EX'S NEW GIRLFRIEND TRYING TO BE MY SON'S NEW MOM

E - posted on 03/21/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

3

0

0

My ex has a new girlfriend, which is fine...We have been divorced since my son, 10 was 1, so 9 years. We divorced because he is a heavy drinker and was abusive to me. He has been a good "weekend" dad, as far as always picking up my son and not canceling and coming to many of his sports events. Sometimes he shows up reeking of alcohol, but he shows up...driving and all! Well, now he has a new girlfriend that keeps texting my 10 year old and calling him baby, sweetie, darling, honey, ALL THE TIME. This woman is 43, not 20 and has known my son for a month. She has also started sending him messages (several) that say, "come stay with me this weekend...pleeeze....." and then follow up by saying "beg!". She wants my son to come and be with her on my weekends.......
In addition, I have heard through the grapevine (my ex's previous girlfriend) that his plan is to start working on my son to convince him to move in with him...Now, I know that no judge would probably give custody to a drunk with 5 DUI's and who actually doesn't even have a license now since its suspended....Regardless, I am scared that they will start putting my son in the middle and trying to make me and my family where Gage lives look bad. I am a good mom! I work full time but volunteer at the school, have been to every one of my kids practices and sporting events, study with them every night, take them on vacation, and do family outings....Maybe I am over reacting but I am scared of what my innocent son might have to endure....any help with how I should proceed would be so much appreciated.

2 Comments

View replies by

E - posted on 03/21/2014

3

0

0

Thank you Lindsay, its really good to hear it from the perspective of the child, its hard to know whats right sometimes, but you speak from experience and being put into that situation...I so appreciate your reply

Lindsay - posted on 03/21/2014

1

0

1

Hello E Riley. I don't have any expert advise, just my own experience as the daughter of divorced parents. My parents divorced when I was four years old and my dad remarried when I was 12. I love my stepmom, she is amazing and did not do what your ex's girlfriend did, but my mother bad mouthed my step mom out of jealousy and put a lot of guilt trips on my sister and I to favor her over my dad and step mom. When we started to get older we realized what my mom was doing and grew able to draw boundaries with my mom to not bad mouth our step mom. My mom still does it, and we have very little respect for her because of that.
My point is that it might be painful for you to find this out, but your son will figure it out. I don't know if you can put a stop to your ex and his girlfriends actions, but you can love your son and continue to not give him guilt trips ... he will realize what is going on and love and respect you for that.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms