LKo - posted on 01/08/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )
I am happily remarried to a wonderful man for 1.5 years. I have a 12 year old from a previous marriage and he has an 11 year old from a previous relationship. When we first met (and were just friends), our kids were best friends - always wanted to spend time together. Once we started dating, sibling rivalry came up, definance of the non-bio parent, etc. I firmly believed that we have to be united and deal with both kids as we would our own, and that's what we have been doing. The kids have slowly been getting closer again and accepting of the situation.
However, my stepson takes every oppoertunity to bad mouth both me and my son when the extended family is around, thus causing them to have a very negative opinion of us. He will lie and exaggerate to anyone who will listen about his "terrible" step-brother (every slight bump will be "he attacked me" kind of thing) and step-mom. Thankfully, my husband sees this and it does not affect him as much, but since the extended family only sees us once or twice a year, all they see is what he tells them.
They have done nothing to try and accept me or my son to the bigger family circle. They only call my step-son, they only send him birthday gifts, etc. When we get together, they only bother spending time with "their grandson/newphew" and not even try and get to know my son.
I fear this is going to have a very negative affect on our family, on my son, and on my husband (who adores his large family). I have spoken to him about all of this and he has in turn spoken with his family, but they won't budge. They feel like my step-son is their family and my son has his own side of the family.