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Sarah - posted on 10/24/2015

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Even is he is dirty dog to you, doesn't mean he can't learn to parent. As much as you don't want to hear it, he is as entitled as you are to parent this child. Partial custody isn't going to save him a fortune in child support. Have you considered that maybe he has had a change of heart? That he does regret his actions and desires parent his child. If you are ok with visitation, meaning she may go for overnight visits, and weekends, why are you not ok with shared custody? If he sends gifts to his child, you should not send them back. That would be seen as alienation and isolation.
BTW you do NOT have to allow him to go to the doctor with you. That is one area you have complete control over. Your relationship with your doctor is private and protected by law.

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Dove - posted on 10/24/2015

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Your child isn't even born yet. His current actions (unless he is being violent and endangering the unborn baby) have NOTHING to do w/ the child... either positive or negative.

Well... except for the fact that he's sent you gifts off of your baby registry (obviously he would send the gifts to you... kid isn't born)...

The fact is that he is the child's father and he has every right to petition for joint custody. No one here can predict what a judge will rule, but you need to prepare yourself for the possibility of joint custody. If he doesn't really WANT to spend the time w/ the child... he might not, but if he does... you will have to find a way to accept and deal w/ it cuz you are stuck w/ this man on some level for at least the next 18 years. Good luck!

IF his behaviors after the child is born are endangering him... document and you can always take it back to court if you have solid evidence that the current custody (whatever it ends up being) is harmful.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/24/2015

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Well, you may not want to hear it, but the fact is this: You made a choice, no matter how drunk you were, to have sex with this man that you'd broken up with. That interaction resulted in your current situation. YES he's got the right to petition for custody. YOU don't have the right to deny the relationship.

Dove - posted on 10/24/2015

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And Sarah brings up an excellent point. If you are OK w/ unsupervised visitations... the only reason you would not be OK w/ partial custody is to be petty yourself about money... because there is no significant difference between the two as far as him being w/ the child is concerned.

Dove - posted on 10/24/2015

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His chance of getting partial custody is pretty good. It, generally, doesn't matter how he treats YOU (especially since the baby isn't even born yet), but how he treats the child. You can certainly document everything and have a lawyer present whatever might help, but you can't erase the fact that he's the father and if he goes into court wanting to be involved... he likely will be unless you can PROVE it's a danger to the child.

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