see them the mom tries to fight me and she's had her hands on me more times than I can count. His sister sends pictures of him and our kids to his ex wife, who has no business having any pictures of MY kids nor him. I don't even know how to put in words what this girl has done to me and my family, it's so heartbreaking and hurts so bad, so often. It has gotten to the point where she literally copies my every move. I started school to be a police officer, she couldn't stand that I had the spotlight, so she started school too, beauty school. I cut all my hair off, like Rihanna, super short on one side and a bit longer on the other, she told me my hair looked like crap then 3 months later she got the same haircut and dyed it the same color as mine. I wear glasses, I have to, can't see without them. She went and got her a pair of glasses too. We haven't spoken to her or his mother since June, other than her texting me out of nowhere, cussing me for all I was worth and making the comment about my hair bc she had seen us out town. She is constantly posting on Facebook that she is going to **** my world up the next time she sees me out town but we see her all the time and she never says anything, everytime we see her she makes another post about how her brother wouldn't even speak to her, but can you blame him? I don't know what else to do, I have blocked her on Facebook, but I'm having to block her and her friends and family every other day bc they keep making new profiles. I even went as far as deleting my own Facebook to get away from her but that still doesn't work, they just send some other family member to our house or drive by every weekend to see what I'm doing while her brother is at work. She posted online that she knew what I was doing behind his back, bc my sisters new man was here (with my sister who is currently staying with me) and his truck was in the driveway while ours wasn't bc my man was at work. This girl makes me feel like I'd rather be dead than deal with her and her family anymore. Somebody please tell me what to do, how to deal with this crazy, psycho, stalker??? I'm trying so hard to keep our kids away from that crazy family, he nor I want either of our girls to have a life like we had with all the fighting. We made the decision together to stay away when we made one last attempt to reconcile with them and his mother had her hands around my throat, after telling them if we couldn't fix it this time we would just keep our kids away for good. How do I just brush this crap off? How do I move on from them once and for all? We haven't spoken since June like I said, my daughter was in the hospital, very sick and his sister cared so much that she started a fight with me at the hospital then put more lies on Facebook. How do I heal from all they have done to my family. I don't have any friends bc of her lies, his entire family hates me, except for his mothers mom, bc she knows the truth. Help plssss... I tried to work it out for my kids sake, but they just wouldn't do that. His sister even went as far as having her 7 year old call me and tell me I was a whore. I will not subject my kids to these ppl and their ignorance, but how do I move on when it hurts so badly that my kids won't even know their family and knowing their all punishing us for her lies.

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LalaBoom - posted on 11/25/2013

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Tiffany, hold your horses mama. I'm not insinuating **you** are the problem. Hell, even if you DID tell on her, you're still not the problem!

I asked because in my line of work when I come across this level of hostility, harassment, and abuse (both physical and emotional) directed at you and your husband, it usually comes from,

1. Someone who feels they have a "score" to "settle"

2. Mentally unstable

3. Criminals, lol

I STRONGLY suggest you get a restraining order. This chaos is not good for you and your family.

Ev - posted on 11/24/2013

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I do not know what to say tough, because you have done what I would have done but seriously, she needs to be turned in. Her stalking you like that be it the internet or otherwise needs to stop. She needs to know that she just can not up and follow yo all over the place.

[momoftwo] - posted on 11/24/2013

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You go girl! Lol
That's good you won't give in to their BS anymore because that's what kept them going. Eventually they will give up and move on to the next person. I think they need to go get help for being Bi-polar or something because they have issues.
Its good he stuck by your side and realized they were crazy because that type of stuff could ruin a relationship.
And I truly honestly believe that his sister is a creepy obsessed jealous stalker and she needs one of those soft cushy bouncy rooms with those "hug myself" restraint jackets haha. She would have a good time there where she belongs.

