Kathleen - posted on 04/27/2015 ( 10 moms have responded )
My Daughters Graduation is May 17 in Michigan. My EX husband lives in Texas and he is planning on coming to the Graduation with his new GF and her children (18 and 20). We have been separated/divorced for 18 years and I have been re-married for 8 years. My husband was also married before and has 2 daughters. I know his ex wife and we've been to many family events together. Although it is a strain, I still am calm and friendly with his ex wife no matter how awkward I feel inside. My EX Husband hasn't been around for most of my kids lives in fact he didn't attend my son's graduation last year so my husband hasn't had to meet or talk to him. My husband doesn't want to go to the graduation because my ex will be there because the whole idea makes him "uncomfortable". His unwillingness to be there and deal with it makes me pretty mad. I've had to deal with going to his oldest daughters high school graduation and then having someone say, "lets get a family pictures" MEANING my husband, the ex wife and the two kids... She also got a picture with the Ex Wifes 2nd Ex Husband, but I just stood on the sidelines watching the whole thing. I was never asked to be in a picture with her or interact at all - to me that was an insult.
Now for my daughters graduation, my kids want to have my ex husband come to our house and cook (he's a chef) instead of going out to eat after the graduation. I personally don't want to have my ex husband at my house, and my husband will find some excuse not to be there so there I'll be... stuck with the ex husband and the new girlfriend and her kids, whom I've never met.
Instead of doing this event at my house, I thought we could go to the local park and have a cook out, we could go to a restaurant and have a meal to celebrate. Do you have any other suggestions? I feel like I'm stuck in the middle and it's going to be SO uncomfortable... I love my children and I know this is really about them, especially my daughter since she is the one graduating and I will do what ever she wants, but even typing this now, I feel so anxious and uncomfortable about the impending ordeal... got any suggestions on how to deal with this without hurting anyone's feelings?