Explaining "stay at home mom" to daughter

Christine - posted on 01/02/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I just asked my 11 year old daughter if she enjoyed her winter break and if she was ready to get back to school. She said, she wished she was me since I don"t have anything to get back to and I am always "on vacation, because I do not do anything." When I asked her what she thought I did, she said "I don't know, but it is not like what I do at school or what Daddy does at work." Has anyone else had to "justify" their existence? If so, how?

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Firebird - posted on 01/02/2011

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Who does she think washes all the laundry and dishes? A little house fairy? That'd sure be nice, eh?lol She obviously has very little appreciation for what you do. You could just tell her about what you do all day, but I prefer making a bigger impact. I like teaching lessons, in a 'learn by doing' sort of way. Honestly, I'd give her a heap of chores to do on a saturday, laundry, cooking, dishes, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom. Whatever you do while you're on "vacation". That'll be the last time she says you don't do anything!

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Amanda - posted on 01/03/2011

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This weekend, make her your shadow. Have her do everything you would do, she will learn real fast that stay at home mothers are very busy.

Christine - posted on 01/03/2011

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Thank you all for your encouraging comments. I beleive this weekend we will have a little "bring your daughter to work" day. Thank you again, I was feeling a little down.

Stifler's - posted on 01/02/2011

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Sometimes I feel like I'm on permanent holidays. I never have to get up at a certain time, can go for a nap when Logan does, I like the smell of washing. But we don't do nothing all day and when my husband tries to insinuate that I do I just laugh at him and make him stack the dishwasher or go hang out a load of laundry.

Amy - posted on 01/02/2011

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I would ask her how certain things get done every day,like dishes and vacuuming and laundry and groceries and paying bills appts,cleaning the floors the bathroom and just when you think everything is done there is more.....See what she says to all that.......Ask her what would happen if you got sick who would do all these things......Tell her you went to school and did all the same stuff.You had a job but now your job is the most important one in the world HER...and many moms would love to stay home and be there when their children get home or when their children wake up but they don't get to have that...She gets you when you she wakes up and when she gets home...ask her would she rather come home to a sitter and a messy house or a mom who loves her and things tidy up?

Laura - posted on 01/02/2011

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My daughter knows better because I'm the one who deals with all of her after-school activities, all of the shopping for her regarding school and attending school functions! While her dad is self-employed, he is gone most of the day and cannot fulfill some of these tasks. I truly think she gets what I do for her though I probably should ask her.

I had some serious health issues last year and physically wasn't able to do all of the things I normally did with housework. I had to eliminate a lot of cleaning (laundry and dishes were the two exeptions) and the house got dirty. Neither my husband or daughter offered up any help (the ingrates!) until I had a little "talk" with them when one complained that the bathroom was dirty. They began to help more and put up with the dirt more after that! Both know that if they have a problem with housework they can do it themselves! My health issue has since been resolved and I am on the mend, though I like the extra help I've now been getting! Hmmm...I wonder how long I can milk my recovery...

Jodi - posted on 01/02/2011

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My 13 year old pulled that shit on me the other week. The difference was, he had the attitude, and said it more like "it's not like YOU do anything".



He went hungry that night. Because it's not like *I* cooked dinner for him or shopped for the food in the cupboard (and paid for it, because my business, while small, pays for the groceries). He then spent the next day doing even MORE chores than I've ever expected from him, and realised how much I actually do around the house. Within 24 hours, he was apologising to me for how he treated me, and thanked me for everything I do.



Next time, he'll be sleeping in the back yard.

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