My mom is by far the laziest person in the world and she should have been classified as the most unfit mother growing up. Nothing was ever good for her too. My guy has health issues and stuff and it used to be full out war she would call him a bum and a loser because he didn't have a job and all that stuff when really she never took the time to see how happy we were (maybe she was jealous too because my parents are miserable together) either way she sure found out how serious I was when I told her *uck you and didn't talk to her for a month or two. I couldve died from a hematoma I had after our son was born so that would have been the last thing I said to her. She's been nice to him ever since hahaha. :P

[momoftwo] - posted on 11/23/2013

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WOOOOOW.... These people are a bunch of CRAZYYYYYY! Talk about obsessed with you! I think you need a restraining order for sure! And call the cops on his crazy *itch mom if she puts her hands on you like that.

You and your family need to cut them out completely for the safety of everyone including your man. I hope he stays by your side because you sure as hell have been going though complete hell just to be by his! I would only talk to the nice ones though and let them have contact with the kids but no one else. You and your fam dont need that.


P.S: I think your hair look fine. The dumb skank is just jealous that you thought of doing your hair like that first.

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SiMpLiCiTy - posted on 11/25/2013

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They've only been to one birthday for our kids, my oldest is 3, youngest is 1. His mother and sister came to my oldests 3rd birthday party. None of them came to the hospital when I had our youngest and when I had our oldest they came and stayed for maybe 20 mins if that. My father in law and hubby's grandma, uncle, aunt and older sister are the only family members of his that treat our kids and I like part of the family. Funny story, his dad is actually married to his aunt, his mother slept with him and got pregnant, then they split and she had his stalker little sister, then they somehow got back together. His sister on his dads side is nice to me, everybody on his mom side is mean to me but the ones I mentioned above and his dads family lives way off but I do get along very well with his dads sister. Actually got a message from her today, that his dad was in the hospital. This is why it bothers me so much, I love his dad so much, he's always treated me like part of the family and we can't even go see him bc of his crazy mother and sister.... Gosh I just don't know what to do.

Charlene - posted on 11/25/2013

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I only read the start of this and I'm already feeling your pain.
My sister in-law has had it in for me ever since I came along, she told her entire family all this crap about how I was abusing her and treating her like crap. Now the hubbies ENTIRE Mum's side of the family hate me. It was bad enough that his Pop was telling him behind my back that I was no good for him, his Nan was saying that I'm turning him into an A**hole, his Mum is wrapped up in her own little world, hasn't seen her own Grandson since he was 3 weeks old, now he's 6 months, because DH sister had a baby 2 weeks before me, and that baby is far more important.

What I did was told them that none of them could have anything to do with me or my child. DH followed along and told them he didn't want to see them either, and they spat the dummy and abused the crap out of all of us. We didn't hear from them for months, until long after my Son was born, and we decided to give a fresh start with DH Nan, and we're seeing how that goes. So far so good but she's still stepping her foot out of line here and there.

My best advice, stand your ground, tell them to either treat you with respect, or they're not welcome in your life. By YOUR life, that means your children too, because they are YOURS as much as your partners.

SiMpLiCiTy - posted on 11/25/2013

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I have dealt with so many kinds of people and never in my life have I had to deal with someone like this. I've never met someone who stalks you and copies your every move and just won't stop period. I googled some things about the laws we have and then I asked her to stop very nicely and also sent her copies of what I had read and what she would be facing if it didn't stop. She started making numerous posts after that, stating that I would have to prove she threatened me before they could do anything about it, I then made copies of all her messages and posts containing more than a few threats and also sent those to her. When she received those she immediately started deleting all the posts she had made about me and her brother and our kids and then she started saying that we would press charges as well, of course she was only trying to scare me, I have nothing to worry about, I've never threatened her, I have on the other hand told her that I'm not a bit scared of her and whenever she felt the need to swing at me then be my quest. She still makes posts about us, not very often and mostly about me, but there still there. I make copies of it all, for my records. I wish that I could figure out what goes on inside these people's head. If you can find out what makes them tick, you can solve the problem. I have learned that these people are only powerful behind your back. His mother will fight and say it to your face, but his sister will only talk down to you thru a screen, unless of course your pregnant. The reason I have waited so long to get a restraining order, is bc she is family and that's just gonna make the rest of them worse, but I'm afraid that's a bridge we will have to cross bc so thing has got to give. I want to thank you all for the advice. I've known for a while what needs to be done, I just haven't been able to bring my heart to do so, I think after what's been going on the last week, it's time!

