Ex has his gf and kids sleeping over when my child is with him

Leela - posted on 03/05/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

222

0

30

Hi moms, need your advice. My ex and I coparent our 10 year old. We agreed years ago that we would not have a gf/ bf sleep over while our child is at either of our homes. I've abided by this rule. However my ex started dating a married woman with 3 kids last year. Her kids are young - 10 months, 9 and 11. She is now going through a divorce and there's a lot of drama which the kids (including mine) have been exposed to. My ex and I are fighting bitterly over this whole matter. I am not trying to control him or what happens at his home but I feel that 1. He is not living up to the agreement we made as co parents 2. He's not setting a good example for our child (which is why we made this agreement!) 3. They've been together only a couple of months and the kids are too deeply involved (my son broke down in January because his father wasn't spending any time with him alone). I'm tired and frustrated. Please help.

6 Comments

View replies by

Jodi - posted on 03/05/2014

3,562

36

3907

Oh, I totally agree that he is a selfish ass, but again, unless it is in a legal agreement, you can't really dictate it. What do your custody orders say?

Ev - posted on 03/05/2014

8,011

7

918

Do you have a formal visitation, custody and child support set up. Because in the visitation and sometimes custody, it will state no cohabitation unless married or related to the opposite sex. It was in my visitation. But they do not really do much about it anymore. You need to talk to him.

Leela - posted on 03/05/2014

222

0

30

Thanks ladies, I am trying to coparent but it seems like I'm alone in my efforts. It wasn't a written agreement but a code we said we would live by. My ex said he would give up some of his custody time if it means his gf can't sleep over. He only has him 2 days a week and 1 Sunday every other week!!!!

Jenny - posted on 03/05/2014

5

0

0

Unfortunately the man in question does not care about the agreement you had. And may not care how his son feels.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 03/05/2014

13,264

21

2015

Ditto Jodi. With this addition: If you are successfully coparenting with your ex (this is awesome), then perhaps you could speak with him regarding the alone time concern that your son has expressed.

Otherwise, as Jodi stated, unless it's in the legal paperwork, you cannot dictate who is in the home whilst your child is with his dad.

Jodi - posted on 03/05/2014

3,562

36

3907

Unless the "agreement" is a legal document, you need to let it go because you are fighting an uphill and unwinnable battle.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms