Ex wants me at his wedding to mind our kids.

Toni - posted on 06/19/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My ex is getting married in 3 months, after 2 months relationship. She will be moving into the family home that my 2 sons (10 and 12) visit every second weekend. They were brought up in that house and it has been just them and Dad every weekend since I left 5 years ago.
I have been invited to his wedding so I can look after our boys as he wants them there. I don't want to go, as I don't think it's right, even though her ex will be there.
My sons don't want to go if I'm not there because they've only met the new lady twice, though they like her and her 2 daughters. My ex is now annoyed saying I'm trying to ruin his wedding as he really wants the boys there.
Am I being selfish by not going? Our relationship was built on me doing everything to make him happy and now we are divorced I am no longer that person.
I understand my kids feeling uncomfortable if I wasn't there, though. Do I go for their sakes, again giving into my ex's emotional blackmail.

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Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 06/19/2013

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Put your ex aside and don't think of that you would be going for him. If your kids want to go then think of it in terms of doing it for them. I had a different situation where my step daughter wanted her mom to come to my wedding. I was highly uncomfortable with this considering the hell she caused in my life . I realized I needed to think of my step daughters feelings and let her mom come for her sake and not her moms. I know her mom put words in her daughters ear ( " don't you want your mommy to come ?") in order to try and put a damper on my day , but I looked at it as my step daughter being happy instead of her mom getting her way. It's tough I know but sometimes we gotta make decisions that benefit our kids even if it sucks for us . If you go then it doesn't mean you support your ex but it shows your kids you support them

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