SiMpLiCiTy - posted on 11/25/2013

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Actually no, I didn't know anything about it. My brother in law brought my husband home with him one night and that's how we met. My husbands cousin was at the bar with the two of them and she actually called my sister and told her about it after we started dating and they both finally admitted to it. If you are insinuating that's the problem, your very wrong. She may hold some kind of grudge bc of my sister, but I had nothing to do with what went on between them and neither did her brother.

LalaBoom - posted on 11/25/2013

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You said in your post you met your boyfriend 5yrs ago because his sister was sleeping with your sister's huband.

Question:

Were you by any chance the one to tell your sister that she was having an affair with her husband?

I have a strong feeling you will say yes, but I'll hold out and wait for your answer.

SiMpLiCiTy - posted on 11/25/2013

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Lol thanks. I held on as long as I could, but something's are just to much to handle and my family doesn't deserve this, especially our children.

[momoftwo] - posted on 11/25/2013

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THANK GOD! Lol you guys really need that restraining order.
And I agree Tiff, I mean yeah you suck it up for the kids but man there is a limit! You held out longer than I ever could of. You're a strong chick. Lol

SiMpLiCiTy - posted on 11/24/2013

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My husband and I are talking this out, he seems to be ok with a restraining order. I'm also doing my research on our laws around here, to see just exactly what can be done about her. I actually talked to an officer about the Facebook posts and messages and she told me I would have to contact the county attorney, which is something I am trying to avoid. I keep hoping it will stop and I won't have to take things that far, but it's looking like that's what I'm gonna have to do. She may be family, but she needs to learn that she can't treat people this way without some kinda con.

SiMpLiCiTy - posted on 11/24/2013

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Well, we stopped talking to them a few times over the years, we wouldn't go around for about a month the first time and then it turned to 5 months and now we just aren't doing it period. I tried like hell to make things work out bc I wanted my kids to know their grand parents and aunt, but this last time was absolutely ENOUGH. We hasn't spoken for a while and his dad kept coming down to the house begging us to go talk with her and fix it so he could see his grand babies, so one day we decided to leave the kids with my sister, and we called before we went, to let them know that we were only coming to try and talk things out for the kids and the first time things got out of hand we would leave and not return, we wasn't there 5 mins and his mom was in my face pushing and shoving and grabbing at my throat, I tried to be the bigger person, I did not respond to her doing those things to me, bc I knew if I did, I would be the one to go to jail since it was her house. We left as soon as she started acting like that and haven't went back or had any contact with her since. His father still comes to the house maybe once a month to see the girls, but that's about it. Trust me sweetheart, as much as we are dying to just pack up and move at least 6 states away, we just can't, we can't afford it. We have talked about this for quite some time now, he's even trying to get his credit up so that we can get a loan and buy a house somewhere far away. Also that's why I went back to school, so that I could try and find a good paying job and get us out of here. Just to be clear, the fist time it happened we were living with his mom bc he was having trouble finding a job, I was pregnant and we couldn't risk living on the street, he finally found a job mowing for people and I would have to ride to work with him and sit in the truck all day just to get away from his mom and sister. I didn't let them treat me that way to prove myself, I always got blamed for everything and in the beginning he even blamed me. I put up with it bc I said for better or worse and I meant it. I wasn't going to let them drive me away and during the most of it we had no other choice. We moved out as soon as he got on his feet and we vistited until we had both had enough. Everyone kept telling me that I needed to just deal with it and be the bigger person for my kids but I realized my kids don't need it and took them out of the situation. It had gotten so bad that his sister moved to the same state we were in and we had to move back here, I'd rather be close to his mother than his sister who starts all the trouble between me and his mother. His sister is crazy, I don't know if its jealousy or if she's just plum insane but we just can't get away from her. She's like a stalker ex who won't go away or some creep on the Internet. We moved a state away and she followed us, so we moved back, she started dating a guy who resembles her brother so very much, then she started copying my every move, right down to my glasses and if I told someone my kids were sick, her kids would all the sudden become sick with the same (kidney problems) my baby had. It's all over now, we don't plan on going around and can't even go to the holiday dinners bc of them, but I'm still trying to deal with all of this, bc his sister is still coming at me with her craziness. I bet this girl starts a fight with me at least twice a month an keeps it going for weeks, even when I'm not responding, which I do not anymore. I'm not the only one she does this to, she's always fighting with someone, on a daily basis.

