Ex husband's girlfriend yelling at my son

Lynn - posted on 04/17/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )




How do you deal with ex's gf who is a control freak constantly is on top of a well behaved child and trashes me and his brother to my son? also tries to force "I am your mother" when you are here mentality down a 15 yr olds throat? He's sick of going to his fathers and having to deal with this emotional turmoil. Our older child has decided to live with us full time. I just want everyone to get along but this woman is making it very tough and with my ex supporting her bad behavior and yelling at a child when he's done nothing wrong while my son cries is just too much! Has anyone else ever dealt with a over bearing ex's girlfriend not being nice to your child?


Raye - posted on 04/20/2016




I just want to make a quick point.... I'm a step-mom, and if the kids start being disrespectful and saying "you're not my mom, I don't have to mind you" then my response would be that I am the mother in THIS house, and you will follow the rules. If your son is actually well behaved at this father's house, then the GF needs to back off. She's not married to the father so legally she's NOT the step-mom and NOT "their mother when they are there".

The bigger problem is that the father is allowing the GF to do this. She only has authority that HE gives her. So the real issue is that the father is taking a back seat to parenting when the kids are there. My husband is very active in his kids lives, and I take the back seat (as I should not being their natural parent). But he also doesn't allow them to disrespect me. So the father should be reigning in ANY disrespectful behavior (whether from the kids or the GF).

Michelle is right, though. The only thing to do legally is try to get the visitation orders changed. Your kids are old enough, the judge should consider what they have to say.

Michelle - posted on 04/17/2016




The only thing you can do is get the visitation orders changed and have the children with you full time. You can't control what happens at the other parents' house but you can protect your children by limiting the time they are there.
Talk to a lawyer about your options first. It may help if your lawyer sends the Father a letter explaining the abuse that the children are being subjected to.
You may even want to seek some counseling for your son and see if they will back you up in court about the abuse.
Yes, it's abuse! Verbal and emotional abuse is horrible and it's your job to be the voice for your children.


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Dove - posted on 04/23/2016




The best thing you can do is to take it to court. At 15 your son should be old enough to testify to who he wants to live w/ and if he wants to have visitations w/ his father or not and 'hopefully' the judge will completely respect his wishes. Perhaps he would still want to see his father for one on one visits out to dinner or a movie or something when the girlfriend is not around.

If she makes him uncomfortable and yells at him and trashes you and his brother... he should absolutely be able to make the decision to never see her again, but unless it's in a court order you can potentially get in legal trouble if your ex fights you.

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