Ex is bad mouthing me to my kids....

Barb - posted on 06/12/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am recently separated and started seeing someone new. My ex has been saying bad things about me to my kids. Telling them I ruined the family. Their attitudes have totally changed toward me, they wont listen and talk back and don't want affection from me which they always ha e before. What can I do and what can I say to my kids? How have other mothers dealt with the terrible hurt felt when your kids reject you because of the bad things they are being told?

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Barb - posted on 06/13/2012

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Thanks. I was a child caught in the middle too so I do realize that they will see what he is doing when they are older. Some days are really hard to fight back the tears when they repeat what their dad says. He's trying to convince them to live with him. I never say bad things about him and always tell them they will always see both of us and don't have to choose.

Michelle - posted on 06/13/2012

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The first thing to do is to NOT say bad things about their Dad. It will only cause more confusion for the children.

When they tell you what he has been saying just respond with something like: "I'm sorry that's what you've been told, but just remember I will always love all of you."

Try not to let the kids know it upsets you as well. Eventually they will look back and realize what he has been doing and they will respect you so much more if you don't stoop to his level. I was a child stuck in the same situation except it was y Mum saying the bad things to us about our Dad. After I left home and realized what she had been doing I lost a lot of respect for her. Children shouldn't be used as pawns in our divorce battles and it upsets me when I see parents doing it.

Good luck and I really hope he stops it soon. There are lots of things that children just don't need to know about adult relationships.

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