Ev - posted on 11/24/2013

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From all you have stated why did you let it go for so long? Why did you not call the police on them the first time they laid hands on you like that? Why did you go back for more? It sounds like to me that you have finally done what you need to do but the first time it happened I would not have let it go on and allowed them to walk all over me like that for a while just to prove to your man it was not all you. Was it really worth that being walked on to get him to see what was in front of his eyes? And if you two are so adamant about not being in contact with his family, why live in the same town where you can be seen by each other all the time? Maybe moving would be better? And it sounds like counseling may be needed.

SiMpLiCiTy - posted on 11/23/2013

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They are crazy for sure, they will stop at nothing to destroy my life. Is that obsession? Is that what's wrong with her? You wouldn't believe how far these people will go. His mother even tired to drive a wedge between me, my kids and there grandpa by telling him I said I didn't want him around my kids and then telling me that someone told him I said that and he was mad and ready to fight. I never said that at all, she did and tried to blame me. He drinks a lot and we don't let him see the kids when he's drunk and she hates him drinking so she always tells him we hate him but that's far from the truth, we just know what's best for the kids but we still love him. Not only that but they (sil-mil) tell everyone that our kids aren't his. A this point we don't speak to his mother or sister and can't speak to his father bc of his mother. We only go around his grandma whom I love so very much. His mother and sister have never accepted me nor our kids. We've been together 5 years, our kids are 3 and 1 and I am a stay at home mom, but I just finished school and I'm trying to work around the girls on getting my job as a police officer, I don't have time for the crap anymore. Luckily my wonderful man has stood by me for the last 2 years, after he finally realized how they were. It took him a while to see them for what they really were, I actually had to start saving all the messages on Facebook and text messages and screen shots of all their posts before I could prove to him it wasn't me, I also saved all my replies as I have nothing to hide and if he has a problem with me defending myself against them, well, he can just get over that. I'm not the type of person to let ppl walk all over me. I let them for a while, just to make him happy, but they wouldn't let off so I started giving them the same treatment. I have since grown up, I don't argue my point to them nor do I respond the their nasty comments and threats. I just ignore them which is when his sister turned to copying me, she saw that nothing else was working, now I'm just gonna ignore the copy cat even more, it does bother me that she would go that far and none of them have caught on yet, but I just have to walk away bc I know I'm better than that. The thing about my hair is, when we were actually getting along, I had told her that I wanted to try that style for some time, but been to scared, two years later I got the nerve and done it and by that time we weren't speaking anymore and she texts outta nowhere telling me my hair looked like shit and whoever did it needed to go back to school. I'm guessing she said that bc she's now in school to do hair and she was jealous. On the plus side I absolutely love my hair, I finally found a style I wanna stick with and her opinion is not valued. She has since dyed her hair black, which won't last long bc she dyes it every week.

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