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Jodi - posted on 04/17/2015

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How long has it been since he saw his daughter, or even spoke to her on the phone? Who moved the 13 hours away, you or him? What do the court orders say about custody and visitation? Have you ever filed for child support? What you should do really depends on answers to these questions. For instance, if you are the one who moved away, it might be a HUGE factor in why he hasn't seen his daughter all that much and why he is expecting you to meet him half way.

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Raye - posted on 04/20/2015

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So, if he's supposed to have *supervised* visits, then (assuming he paid your gas to meet halfway) who would be with him in the car while he was driving back with her to his house? That's unsupervised. How long would she be staying, and who would be there with them for the whole duration? Is there a court appointed liaison? You want to protect your child, lets start there.

Well, he moved first, so I moved too. How childish. Yes, you are keeping her from him. And you are making it impossible to abide by the visitation orders. You are supposed to be two grown adults raising a child. And you're acting like spoiled brats wanting to take your ball and go home. News flash: a child is not a possession. She's not YOURs only. She's HIS too. If you have evidence to get his visitation revoked, then go to court and pursue that. If not, then do what you can to be reasonable and try to abide by the court orders.

Ev - posted on 04/18/2015

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You may not like the man but he still is the father of the child and he has a right to be able to see her supervised or not. You took that away from him. I understand you want your kids safe. Any good parent does. But its not about what the parents want or need but the kids. If you had moved say to Dallas instead of CA it might have been a different story. But moving over a day's drive from him causes him a lot of issues in getting to see his child. How would you feel if you were in the shoes of a parent that had visitation instead of total custody? Its not fun. I can tell you that.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2015

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"I have sole custody of her and it is stipulated I can make any decisions regarding my child he chose not to show up in court."

I don't think you are understanding. Sole custody stipulating you can make any decisions regarding your child does not include removing the opportunity for him to have a relationship with her.

I do understand. I, too, have an ex who chose not to show up in court and the judge gave me sole custody. HOWEVER, there are also visitation orders in place, so sole custody does not override any orders of visitation. It merely stipulates you get to make all decisions in relations to long term welfare issues such as education, religion, medical, etc. You don't have a right to make any decisions removing his rights to a relationship if it has been ordered by the court that he have visitation. Does that make sense?

You took it upon yourself to remove his right to his visitation. You can't actually do that legally. You are very lucky he didn't pursue this legally. He could still choose to legally take this up in court if he chose.

"No matter where I live or he lives a parent will do whatever is necessary to see their child."

Actually, you made it incredibly difficult for him to see his child. Moving 26 hours away, you may as well have moved overseas to a different country and then told him to suck it up, he'd find a way. It isn't always possible. If he has a job, how is he possibly going to be able to take time off to drive the round trip to see his child? How can you just assume he can afford the airfare to do that? By moving this far away you essentially stripped him of his rights. To say that a parent will do whatever is necessary to see their child is simplifying how very difficult you made it for him. Consider how defeated he must have felt when you just up and took his child away from him.

I am going to correct you on the statement "he is emotionally hurting my daughter". You did this to her by taking her 26 hours away from her father without any consideration for his OR her feelings about that. I, too, am very surprised he hasn't pursued this in court. You could have lost custody for doing that. You still could if he decides to pursue it.

Dove - posted on 04/18/2015

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If you MOVED 26 hours away... that is your fault. How the hell did you expect him to maintain visitations like that? People aren't made of money and all this random free time, you know...

The fact that he calls once or twice a month proves that he cares and that he wants to be involved in her life. 2/3 of my kids haven't spoken to their father in over a YEAR... the third has only spoken to him a few times because my son calls his dad.

Ev - posted on 04/18/2015

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No, its not enough that you are just raising her. I, also with the other ladies here, do not understand how he can have only supervised visits and be so far away from her and not able to do so. Its unfair to him to have to be this far away and not have a way to do this without your help by meeting half way. Its also unfair to your child since she has not seen him in four years. I am surprised he is not trying to take this back to court. Where was the orders first set? Texas? California?

Dove - posted on 04/18/2015

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If he hasn't seen her in 4 years and he is only supposed to have supervised visitations... why would you send her for the summer and have her be unsupervised?

I agree w/ Jodi's questions as well... how current is this court order? Have you both lived in your current locations since before the court order or did you move since the order was set and what does the order say about moving and/or transportation and locations of supervised visits?

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2015

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If he has supervised visitation, how was he ever supposed to visit if you moved 13 hours away (or is that the half way point)? I am assuming that if he has supervised visitation, there is a court ordered visitation schedule? I'm confused as to how you expect him to be an involved father if you moved so far away?

If your move was approved by the courts in the court order (sole custody does not mean approval to move wherever you like), does it state who pays for what in relation to the visitation? Generally it is 50/50, which means meeting half way is not unreasonable. But really, you are the one who moved, you should be making every effort to facilitate the visit.

With regard to the child support, child support and visitation are two different things and non payment of child support shouldn't inhibit the relationship between father and daughter. If he isn't paying child support, follow up on that through the appropriate avenues. I am not suggesting you are being unreasonable, but put yourself in his shoes for a moment - you up and moved his child that many hours away. He got no choice in that. To HIM you are coming across as unreasonable. He's asking you to meet him in the middle. He sees that as a fair thing.

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