Exhausted, Need To Vent

Ophelia - posted on 04/16/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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It's almost 11 months since my baby girl was born and I'm still exhausted. I don't ever feel anything but love and tenderness where she is concerned, but my fuse is definitely short around anyone else. I wish my family would help but unfortunately my guests are just that - guests. I have to cook for them, clean up after them, and entertain them as if I didn't have the baby at all. My husband can't truly understand how tired I am and is getting sick of me saying it all the time (frankly, so am I). I also basically have 2 sets of inlaws because my husband's grandparents are young(ish) and close to him, so it I have more than my fair share of "company".
I don't like to sound bitter and I know I really shouldn't complain; so many people in the world have a way worse life than I do. But we moved far away from my parents a couple of weeks after my girl was born so I often feel lonely and wish I had a friend who could empathize with me. Or just talk. Since I'm introverted and very shy, which makes it difficult to make friends, I thought I would just put this online and see if anyone else feels like I do.

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Michelle - posted on 04/17/2016

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I agree with the other ladies. Family are not guests, they are family and if they are at your place that often then they can help out. You are not their slave!!!!!!

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2016

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If you can absolutely not ask these people for help or say no when they want to come over. Then limit them; answer one text a day, don't answer the phone and tape a sign on the door that reads; "tired mama and hopefully resting baby, DO NOT DISTURB!". Lock the door and if they have the nerve to knock... open the door, hand them the baby, stroller, car-seat or whatever and go lay down in your bed. They were warned after all. This crowd of yours needs a wake up call.
My mom would invite me over for a meal, she'd cook and we'd chat. Then I'd clean up and she'd play with my kids; bathe them and get them all set for bedtime, buckle them into car seats and I could leave feeling a bit more human.

Tanesha - posted on 04/16/2016

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Ophelia you are not alone! I have an 8 month old son and my husband is an over the road truck driver. I spend 24-7 taking of my son. I would not trade the experience for the world but it can be exhausting. I could not imagine having "company" around that does not offer a helping hand. I think that is complete bullshit(pardon my French). If your in laws are over they should not be burdening your already heavy load, nor should your husband. Everyone needs to come together as a family and help one another, you especially. You need a break, even if it's just 30 minutes to take a walk or workout. You have to take care of yourself to keep up the enthusiasm and energy to take care of your little one. Make breaks where you can, workout at home while your baby naps, or take a hot bath, or nap yourself! I have been forced to find ways to make me time work. You definitely don't need the added stress of entertaining company right now. Talk with your husband make him understand your perspective. This is mom survival we have to take care if ourselves for our best interest, for our little ones best interest!

Sarah - posted on 04/16/2016

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What the heck? Time to have a heart to heart with hubby. If he doesn't clue in then simply say no, the next time they want to visit. Tell them you just don't have the energy. Maybe they do not realize how badly you feel? If they are ever over and make an offer "can I do something to help" jump on it and say "yes, I have a load of wash to be folded and a load to go in the drier, thanks so much" or "yes, I cooked this meal and I like to bathe the baby, if you wash up then she can see you for a bedtime book before bed" Find that inner bravery, the piece of you that'd do anything to help your child. Use it, you deserve it. What's the worst that can happen? They don't come by for a while? Might be a relief!

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